Wisconsin Badgers Football: 2019 Preview Mailbag!

You asked questions, we’re going to sorta answer some of the ones we felt most like answering.

When can we expect Paul Chryst to officially bypass Brolema’s achievements by winning the Big Ten?

Barry won his first in his 4th season, Bielema won in his…5th/6th/7th depending on who is counting. 2019 will be Chryst’s 5th.

(I say this as I put on a beaten golf visor, pop my collars, and shotgun a natty light before smashing the can against my forehead)

Posted by KetteringLex

Beez: This question made me more nervous about the upcoming season that I thought it would. I started getting worried about how maybe Chryst actually sucks? Then I remember that conference championship games are a new thing. Bielema won in his 5th season, tying with Michigan State as co-champions, despite MSU holding a head-to-head win that year. Lol@2010 MSU.

Barry won his first in year 4, finishing tied for first with Ohio State...with the two teams having tied earlier in the year, which, I didn’t realize ties were such a relatively recent thing.

Chryst went 9-0 in the conference in his third season, which would have been good enough for a conference title back when Biels and Barry were coaching. Even if they’d played and lost to OSU during the season, Wisconsin still would have tied for a conference championship under the old rules. What I’m saying is if we pretend that winning the conference is the same now as it was 8 years ago, Chryst would have already won it!

Anyway, I have no idea when Chryst is winning the conference...next season maybe?

MC: Obviously they’ll go 15-0 this season. But I have no concerns about Chryst, he’s had a lot of success, is recruiting at a high level, and has a great coaching staff in place. But as a serious answer for the question, I’ll put a vote in for 2020 if Jonathan Taylor somehow returns, 2021 if he doesn’t.

Is the average Wisconsinite missing a few fingers?

Posted by HistoriCat

MC: So generally speaking a normal person will have ten fingers, depending on your vices, and that’s the bulk of your population. Then of course some people are born with abnormalities, have amputations, lose a finger to a fireworks accident, or have some sort of Jimmy Fallon-esque ring avulsion issue (don’t Google it) that definitely doesn’t involve inebriation, no sir. BUT, there are also those born with that weird sixth finger on a hand, pushing that average back up a bit. All in all, statistically I’d say the average Wisconsinite is missing a portion of one finger.

Beez: My driver’s ed instructor was missing some or all of the index finger in the hand he used to point to things. The result was he used is middle finger to point, which means it looked like he was giving everyone the finger all the time. 15-year old boys unsurprisingly found that hilarious.

What cheese(s) make the best grilled cheese sandwich?

Any personal taste/preference for non-dairy items to be included inside as well? (veggies, meats, etc)

Preferred side dish to go with your sandwich?

Posted by Lions_Tigers_Wings_Oh_MI

Beez: Are we talking an actual grilled cheese or a sandwich that’s all fancy and dressed up and only “grilled cheese” by the most technical of definitions? If it’s the former, Kraft american singles, two per sandwich. If it’s the latter, Brie, plus granny smith apples plus shredded Parmesan or something similar plus honey mustard, but only a little bit.

MC: Oh man I don’t have enough time to share all my thoughts. The short answer is that my answer to this changes all the time and right now I’d probably also go with brie. But that was already said so for the sake of variety I’ll go elsewhere. But first, I’m not adding anything else to a grilled cheese. Fuck apples, I’m not looking for that sweetness when I want a grilled cheese. I’d say bacon but that makes it fundamentally a different type of sandwich, so just go pure. As for sides, I’ll be basic because there’s no need to do otherwise, tomato soup. Anyhoo with all that out of the way, your grilled cheese recommendation of the hour is Havarti on sourdough.

Beez: Oh man tomato soup.

How much longer does BA have left? What is life after BA?

Will the student section fill this year at any game before 10 minutes left in the 3rd?

Posted by ChiHawki

Beez: Nobody reading this will see life after Barry Alvarez. Lord Alvarez is the beginning and the end of all things, college football or otherwise. Also, college football, society, or the world are definitely ending before Alvarez retires.

MC: How dare you for making me think about this. But probably like two years. Then he gets to let loose the minions he’s been programming for 30 years and nothing will be different about life after Barry.

beez, as a western wisconsinite

how neglected do you feel by mc clap and his eastern elite establishment

Posted by MNWildcat

Beez: I am a west-central Wisconsinite (WEAU for life!), and I did not realize as a child just how far away the eastern part of the state is from my hometown. We’re talking a 4+ hour drive, and once you’ve gotten there, you’re still only in Milwaukee. (To my relatives who live in and around Milwaukee...I love you?) Frankly, if you’re going to drive that far, why not go the extra hour to Chicago? My second-biggest regret from college is that I spent so little time in Chicago. IT WAS SO CLOSE and I don’t know that I made it there more than four times before I moved to Virginia.

MC: Western Wisconsin hilariously far away, weird love for Milwaukee folk, recommendation to go to Chicago, looks like Beez hit all my talking points here. Surprising coming from a westerner.

Beez: If I’m going to run for President some day, gotta appeal to all sides of Wisconsin.

true or false

If drinking were a team sport, with the league composed of states in the US – Wisconsin would be the New York Yankees or New England Patriots of the league.

Posted by dlrhawks

Beez: As a Wisconsin fan I have been conditioned to think that we won’t ever win or be the best at anything major. I guess that makes us more along the lines of the Milwaukee Brewers (sadface.emoji) or the Minnesota Vikings (lolface.emoji).

MC: As noted in the comments of our request, false because we’d be the Harlem Globetrotters.

What’s your favorite brat or other sausage?

What’s the best brat/sausage establishment in Madison? Discuss.

Posted by HoustonBoiler

Have same: What is a game day must eat - pre and post?

Posted by ChiHawki

Beez: Brat I’ve gotta go with Da, other sausage I’ve gotta go with spicy Italian. Or chorizo if I’m feeling adventurous. MC is gonna have to answer the others.

MC: I’ll go with a Polish sausage all day, and the best place to get a brat/sausage in Madison is directly from someone’s grill. If you’re looking for an establishment, it’d probably be a bar near the stadium because outside of meat markets I don’t recall a true restaurant that prided themselves in brat/sausage quality. Then again I’m an old now. Oh but for game day in Madison there’s usually this pop up on Regent called JD’s that makes these great steak burgers. Get that, pre- and post-game.

Is spotted cow worth $27 in the MKE airport?

It’s a 12pack. It’s for sale at every place inside of security. I’m sure it would feel strange walking around with the 12 pack getting on/off the plane.

Posted by JayMPSU

Beez: I have never been to the Milwaukee airport, but you’re 100% right about the 12 pack thing. It would get so heavy and annoying to lug around, plus I’m sure it’d explode in the air.

MC: Let’s just get it out of the way that as a true Wisconsinite it is my duty to tell you that Spotted Cow is near the bottom of the list of what New Glarus puts out there, which is really a testament to them more than anything. With that being said, here’s why this is a deal to jump on. One, as has been well-documented, you cannot get New Glarus beer outside of Wisconsin, so this beautiful airport is basically inviting you to go home with a regional delicacy. Two, do the math on that. That’s $2.25 a bottle for AIRPORT BEER. Go to another airport and watch yourself hit $27 after two or three. Fucking Wisconsin, man.

Beez: I didn’t even think about the price point...$2.25 per bottle for a beer you can’t get in another state. And even if you could get it, it’s probably only going to be available at a bar or restaurant, which means at least $3.50 plus a tip. Get it and get a new wheely suitcase to put it in so you don’t have to carry it.

I’d like to axe a question

What is the mispronounced word which most annoys you (e.g., “axe” for “ask” or “expecially” instead of “especially”)?

And this is a serious question and in no way just an excuse to tie a Wisconsin mailbag back to something like this

Posted by StewartRL

Beez: Sherbet. There’s only one r in the word. Stop saying bert. Stop it. Also I don’t like when people pronounce “espresso” like “ekspresso.”

MC: I don’t know that I’m annoyed, but nothing catches the ear quite like someone unironically pronouncing “c’est la vie” in the way that you’re guessing correctly right now. Kinda like someone unironically macing themselves with Axe body spray.

Isn’t Wisconsin just red Minnesota?

Posted by vaudvillain

MC: Die in a fire.

Beez: Wisconsin is Minnesota but without the bragging about being second best at lakes. I’m sure one of the many, many historians in our midst, particularly those who study old political parties and stuff, would better know the comparative levels of Communist success and activity between the two states. Given what Alice Cooper said in Wayne’s World (Milwaukee is the only major metropolitan area to have elected two socialist mayors), I’m thinking Wisconsin is indeed Red Minnesota.

Which would be easier:

Beating Ohio State and Michigan

OR

Playing Rutgers 12 times and winning all 12

Posted by 87 Rides A Surfboard

Beez: Are we talking all in the same season? If so, beating Ohio State and Michigan is just the math nerd correct answer. The Rutgers won would be way, way more interesting to watch develop, say, over a simulated season of NCAA Football 2020.

MC: Rutgers. Make it a hundred. It’s just way tougher to overcome huge talent gaps in college football than most other sports, and Ohio State and usually Michigan (insert Rutgers win over Michigan here) are more likely to smack you with their one chance than Rutgers would in a bunch of chances.