wisconsin Record Predictions // B1G 2019, Potluck #4

Shit, I’ve been talking B1G Media Days and forgot I was supposed to tell you how wisconsin will finish in 2019.

Not good? Can we just agree on not good?

Sounds awesome. Thanks.

(In more seriousness, big ups to beezer07 and MC ClapYoHandz for their awesome thoughts on wisconsin football in 2019! Check out their stuff in the sidebar and let ‘em know how adequate they are!)

Question #1: Ice Cream, Non-Creamery Edition

It would be far too easy of me to use wisconsin’s state dessert, the cream puff, to transition into a discussion of wisconsin’s 2019 (or any) non-conference schedule. Plus, unlike Minnesota, I’m pretty sure they’ve played a non-Oregon State P5 non-conference foe in the last decade or so.

As such, we’re going to talk about a dessert apparently invented in Milwaukee that I’ve never bothered to try because I think fruit-flavored ice cream is kind of gross: Blue Moon.

That’s right! Observers have traced blue moon ice cream to a “chief flavor chemist” in Milwaukee in the 1950s, but like most good desserts, its actual origins are unknown. Good enough for us! Thanks for giving us a weird, even-more-sugary ice cream, Milwaukee!

So, writers, your question: (1) Do you have an occasion where Blue Moon is your jam? (2) Rather than argue pointlessly over Babcock or Michigan State or Penn State creameries, invent a more wisconsin-style ice cream cone concoction, either for your school or theirs.

Beez: Blue Moon ice cream was the best treat ever when I was a kid. The ground floor of the building next to my elementary school at UWEC had an ice cream shop for a while and I would always get either Blue Moon or bubblegum flavors. Blue moon is magical.

Creighton: When I was a kid we had a Baskin-Robbins in the mall by my house for a while. I went there with my mom once and they had a watermelon flavor, complete with candy watermelon seeds, that was extremely bright green. I ate it, and I remember it tasting exactly like you’d think bright green fake watermelon flavor to taste like, which when you’re like 8 years old is pretty damn good I guess. Eventually the ice cream worked its way out of my body, and folks....the fluorescent green food coloring wasn’t changed even a little bit. Imagine being 8 years old and crapping out something the exact color of ninja turtles. This is all a roundabout way of saying that I find the artificiality of the color and flavor of Blue Moon ice cream to not be my jam.

Ray: So, that looks pretty awesome. Ergo, I have decided that it was developed in New Jersey, just like the light bulb, vibrating beds, and oh yes, football. I will now be sure to include mentions of how this was developed in New Jersey for every potluck from here on out. You don’t like it, I’ll go head and send over the goon squad (and by that I mean Zuzu).

Townie: I thought blue moon was beer? Never heard of the ice cream. Is it beer ice cream? In honor of the only folks I know in Milwaukee (ever) I think Wisconsin needs Pepsi ice cream. If you don’t know the reference...get off my lawn.

MC: Very on brand for this place to immediately troll-use that Men In Black thing on everyone with regard to Wisconsin recently taking on LSU, Alabama, and LSU again. Anyhoo, I never touch Blue Moon. How Ben & Jerry’s doesn’t have a monopoly on ice cream by now, I will never know, and I don’t think they have it. And on top of that, custard beats out ice cream anyway. Is there Blue Moon custard? That’d change this whole answer. As far as a Wisconsin-inspired flavor, ice cream flavors are already getting pretty far out there anyway, but let’s get gross. Butter-flavored custard with fresh bacon bits.

Jesse: I’m not so sure I know what that is, but I like absurdly flavored ice creams. Not unlike Creighton, my jam as a kid was bubble gum ice cream, and if/when I can find it, I definitely indulge in a bunch of nostalgia.

Thumpasaurus: You know what, I remember the Cold Stone where my sister worked having wasabi ice cream for a brief moment in time. Based on that, Wisconsin needs cheese ice cream. Why has this not been done already?

Boilerman: Can’t say I’ve ever had Blue Moon Ice Cream. Now a Blue Moon beer flavored ice cream, that may be Wisconsin-ite enough.

Question #2: Football

Looking at wisconsin’s schedule...yeesh.

Yes, that is a three-fer crossover of Michigan, Michigan State, and Ohio State. Yes, that is a weird road game at South Florida to open the season. Yes, that is five consecutive home games through the first six games. It could be an odd season in Madison.

So just tell us: How do the badgers fare in 2019?

Bonus, from WSR: Would you want your team to hire a G5 coach that gave your team a scare/beat you or your rival as your next coach?

Beez: 10-2 with losses at NY6 Bowl participant South Flording and at Capital One Bowl participant Ohio State. Or worse than that, only time will tell.

No dice on the hiring of a G5 coach. Wisconsin has already done that and somehow dodged a bullet by hiring Chryst away from Pitt, no need to tempt fate a second time.

Townie: Oh woe is me, having to play OSU, UM and MSU in the same season...boo hoo. But yeah, to draw that trio as crossovers, does suck. I see six slam dunk wins here. I see two definite losses. So there are four toss ups in this schedule, that will depend on health, luck and scheme: Northwestern, Michigan State, Nebraska and Purdue. I can see this being an 8 - 4 year for Wisconsin and second place in the B1G West.

As for the second...yes probably. I sure don’t want to hire some “nice guy” out of Oregon State who never scared anyone ever.

Ray: Man, it must be hard having to play those teams every year? Do you need your badger hair stroked and your ears scritched? Yes you do. Oh you poor babies. Oh you just need some cuddles. Yes you just need some cuddles yesyoudoyesyoudowhosagoodbadgerwhosagoodbadger

Absolutely yes. Not that I don’t love Ash, but have you seen what Dino Babers has cookin up north? In frostcocked Syracuse of all places!

WSR: All right, let’s see...Michigan, Northwestern, Ohio State, Iowa, and Minnesota are losses. That’s 5. CMU, KSU, and Illinois are wins. So 3-5. South Florida should be a win, but I can see that be much closer than anyone who doesn’t hate wisconsin being comfortable with. So 4-5. 2 more wins to a bowl game, right? Not happening. I think they’ll get one of MSU, Nebraska, and Purdue, and that win won’t be pretty at all which means Sparty. 5-7.

And no, I don’t really think that I’d want Minnesota to go Jerry Kill it up again and hire a lower-tier coach that either beats us or gives us a scare. The approach should be to find the best coach and best fit of guys who are G5 head coaches, just because you don’t want to limit your pool. But you know what? In the context of wisconsin week I’d be all for it because I’d love to see the responses to “wisconsin badger Head Football Coach Charlie Strong.”

Creighton: 6-6 (3-6). I don’t think this is a better wisconsin team than last year, but I think the opponents on their schedule are mostly tougher. I guess they’ll earn the title of “Best 6-win team in the country” and then beat some poort C-USA bowl opponent by like 60 to make themselves feel better going into the off season.

Also I don’t understand WSR’s question. Do y’all not run your football team like a monarchy, or….

Jesse: So yeah, that’s a weird ass schedule. Generally speaking, I like Charlie Strong. But, is there anything more Charlie Strong than getting a ton of hype and finishing out 0-6? I think Wisconsin is probably favored in its non-con games, and wins - albeit not super comfortably - all of them. Hate the crossovers for them - although, Nebraska had all three of them last year and travelled for two of them, so it is what it is - but still think they end up something like 5-4 in conference. Those away games aren’t super pretty, but the West is anybody’s game. We’ll see.

MC: To the woe-is-us crowd, it’s not that we have to play all three of those teams, it’s that we’re the only ones in our division that do. And that’s not a complaint, someone’s gonna draw that straw every year in this conference format, it’s just how it is this year.

I’m expecting 15-0 until I see otherwise, but to be more of a realist I’m cautiously dropping down to 8-4. I just don’t know how QB play is going to shake out and that’s such a huge piece for alleviating pressure and the run game and defense. If they start Mertz and he’s Day 1 lights-out this is a different conversation.

I’ll brace myself for two losses in the East crossovers and two in the weird-ass West. 2019 is wild. And no I don’t want that Cal Poly coach from like 10 years ago, wherever he may be.

Thumpasaurus: If you wanted Rutgers every year, you should have tried sucking out loud for an extended period of time. I have Wisconsin going 7-5, with a 4-5 conference mark. I don’t trust that defense.

MNW: They will be a good team until proven otherwise. The badger defense takes a step forward almost by default after the injury struggles of 2018; while I’d say the offense would take a step back because opposing defenses can cue on Jack Coan or Graham Mertz, that’s what defenses should’ve been doing for the better part of the last 26 years in Madison.

So give me wisconsin 3-0 in the non-conference, 1-2 on the crossover, and 5-1 the rest of the way: Getting Iowa and Northwestern at home will be HUGE for the badgers.

That’s 9-3 (6-3), and missing the Big Ten Championship—possibly on a tiebreaker.