Ohio State Buckeyes 2019 Record Predictions

You’re right. This is a day late.

Like I said in the last one, OSU Week is a slog, both because it comes at the back end of an incredibly long B1G 2019 series and because...it’s Ohio State. They’re probably going 11-1, making an appearance in the Big Ten Championship game, and getting left out of the College Football Playoff in favor of Notre Dame or something.

Cool?

Anyways, it’s Friday, and Friday Hate will be up shortly (possibly. I don’t actually know who’s writing it). But, in the meantime, take the opportunity to predict how the Buckeyes will finish in 2019.

Debate #1: Gin.

But first, grab a cocktail!

I haven’t been to Columbus since an ill-fated trip to the Columbus Craft Beer Festival in summer 2014, but I’ve got places on the list for when, in five years or so, Northwestern and Ohio State are matched up for “competitive balance” after the ‘Cats win the West four straight years.

And when I do, I’m excited to check out Watershed Gin, a Columbus distillery that’s been there since 2010 doing good things in gin, which happens to be a favorite liquor of mine.

That might be, Mr. Swanson, but Watershed offers me three different kinds of gin—Four Peel, which they consider “citrus forward”; Bourbon Barrel, which I would gladly sip; and Guild Gin, which is a “HELL YEAH” from me for adding rose petal and chamomile. I enjoy a nice gin and soda in the summer, and I’m asking you, writers:

(1) Where do you come down on the gin debate: For rich women on diets? Excellent in a martini? Just shittier vodka? (2) What’s the local craft distillery?

Boilerman: To each their own. Don’t drink much gin but won’t judge otherwise.

Craft distillery? In Northern Indiana? HAHA, no.

MC ClapYoHandz: Gin is horrific pine tree swill and deserves its ceiling as 6th-most important Long Island Iced Tea ingredient.

I don’t know if we’re still talking about gin specifically for distilleries, but I’ll throw a rec out for Chicago’s Maplewood Brewery. Basically whiskey on the distillery side but they also have good beer. Try the Brownie Points Brown Ale.

MNW: I’ll confirm that Maplewood is excellent. Only did the beer when I was there in May, but it is worth a visit, because the beer is damn good, too.

As far as local distilleries go, I’m going to shout out Great Lakes Distillery in Milwaukee, which still makes my favorite gin (Rehorst) using just a little bit of basil, giving it a really interesting spicy flavor. And I wasn’t as big on their gin, but on my trip to Maine recently the wife and I peeled off on US-1 to stop at Cold River Distillery, and their blueberry vodka—holy shit. Life-changer.

Creighton: Gin is awesome. I can drink it on the rocks, but my favorite is a dry martini (no more than half a capful of vermouth). Charlottesville has like 3 or 4 craft distilleries, but the only one I’ve been to is Vitae. It’s right next door to Ace Biscuit and Barbecue (my favorite restaurant in town by a mile), and you can bring your breakfast biscuit into the distillery for a nice cocktail if you want. Vitae makes a damn good gin.

WSR: Gin? No thanks, I’m good. I think I’ve got about half of a bottle of Pine-Sol left.

Beez: Gin and tonic is one of the best summertime drinks! I don’t know what else you do with gin beyond “and tonic,” but it’s a strong enough trick to make up for the fact that it’s gin’s only one.

There’s a local distillery here that makes “gin,” and I put that in quotes because for some reason they make it taste like black licorice which, wtf.

Townie: I’m a Hendricks and tonic fan. Just a lime wedge and I’m good. I actually like the herbal gins (as opposed to the piney gins). A great cocktail is gin, lime juice, simple syrup and elderflower liqueur. Shake and serve up in a martini glass with a lime peel twist.

We have a local distillery called Marlin and Barrel. I’ve had their 2nd Street gin and the Venture vodka, but they have several I’d like to try.

Jesse: When I drink, I like gin. I used to hate it, but that was a mix of bad gin and bad decisions. Anyhow, there’s something good about a good tonic and a refreshing gin. As for local craft distillery, the only one I remember in Nebraska was Cut-Spike Distillery that made whiskey. There was also a vodka but I don’t remember the name.

AND, because Texas. Tito’s Handmade Vodka yall. It’s kind of a big deal down here to the point of absurdity.

Debate #2: Ohio State Record Predictions

Look at that schedule.

That opening salvo of the Ohio State Buckeyes season is replete with pitfalls and oddities all over: Last year’s preseason darlings, the Florida Atlantic Owls, coming off a 5-7 campaign but with the mercurial Lane Kiffin still at the helm and surely readying a bag of tricks for Ryan Day’s official opener. This year’s darlings might well be the Cincinnati Bearcats, who lost only at Temple and at UCF en route to an 11-2 record. They’ll come to Columbus (no way they’re going to Cincinnati), but a deep rush attack and big-play potential from the QB position means they could give the Buckeyes a run.

And then there’s the Big Ten schedule. The usual third-quarter scare at Indiana, followed by games with possibly-talented Nebraska Cornhuskers, Michigan State Spartans, and Northwestern Wildcats clubs. A soft middle slate of overmatched offenses and also Rutgers. And the hallowed Big Ten East run-in, with dates with the Penn State Nittany Lions and Michigan Wolverines. It’s a daunting crossover and challenging divisional slate—so tell us:

1. How will the Buckeyes do in 2019?

2. Coaching rematches: We’ll never get an Ohio-Nebraska bowl game [BIG BOWL GAME won’t let it happen], but what is a coaching rematch story from your team’s recent past?

3. What’s the mid-major team that you both would like to beat every year, but that you don’t want to have on your schedule?

Boilerman: I have the Buckeyes hitting 10 wins. The schedule is just tough enough that I can’t see them going undefeated. Throw in roadies to not one, but two B1G West goes and, woo boy, it could get ugly.

MC: I don’t really participate in the predictions so I’ll just get chocolate wasted with this one. Lane Kiffin is going to beat OSU to start the year. The West will have a winning record, with Wisconsin and The Nerds taking home wins. Michigan wins The Game. 8-4 and so many awful Day puns.

I think UCF is still the team you want to beat but don’t want to play. They’ve done well so far post-Frost but don’t have his hype anymore, so losing to them isn’t as excusable. Schedule App State and you have to carry Michigan’s cross for a while. And definitely don’t schedule Cal Poly because that just gets really weird.

MNW: You can pencil me in at 11-1. I’m not sure how it happens, and if there was a year for Ohio State to lose a hilarious non-conference game I would tap my nose and nod at Luke Fickell and his Cincinnati Bearcats, but...

After Randy Walker’s Miami-Ohio Redhawks gave the 1995 Wildcats their only loss (seriously), Northwestern hired him after Gary Barnett left for Colorado. I assume John Pont at one point had a rematch with Indiana when he came to Northwestern long after taking the Hoosiers to the top of the Big Ten, but...it was the Dark Ages. I don’t really care.

These days, I’d love that Solich-Frost matchup. It’s why I’m rooting for a Nebraska bid to the Motor City Bowl. MAKE IT HAPPEN, PIZZA PEOPLE.

And as for GOOD rematches, let’s just cue up the ol’ Future Schedule machine...

Give me Retirement Bert playing out his days in Hawaii, coaching a raft of Samoans as they plow their way through the Mountain West three yards at a time. Just in time for 2022.

There’s no real mid-major I’m jonesing for Northwestern to play. We’ve already got Tulane and Rice on the schedule; that’s pretty much the MO these days. Keep Northern Illinois the hell away from me.

WSR: (1) Let’s get ridiculous for this exercise before I have to put some actual thought into making everyone’s W’s & L’s tie out. They still have far and away more talent than anyone else in the conference, and Day knows how to make the offense hum. 11-1, and the loss will be on par to last year’s inexplicable one to Purdue. A middling team that’s got some explosive talent but is just barely bowl eligible? Hello, Maryland.

(2) A coaching rematch I’d love to see would be one that we were OH SO CLOSE TO GETTING! If only Jimbo had gone to TAMU one year earlier we could have gotten a Brewster-Bielema redux! Oh how cruel of the fates to deny us this.

(3) If there was some way to get Iowa to drop them, I’d love to see Iowa State. Much like Iowa and wisconsin fans that flee their college towns to Chicago and the Twin Cities for jobs, there are plenty of Clones chuckleheads up here as well. And since it is a nice regional matchup I wouldn’t be opposed to it. If you wanted to include community colleges, I think this would perfectly cover NDSU as well.

Creighton: (1) Buckeyes go 11-1, with the one loss coming from Michigan State, close calls against Indiana and Maryland, and blowouts in over-hyped games against Nebraska and Michigan.

(2) Nothing spectacular comes to mind. Ferentz beat Peej before he came to Minnesota, he beat Dan McCarney after he left Iowa State, and he beat Nick Saban after he left Michigan State.

(3) Iowa State. Stop playing them every year, they do nothing for our strength of schedule and I’d rather play a P5 team (but like a real P5 team).

Beez: 10-2. Loss to Nebraska to get the hype machine REALLY frothing before it collapses under its own mediocrity, loss to Michigan because good lord it’s gotta happen sometime.

Townie: I think we see two maybe three losses this year. It’s hard to change this many things about a team - HC, Quarterback, defensive system, and not have a couple of hiccups. I’m going with losses to Michigan, Northwestern, and Sparty. Michigan State holds them scoreless and wins by two field goals.

Jesse: I’m going 11-1 because until Ohio State does not rule the Big Ten, I’m picking them to do so. They continue to have more talent than everyone else. They have an offensive infrastructure of doom. Oh, and those ‘pitfalls’ in scheduling are just weird glitches that will convince people that ‘hey Nebraska could do this’ as Gameday comes to Lincoln to watch the Cornhuskers get murdered. So who is the ‘1’ loss to? Maryland. Because why the hell not.

As for retroactive coaching matchups, I do like the idea of a Solich-Frost game. But, don’t count out a Craig Bohl-Scott Frost mashup or even a fun thing like “Mike Riley takes the Oregon State job again and has a last hurrah in the former insight.com bowl” or something dumb. I don’t know. I’d be here for that.

Lastly, I’m sort of with WSR and Creighton in that ISU would be fun to have but there’s zero chance I want to lose to them ever. Also, three separate fanbases calling them a mid-major is some ABSOLUTE shade. As for other contestants, Kansas (for hilarity and a trip to Lawrence), Wyoming (because a trip to the Mountains is always fun), and perhaps Akron for being weird last year about the whole game getting cancelled fiasco. Wouldn’t want to lose any of those but they’d be fun games to have.

There you have it! Give us your OSU record predictions and takes in the comments. And let us know: gin, or no gin?

HATE whenever someone writes it and drops it. The Fanposts are right there...