OTE Mailbag Request: “What the hell was that?” Edition

As I was laying down waiting to mixing the NFL and melatonin would put me into a coma, I realized that I forgot to fire off the mailbag request for the week partly due to the fact that the Gophers didn’t keep me up until sunrise again this week. I apologize profusely.

So how is everyone whose team played over the weekend feeling? Go away, tOSU. We’re not talking to you. Because other than the Buckeyes, there were definite questions for pretty much everyone else that played this past weekend. Illinois lost the 2nd Emu War. Maryland learned what Texas probably feels like after losing to Temple for the 2nd year in the row. Purdue...yikes. And, of course, SPARTY! NOOOOOOO! Even if your team won (Hey there friends from Iowa, PSU, Nebraska, Northwestern, and my fellow Gopher fans) you’re probably wondering what the hell was going on. Even fans of a team that didn’t play this weekend woke up in the gutter Sunday morning to discover that they’re transitively worse than The Citadel. It’s a weekend that many of us are going to want to forget as quickly as possible in regards to football.

If she had the time, energy, and bandwidth, BRT would probably be able to give us the David Foster Wallace version of Falls Tarts this week without even leaving the conference. But that’s not how it works, so you may need to ask us questions to see if we’ve got any way of deciphering things. And as always, it doesn’t just apply to football: We “writers” are also “experts” on plenty of other subjects, including food, terrible movies, intercompany financial consolidations, soccer, volleyball, lawyering, matching nail polish and hair binders (SOCCER DAD LYFE WOOO!), and much much more. Ask us stuff, and we’ll pick a bunch to

answer.