Ten B1G Things
1. Harbaugh remains winless as an underdog, and holds one lone victory against top 10 competition.
2. Michigan is Tennessee with better PR people.
3. Wisconsin has gone backwards 2 years and that’s bad news for the rest of us.
4. It turns out that Andrew Luck was Harbaugh’s most aptly-named pupil after all.
5. Chase Young is on track to be the first Buckeye since Mike Vrabel to record double-digit sacks in back to back seasons.
6. Fields can hand it off good as fuck, he just doesn’t have to anymore.
7. Indiana sticks to the Tom Allen playbook: beat everyone you should and no one you shouldn’t.
8. The B1G is keeping the lights on Storrs this year
9. Dantonio is now the winningest coach in MSU history—and that’s a chip on his shoulder, dammit.
10. Northwestern was actually on an 8-game conference win streak prior to this meltdown.
11. 671 yards of offense and only a 4-point victory? Frosty.
12. Adrian Martinez has the strongest legs in the B1G. That’s the only way he could run for 118 yards with 21 Huskers on his back.
13. The Big East 15-year reunion was a lot like your 15-year reunion: physically disappointing and full of sadness.
14. Michigan back. Notre Dame back. Texas back. Nebraska back. Wheel in the sky keeps on turning.
Michigan at Wisconsin | Harbaugh destroyed in Camp Randall, 35-14
There are few words that can adequately capture the crushing misery Michigan fans must be feeling. At long last, they can cling no more to the idea that Harbaugh is the man to return Michigan to glory. Wisconsin owned every phase and facet of this game. The Badger O-line steamrolled the Michigan defense. Jack Coan went 13/16 with no INTs and a beautiful TD scramble. Shea Patterson was useless, with a 43% completion rate—most of it after falling behind 35-0.
Beez: Just utter domination. Taylor apparently is the first RB to ever get 200+ against Michigan. He was great. Coan didn’t make a single mistake and had a few really nice throws. The defense got 4 turnovers, hit the QB on most plays, and was fun. Basically it looked like Harbaugh and Michigan has never seen a game of football in their lives for much of the game. Biggest bummers are two targeting penalties and the death of the shutout streak.
Miami at Ohio State | OSU makes it ugly, 76-5
For the first 9 minutes, it looked like OSU might be facing a MAC foe that had their number. Fields committed his first turnover after dawdling in the endzone pocket. A rusher who beat Dobbins’ block stripped the ball, which mercifully caromed out of the endzone. Drove on the next possession—courtesy of Buckeye penalties—to notch a chipshot FG to go up 5-0. That’s when things started going as you’d expect. Fields threw for 4 TDs and ran for 2 more, and Dobbins inched toward 3000 yards.
UConn at Indiana | Hoosiers true to form, win 38-3
Peyton Ramsey is that old tupperware you can’t get rid of, because it’s come in handy once too often to justify ditching. Playing for the injured Penix, Ramsey turned in a blistering 23/27 performance for 247 yards and 3 scores. Stevie Scott added another, and Cam Jones opened the second half with pick-six to bury UConn.
Candystripes: Indiana, despite having a few early missteps and possibly losing a very talented senior O-lineman for the year, looked very solid against the Huskies. Peyton Ramsey started for the second straight week, only this time, the opposition wasn’t world-beating national championship hopefuls, so his afternoon went much better (23/27, 247 yards, 3 touchdowns, 1 INT). Stevie Scott also looked much better this week (97 yards rushing and 1 TD), as the Hoosier rushing attack put up more yards than UConn’s entire offense (178-149). Hopefully, some of this momentum will actually stick around through next week.
Michigan State at Northwestern | MSU buries NU, 31-10
To say nothing went right for Northwestern is an understatement. Facing a 3rd and 20 on their own 48, NU forced the ball downfield, which was intercepted. That set up a 62-yard Spartan drive that put MSU up 14-3. Sparty never looked back, with Lewerke and friends pouring on the offense. The Cats gave up multiple big plays, and couldn’t force the ball into there endzone on 3 tries from the 1-yard line. Not great, Pat.
Prince Albert Inakankski: MSU’s random number generator of an offense came up with a con save for the first time in their last 4 tries against Northwestern. This one turned out to be over when MSU got a goal line stop after a fumble on a punt return gave Northwestern a short field midway through the second quarter; off that stop, MSU rattled off 24 in a row after sputtering early. They still had too many drives, especially early, fizzle immediately with penalties and drops, and expecting this defense to continue cleaning up mistakes like that isn’t going to be tenable with pending trips to Madison and Columbus - or maybe even in next week’s visit from Indiana. Can’t be dissatisfied with the result, but clearly there’s still some stuff to sharpen here. #defendthespittoon #hocccccccccc #ptoo
MNW: There’s not much to be said about this game that (1) hasn’t already been said, or (2) needs to be put into print. I, for one, am Very Thankful that Northwestern is led by Football Men who like to do such important things as Establish the Run and no one is holding a gun to my head, absolutely not.
LPW: 5 or 6 wins here we come. Wheee! What a complete clusterfuck. We couldn’t run against MSU or stop their passing game. Someone pass the booze, and remind our butlers they have a long and difficult night of work ahead of them. Next week against wisconsin will be equally as bad. God. Our offensive play calling was so bad I want to load Mick McCall into a catapult and aim it into Lake Michigan.
Nebraska at Illinois | Huskers triumph over fellow B1GW power, 42-38
Were it not for the litany of miscues and turnovers, this might’ve been a stunning Nebraska victory in their conference opener that would’ve put the team on track for a great run. Instead, the Huskers shot themselves in the corncob on multiple occasions, leading to a 21-14 deficit at the break. Martinez turn it on in the second half, but to let Illinois rack up 38 points after being drubbed by EMU has to leave folks in Lincoln wondering if black is really the best color for a shirt.
Dead Read: I’ll leave the details to BRT or Jesse. I had to desert this game because it was too maddening. A few quick thoughts: On one hand, Nebby accumulated 671 yards, more than doubling the output of Illinois, and won by four points. On the other hand, Nebraska had over 100 yards in penalties and was minus three in turnovers. Illinois refused to accept these gifts, and I am not sure if that was polite or rude - perhaps I should contact the Emily Post Institute for a ruling. Nebraska survived. Somehow. Let it be known that when the going got this weird, I did not “turn pro.” I changed the channel as a coping mechanism. (edited)
BRT: Like Dead Read, I bounced on this one after the first quarter. I returned sometime in the mid-3rd just in time to see one of our many glorious turnovers. In the meantime, I guess I missed a few hundred yards of offense? Last year was a weird, dumb game too, so I guess that’s just what we do with Illinois now. If you were unaffiliated, I suppose it was kind of a fun game to watch: lots of offense, dozens of dumb mistakes, head-scratching officiating decisions, Wandale Robinson. If you were invested... well, it probably wasn’t your favorite. I’ll say this for the Huskers: they aren’t very good, but they are pretty entertaining. This is win number 900 for the program, so unglamorous as it was, that’s kind of cool.Anyway, as a “reward,” Nebraska gets to host OSU AND GameDay next week. It’s going to be very, very un-good. I’m considering camping so I’m far away from TVs and news of how that game goes.
Thump: Lol. If you’re reading this, I hate you and hope your kids lose their birthdays.
Jesse Collins: Weird game. I honestly expected to win despite being down for pretty much the entirety of the game because by all accounts, we were playing better. Nebraska actually held Illinois to 299 total yards, which is incredible considering the second play went for 66. Conversely, Nebraska put up 98 plays for 690 yards, outpassing the Illini 327-78. Should it have been close? No, but Nebraska cannot get out of its own way. Whatever, I guess we’ll just take what we can get. LASTLY, Wan’Dale Robinson getting his due was nice to see. Can’t wait to watch him evolve.
Boston College at Rutgers | BC wins friendly gasoline fight 30-10
My Rutgers boycott continues. The entire program is an embarrassment. They are Delany’s Iran-Contra Scandal. Jail everyone involved.