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Big Ten Football Week 5 Preview in MS Paint Infographics: Featuring Buyouts!

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All you need to get ready for Week 5

At 4-24, Lovie Smith now owns the worst Big Ten winning percentage of any Fighting Illini head coach.

Worse than Beckman, worse than Moeller, worse than Valek.

Illinois has won 4 of its last 31 games against Big Ten teams, and two were against Chris Ash. So...that’s 2 of 28...just to give you an idea of how rare the opportunity was that the Illini coaching staff pissed away. I don’t know why I’m still doing this.

This feature requires me to spend a lot of time thinking about college football. If it’s ever fun, maybe you’ll get a lead-in that doesn’t suck.

Until then, here’s some dumb diagrams!

bama ain’t never played nobody
hat tip to r.l. stine
i made this joke about minnesota years ago with less detail
yes, really, only four super bowl coaches have also coached against msu
fewer jeffs than i’d hoped for
i am slowly mastering this complex art program
pissed off cardinals. hey, someone identify all the raiders
if your buyout is kirkian, you better have a national title
because he’s the world’s youngest boomer

Hey, check out the series archive to check out all the captions I added!

while keeping in mind that sometimes i want to create the illini football experience for my readers