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Peer Into The Chrystal Ball

What can we say that this man hasn’t already? Everything.

NCAA Football: Big Ten Media Days Jim Young-USA TODAY Sports

By all accounts from those around him, Paul Chryst is a funny, friendly person that is fun to be around. His coaches and players love him, and recruits always comment on how awesome it is to talk with him. All of this is new information for those that only hear him speak in interviews, because the man is a jazz musician when it comes to providing answers to the public that say absolutely nothing. This guy is not letting you into his brain, and he doesn’t care if he looks and sounds like Art Paul Schlosser’s brother while he does it.

Just how good is Paul Chryst at minimizing valuable insight? Well, let’s try to find out! The game is simple. You will be presented with several quotes responding to a prompt: one is actually from Paul Chryst, the others are fake quotes created by us. Think you can spot the real Chryst quote? Well, have at it and marvel at the indirectness of it all!

The prompts below come from Chryst’s weekly press conference following Wisconsin’s 49-0 win over South Florida.

On building off the opening win going forward:

#1: “I think, you know, it’s good to get one on the board. The guys, they work. It’s a long, uh, the offseason you spend a lot time, time with the preparation and building. So it’s good to get one in and see results and get that rhythm. The guys have school, you know, adding that to the week now and getting used to it. So we’ll keep at it.”

#2: “Well it’s good to get, uh, going and get kind of a bit of a routine type week. Although it’s a little bit different with uh, school starting Wednesday, for our players. So, uh, but a normal week of preparation and uh, certainly looking forward to getting to open up at home. And uh, before then though we’ll have a great week of preparation by our, by our team.”

#3: “There’s, there’s a sense that we’re capable of doing some things, the guys have that, that drive. I think you see them go about their business, uh and just put them, try to put them in a position to succeed. With school now we’ll have more, uh, more on people’s plates. Some for the first time. But we’ll keep the process moving and, and keep at it for Central Michigan.”


Quote 1: Which Paul Chryst quote is real?

This poll is closed

  • 31%
    Option #1
    (67 votes)
  • 26%
    Option #2
    (58 votes)
  • 41%
    Option #3
    (90 votes)
215 votes total Vote Now

On deciding whether to play a player that’s banged up over the course of the game:

#1: “You know I think those uh, first of all what’s the health of the player. And then certainly, you know, there’s some games where you get to the point where the game’s probably not, uh, in the balance as much as, and then, then you’re trying to, you know get guys in there that have earned the right to play. And, and I think that was one of the, really good things about Friday night was a lot of guys did play and had earned the right to play.”

#2: “When you’re talking about specifically with injuries, it’s, you know where are they and, and um, you know can they go back in…are they going to be ruled out? Those are not hard decisions, right, Doc tells you he’s out, you get that you know, “he could go” and then you try to balance you know where is it at. And, and then, you know…on those you just you gotta find out first can they?”

#3: “Game situation and health, you know you want to play your guys if they can go, uh, so if you’re kind of in the heart of a close one and they can go, you know, that’s a little uh different than maybe a game that’s gotten, gotten out of hand already. But I think, the kids want to play and if they can’t go, you, they, you gotta trust that your teammates are going to step in, um, and get it done.”


Quote 2: Which Paul Chryst quote is real?

This poll is closed

  • 46%
    Option #1
    (69 votes)
  • 26%
    Option #2
    (39 votes)
  • 27%
    Option #3
    (41 votes)
149 votes total Vote Now

Oh and if you actually watched it for some reason and know the answer, just don’t be that guy/gal/gender non-binary human. And stay tuned for the answers whenever I remember I should be providing those later on!