Every week I leave this go because I’m traveling for work and busy as hell, and I think “It’s fine, in the past I’ve just sat down on Thursday morning and slapped something together for DWT;WT!” Turns out when you’re teaching seven classes in two states, that doesn’t work.

Anywho, rumor has it the wisconsin badgers’ game against the Nebraska Cornhuskers was CANCELED by the TYRANNICAL leadership of the “so-called” commissioner Kevin Warren.

THEY WANT TO PLAY, KEVIN. WHY CAN YOUR SON PLAY AGAINST ALABAMA AND THEY CAN’T?

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Today we introduced the Cold War and began looking at the cultural ramifications of the atomic bomb and anticommunism in American life—not just the thundering, unhinged rants of Joe McCarthy, but the cuter, Bert the Turtle-style “Duck and Cover” lessons:

Many, if not all of us, are aware of the uglier side to the postwar Red Scare—the House Un-American Activities Committee hearings, the blacklisting of Hollywood actors who would not answer questions about involvement with the Communist Party, and so on.

(God, this sounds like a Mental Floss article. DWT;WT might take next week off. I hate this.)

You know what? The New Republic covered it last week, every couple years a podcast-adjacent explainer re-discovers it...just watch what happened in 1950 when the Communists took over Mosinee, Wisconsin, a sleepy city down the Wisconsin River from Wausau:

Of course, as the video shows, it was a complete fabrication. The Mosinee Times editor, a member of the American Legion, organized the whole thing—just three months after the McCarthy allegations that the State Department employed 205 communists—to show how average American cities could fall to the Reds. The editor renamed his paper The Red Star, citizens paraded past Soviet flags lining the streets, and restaurants featured rye bread and borscht.

Nonetheless, it remains a great window into the anticommunist paranoia that swept the nation not just in Washington, D.C., or over the airwaves, but in local, micro-outpourings of Americanism.

If you’d like actual, important historical background on this, the Wisconsin Historical Society has both an online exhibit on the Mosinee Takeover and a full article from the Wisconsin Magazine of History by Richard M. Fried with the amazing title “Springtime for Stalin”.

(Less amusingly, the Racine Journal Times noted in 2000, just hours after being “removed” from his home, Mosinee Mayor Ralph Kronenwetter suffered a fatal heart attack. I’m sure the Mosinee libs were owned, though.)

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Thursday

Don’t Watch This

Atlanta Falcons at Carolina Panthers [7:20pm, FOX/NFL]
{Copa do Brasil} Gremio vs. Juventude [7:30pm, FS2]
{Liga MX} Atletico San Luis vs. Mazatlan FC [10pm, TUDN]

Watch That

South Alabama Jaguars at Georgia Southern Eagles

6:30pm | ESPN | GASo -3.5 | O/U 52

Colorado State Rams at Fresno State Bulldogs

9pm | CBSSN | CSU -2.5 | O/U 58.5

I honestly have nothing to tell you about tonight’s schedule. I’ll be carving pumpkins with my wife, an activity I thoroughly enjoy because now my Halloween snacks will be taken care of.

Since last year I shared our Guide to Halloween Recipes [man, can you imagine someone shitting out such lazy content here today?]

It turned out these delicious pumpkin seeds, and my mouth is literally watering:

I could go for the beer, too.

Also, scrolling back through those photos, evidently I opted to make my wife a scrambler for breakfast the following weekend, and I got a little punchy early in the morning. Please tag yourself, let me know what you’re watching tonight, and move on:

Friday

Don’t Watch This

East Carolina Pirates at Tulsa Golden Hurricane (-17.5, O/U 60.5) [8pm, ESPN2]
Minnesota Golden Gophers (-19.5, O/U 61) at Maryland Terrapins [6:30pm, ESPN]

{Bundesliga 2} Hamburger SV vs. St. Pauli [12:30pm, ESPN+]
{Bundesliga} Schalke 04 vs. Stuttgart [2:30pm, ESPN+]
{EFL} Coventry City vs. Reading [2:45pm, ESPN+]
{La Liga} Eibar vs. Cadiz [3pm, beIN]
{Liga MX} Tijuana vs. Pachuca [10pm, FS2]

Watch That

Southeast Missouri State Redhawks at Southern Illinois Salukis

6pm | ESPN3 | SIU -10.5 | O/U 54.5

Hawai’i Rainbow Warriors at Wyoming Cowboys

8:45pm | FS1 | Wyo -1.5 | O/U 60

{EPL} Wolverhampton Wanderers vs. Crystal Palace

3pm | NBCSN | God bless British DST

We are AWASH IN RIVALRY TROPHIES, friends. Positively AWASH.

OUR DWT;WT Team of Choice, YOUR Hawai’i Rainbow Warriors, heads up to Laramie to take on Craig Bohl’s ‘Pokes in a late-night slapper that should feature exciting QB play from Chevan Cordeiro (20/31 for 229, plus 13 rushes for 116 yards and two scores) from Hawaii and...well, mostly just Bohl looking grim and/or bemused. Wyoming, to their credit, came back from 22 down in the third quarter to tie the game with a freshman kicker nailing a 42-yarder late in the fourth quarter, but couldn’t stop Nevada in the extra frame. Bohl’s got a stud freshman QB, Levi Williams, who at 6’5” and 221 could be the next Josh Allen, a rumor I completely made up and you should in no way fact-check.

Hey look over here, a rivalry trophy!

Honolulu Star-Advertiser

Yes, that is the amazing Paniolo Trophy [Hawaiian for “cowboy”, of course], donated, as Wikipedia tells me, by the “Wyoming Paniolo Society, a group of Hawaii residents with Wyoming roots.”

Delightful. The Mountain West and its weird rivalries and late-night shenanigans are back. If the teams and players can stay healthy for it, I, for one, am thrilled.

Minnesota-Maryland was almost “Watch That” after #19 Marshall steamrolling our FIU Sunblazers was mixed, as the ‘VID has claimed another one.

No reports yet on whether Marshall is threatening to play Chattanooga as a replacement.

BUT! There IS Southeast Missouri State traveling up to the Carbondome (pretty sure their stadium is outdoors, but I prefer the name I’ve chosen)—AND BUDDY IT’S A RIVALRY GAME.

Buddy do we have the WAR FOR THE WHEEL, along with this fuckin’ quote from a SEMO State player after being the Salukis in 2019:

“The Salukis are a money program, so we had a chip on our shoulder tonight,” a reference to the larger investment SIU makes in its football program.

That SIU. The damn money program of the Illinois public education system. AWASH in that downstate educational cash.

There’s proximity here that, despite having spent appreciable time in Carbondale—no, really, go get the beer at Molly’s Pint in Murphysboro but DO NOT let them put a pickle in your saison—I did not know. SEMO State is just 45 miles away as the crow flies, and the rivalry dates back to 1913 and includes an anecdote in which SIU players—who back then rode a ferry across the Mississippi to get to the game—had to swim to shore after the boat sank.

The teams now play for a wheel.

Eat your heart out, Cincy and Pitt.

Saturday Morning

Don’t Watch This

Michigan State Spartans at #13 Michigan Wolverines (-24.5, O/U 52.5) [11am, FOX]
Boston College Eagles at #1 Clemson Tigers (-31, O/U 61) [11am, ABC]
#5 Georgia Bulldogs (-16.5, O/U 42.5) at Kentucky Wildcats [11am, SECN]
#16 Kansas State Wildcats at West Virginia Mountaineers (-3.5, O/U 45.5) [11am, ESPN2]
#23 Iowa State Cyclones (-18.5, O/U 52) at Kansas Jayhawks [11am, FS1]
UTSA Roadrunners at FAU Owls (-5, O/U 47.5) [11am, Stadium?]
Temple Owls at Tulane Green Wave (-4, O/U 59) [11am, ESPN+]
Wake Forest Demon Deacons (-12, O/U 60) at Syracuse Orange [11am, ACCN]

{EPL} Liverpool vs. West Ham United [12:30pm, Peacock]
{La Liga} Osasuna vs. Atletico Madrid [12:30pm, beIN]

Watch That

Purdue Boilermakers at Illinois Fighting Illini

11am | BTN | Purdue -7 | O/U 58.5

Memphis Tigers at #7 Cincinnati Bearcats

11am | ESPN | Cincy -6.5 | O/U 55

#20 Coastal Carolina Chanticleers at Georgia State Panthers

11am | ESPNU | CCU -2.5 | O/U 60

{Scottish Cup} Hearts of Midlothian vs. Hiberian

12pm | ESPN+

Don’t let Thump convince you otherwise: Purdue-Illinois, and that beautiful, beautiful cannon, is exactly the kind of crab-meet-bucket game that drags a 1-0 Big Ten West team riiiiight back down to its origins.

If Thump reads this (lol he won’t), he’s post some morose-yet-impassioned “LOL YOU THINK ILLINOIS CAN WIN” in the comments. Yes, I do think Illinois can win, because these are two terrible teams playing bad football for no goddamn reason other than, as Huskers columnists seem to think their job is, helping Daddy Ohio State make it to the College Football Playoff.

Also, OUR Coastal Carolina Chanticleers, for whom we successfully spearheaded the push to get them ranked, still cannot get respect—they’re dogs on the road to 2-2 Georgia State. BUT THAT’S NOT ALL. We also turn to FunOfficePools.com, where I am in a college football pick’em league. BULLETIN BOARD MATERIAL AHEAD:

CAN’T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO LOCATE THE CHANTS’ HELMET? THEY’LL FUCKIN’ SHOW YOU, FUN OFFICE POOLS DOT COM.

Saturday Afternoon

Don’t Watch This

Northwestern Wildcats at Iowa Hawkeyes (-2.5, O/U 46) [2:30pm, ESPN]
Rice Owls at Southern Miss Golden Eagles (-1.5, O/U 59) [2pm, ESPN3]
Other games I’m too lazy to transcribe; scroll down to the spreadsheet

Watch That

UCF Citronauts at Houston Cougars

1pm | ESPN+ | UCF -2.5 | O/U 83!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#17 Indiana Hoosiers at Rutgers Scarlet Knights

2:30pm | BTN | IU -10.5 | O/U 54

Troy Trojans at Arkansas State Red Wolves

2pm | ESPN3 | Ark St -3 | O/U 71.5

One more time, in honor of Rice-Southern Miss, let’s watch QUADRUPLE DOINK:

Any time a game has a total over 70, I tend to recommend watching it—it’s why Troy-Arkansas State makes the list! But that can’t prepare you for UCF-Houston...dear God, there is just going to be absolutely no defense played there at all. I can’t wait.

But it’s gonna be an abrupt-as-hell turn to the Pat Fitzgerald Super Bowl, where I’m biting the bullet so the rest of you don’t have to “Watch That” with Iowa and Northwestern—on ESPN, of all places. I just wanted to watch the ‘Cats and Hawkeyes run the ball so often the game takes just 2:15, set up a bonfire in my driveway, and start PVC-piping candy to little kids at about 5pm.

Instead, I’m going to be throwing rocks at them while screaming at Fitz.

Can’t wait.

Finally, we turn to Division II, where Pittsburg State hosts Nebraska-Kearney for some unbeknownst fucking reason.

1. Amazing nicknames.
2. WHAT ABOUT THIS SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA TO THESE FUCKING STATES

Kinda wish John Brown would’ve been even more successful at Pottawatomie Creek.

Saturday Evening

Don’t Watch This

#3 Ohio State Buckeyes (-11.5, O/U 64.5) at #18 Penn State Nittany Lions [6:30pm, ABC]
#25 Boise State Broncos (-14, O/U 49) at Air Force Falcons [5pm, CBSSN]
Mississippi State Bulldogs at #2 Alabama Crimson Tide (-30.5, O/U 64) [6pm, ESPN]
Charlotte 49ers at Duke Blue Devils (-9.5, O/U 56) [6pm, ESPN3]
Arkansas Razorbacks at #8 Texas A&M Aggies (-12.5, O/U 54.5) [6:30pm, SECN]
Missouri Tigers at #10 Florida Gators (-13, O/U 61.5) [6:30pm, SECN Alt]
#15 North Carolina Tar Heels (-7, O/U 61.5) at Virginia Cavaliers [7pm, ACCN]
#24 Oklahoma Sooners (-14, O/U 68) at Texas Tech Red Raiders [7pm, FOX]
Louisiana Ragin’ Cajuns (-16.5, O/U 55.5) at Texas State Bobcats [7pm, ESPNU]

{MLS} Nashville SC vs. Chicago Fire [7:30pm, ESPN+]

Watch That

New Mexico Lobos at San Jose State Spartans

6pm | FS1 | SJSU -13.5 | O/U 58.5

Navy Midshipmen at #22 SMU Mustangs

6:30pm | SMU -13 | O/U 58.5

New Mexico, having finally rid itself of walking The Villages advertisement Bob Davie, turns to Lobos alum (safety and punter) Danny Gonzales to reverse course in Albuquerque. The former DC for Herm Edwards at Arizona State...has a shot? Gonzales is vowing to speed up and spread out the Lobos’ offense with QB Tevaka Tuioti, and San Jose State was so much of a trainwreck last week in its eventual 17-6 win over Air Force—a delightful 0-0 halftime score which the Spartan helmet ruins from it being AF00SJ—that this has to be good.

It just has to be.

Because nothing good can come out of OSU-PSU.

It’s Late and I’m Drunk...

Don’t Watch This

San Diego State Aztecs (-7.5, O/U 43.5) at Utah State Aggies [8:30pm, CBSSN]
Western Kentucky Hilltoppers at BYU Cougars (-29, O/U 52.5) [9:15pm, ESPN]

Watch That

Nevada Wolf Pack at UNLV Rebels

9:30pm | FS1 | NV -14 | O/U 60

{Liga MX} Monterrey vs. Cruz Azul

10pm | FS2

FREMONT CANNON.

UNLV

That’s right, you get ALL THE CANNONS today. This is the most expensive trophy in college sports—one that Chris Ault once convinced McCarran International Security to let the team dissassemble and carry onto a fucking plane.

But let’s check in on the last time these two played, from all angles:

UNLV HC Marcus Arroyo can claim this isn’t what it all comes down to alllllll he wants. Never mind that UNLV looked godawful in a road loss to San Diego State—played out in Carson, CA—last week. When the Cannon’s on the line, shit’s gonna get assy.

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Here’s your open thread for Thursday and maybe Friday night. Enjoy the games, everybody.