The Weekly Mailbag is mailing it in a bit. Again.

Good morning. Everything is still dumb. I don’t get to watch Minnesota-wisconsin today, Illinois fans don’t get to drink heavily and cover their eyes to avoid watching the carnage, and Nebraska got to play. It gets old really fast, doesn’t it?

Good luck today. Have fun if you can, do something that brings joy, and just keep hanging in there. We’ll get through this together, and then we can go back to what’s really important: making jokes about everyone in the orbit of the University of wisconsin being terrible.

Which of these schools are is most looking forward to it being basketball season so they can ignore football? - He was a high school quarterback

Dead Read: Nebraska.

Candystripes: Michigan State, who may or may not already be doing this.

Beez: Surprisingly the answer is Penn State.

Stew: Is or should? Because IS is probably Purdue fans, because they’re weird and dum like that. Should is definitely Michigan State.

BoilerBettor: I’m gonna go with Rutgers. And David Bell just got open on Iowa’s secondary...again.

MNW: Would’ve been Penn State, but...dear God, does anyone want to watch that program now? I mean, no one did to begin with, but…

...if brief looks at our friends across the B1G SBNation landscape says anything, it’s probably Maryland, especially because two weeks with no games allowed them to pivot like normal. But with bowl eligibility still on the line, maybe not?

Michigan basketball fans only exist when the NCAA Tournament rolls around, so not them.

Instead, I’m surprised no one’s mentioned the #8 Illinois Fighting Illini! Lovie is giving them nothing to cheer for, but Brad Underwood—who no Illini fans have ever wanted fired, no sir—has a squad this year!

WSR: I mean, I kinda am. Football season is my favorite, but there’s something fun about watching Gophers basketball play. Even when they’re not good, there’s something that’s just fun about a trip to Williams Arena (and not just watching opposing players fall off the raised court). With this year being stupid as hell, I hope teh team’s fun since I can’t make the trip to the Barn.

Will Karma give Penn State the 2-year death penalty the NCAA should have given it in 2012?

If not, is that further evidence that we live in a cruel, uncaring world? - Runza Damn Ball! Or pass it. Whtvr wrks.

https://media1.tenor.com/images/98332123248cefaa291bceff0220d614/tenor.gif?itemid=12377495

Beez: I have no substantive response, but can a death penalty be only a two-year thing? Isn’t it supposed to kill you?

Stew: Two year? No. Also, it’s still not near a death penalty. As a death penalty is a 5 year rebuild, at least because of scholarship and recruiting restrictions on a per year basis. Is going winless still super hilarious and righteous, though? Definitely.

Thumpasaurus: A death penalty basically means “you are now Illinois when they have to change coaches”

WSR: No. There’s too much talent there for them to be down for too long. As I said before the season, there’d be a transition period with Ciarrocca coming in and getting everyone used to what he does. COVID ruined that and now we’re seeing the most extreme version of what can go wrong.

Who are the 2021-2022 season heisman favorites and why is it a list with Dylan Penix 5 times? - 87 Rides A Surfboard

Candystripes: Oh, that’s where I put my 2021 Heisman contenders list. Thanks for finding it!

Beez: Uhhhhhhh can we go with Fryfogle?

BoilerBettor: Penix is transferring to Alabama?

MNW: Oh it’s clearly Peyton Ramsey.

No, I haven’t been drinking. How DARE you.

WSR: Screw you guys, it’s Mo Ibrahim.

Based on Indiana’s performance against OSU, Will NU perform better or worse against OSU than the 2018 CCG? - 600LincolnNotElder

Beez: Worse. Way, way, way worse.

Stew: Definitely worse, over all. jNW will probably allow fewer points, but the game will be much uglier, and OSU will be far more points.

Thumpasaurus: The same. Fitzgerald will be pleased.

MNW: Probably about the same. 45-21. Whatever.

WSR: Oh, it’ll be worse. Northwestern’s offense is the worst in the B1G this year at moving the ball, and that’s the one thing that you can use to attack this Buckeyes team. The Cats are just a speedbumb, assuming that Michigan doesn’t have a COVID party.

If one Big Ten athletic department HAD to get rid of football forever and ever tomorrow, which school should be the one to axe it? - BRT

Beez: Maryland is the logical choice, right? If not them, gotta go with Northwestern They must be defeated.

BoilerBettor: Purdue already tried with Darrell Hazell. However, the answer has to be Rutgers.

WSR: Look, it went so well for the University of Chicago, we should just go ahead and kill another Chicago B1G Football team and put the pillow over Illinois.

“Give me one Big Ten storyline that hasn’t been talked about enough this fall” —MNW

Beez: Wide receiver depth throughout the conference. Good Iowa punting. Relatives of Barry Alvarez whoh play(ed) for Wisconsin.

Thumpasaurus: Wisconsin infected Illinois with COVID during a game. I feel like this is a way underrated storyline.

MNW: Did we enjoy all those non-revenue sports? Really glad this pandemic affected all athletes equally.

WSR: Y’all did a great job, so I don’t have much to add. But how about just how much fans mean to the game experience. There have been some really really flat performances this year from home teams. And just how shit Scott Frost is as a head coach.