Well howdy! I hope you all survived Christmas and are getting ready to throw 2020 out the door like an old Christmas tree. We’ve just about made it!
As you slog your way through another 3 day work week, here’s our mailbag responses. Good luck, and let’s make 2021 what we hoped 2020 could have been.
Favorite James Bond movies? - Pkloa
BoilerBettor: Any of the Connery movies.
Jesse: I want my bond movies to be ridiculous, over-the-top, etc. It’s why Brosnan-era was my favorite. He’s the MOST ridiculous version of Bond - and probably the least believable - but I loved the absurdity of him being this super spy. Plus, you know, N64 Goldeneye sorta cemented that era into my brain whether I like it or not.
Beez: Goldeneye for N64
Candystripes: Oddly, I haven’t seen that many Bond films, but I’ve heard a lot more Bond theme songs. On the basis that I haven’t seen many, I guess Casino Royale is my favorite. Favorite theme, though, is a tie between Skyfall and Goldeneye, with Live and Let Die a close 3rd.
pkloa: Goldfinger, From Russia With Love, and Casino Royale are my favorites. For the obligatory hipster selection, Timothy Dalton’s The Living Daylights was the best one since You Only Live Twice.
MNW: The Living Daylights for me. Probably because it’s the only one I really recall ever watching.
WSR: You Only Live Twice. Is it problematic? Yes, yes it is. Just like every Connery Bond movie. But it’s just fun. And the scene with Lil Nellie is just over the top stupid and fun. The Moore movies were always fun, but I just feel like he was too old for the role at the time. If you could take The Saint-era Roger Moore, he would have been perfect. And by the way, find The Saint on whichever streaming service it’s on and watch it. Absolutely wonderful stuff.
What is the best thing you watched this year and why is it The History of the Seattle Mariners? - LL Sota
BoilerBettor: You’ve got issues. Seriously, get some help.
Honestly, between my 3 and 7 year old children, I don’t get to watch much unless it’s sports. Basically, anything that isn’t on Disney or Nick is a winner for me.
Jesse: So uh, not unlike my friend Mr. Bettor, most of my media consumption has been children’s shows. That said, I’ve easily boiled down my favorites to “DuckTales” and “Teen Titans”. If forced to choose a specific episode in that grouping, give me the Freakazoid Teen Titans episode because Freakazoid.
As for actual best television, Better Call Saul Season 5 was spectacular. It’s a slower show than Breaking Bad, but it’s great development and almost perfect casting. For a show that isn’t really an ‘unknown’ ending, it’s so good.
Beez: Most of the episodes of Lovecraft Country were phenomenal
Candystripes: Does 20020 count as watching or reading? Because, uh…..that.
pkloa: For TV, Bojack Horseman was fantastic through its final stretch. The Boys season 2 was also great.
Going through imdb and Rotten Tomatoes, I realized I have not seen too many new movies. I thought Uncle Frank was good, but I suppose Borat Moviefilm takes the crown.
WSR: I dunno. I just started Schitt’s Creek recently, and the same person that got me to watch that also got me to watch Sherlock. Both have been quite fun. I found out that my new TV has a dedicated MST3K channel that’s on 24 hours a day, and that’s been blissful. The problem is that 2020 has been the longest decade of my life and I can barely remember from March to July. Just a damn blur.
Which B1G team will benefit the most from the “extra” year of eligibility that players can choose to take? - PrairieDogSharpshooter
Jesse: I SWEAR TO GOD IF PADDY FISHER STAYS FOR ANOTHER YEAR I’M GONNA LOSE MY MIND. But, uh, I dunno. Probably someone like Illinois because it means you have the chance to have some stability at the top in excess of whatever ‘saved’ recruiting class you’re dealing with. It’s not a bad deal.
Candystripes: Depending on who takes the year, it could very well be Indiana. I for one fervently hope that most if not all of this year’s team wants to run it back and take one more swing at doing something (or somethings) Indiana football has never done.
Beez: This question is very obviously a trick to get us to do like 3 hours of research.
pkloa: I have no clue, but I would like to recommend adding a “C” modifier when discussing student eligibility. For example, a freshman who redshirted 2019 and did not lose a year for 2020 because of COVID is a CRSFr for 2021 and has eligibility through 2024.
MNW: I like pkloa’s proposal, if just because I want to imagine seeing a covid redshirt punt returner listed as a CRSPR and laugh and tap my nose like I have any idea what that actually means in science terms.
I will posit that QB Peyton Ramsey and TE John Raine sticking around at Northwestern will make the ‘Cats offense go again in 2021, but like beez and Candy, I will not be bothered to do the research or think about this in some measured way. Northwestern, 2021 Big Ten West champs, you heard it here first. (Well no, I’m fairly sure some of our irregular commenters have already made that claim, but I’m here year-round win-or-lose, so I get the cred, right?)
Fitz: staying or leaving? - NUDave
BoilerBettor: I can’t decide if Fitz to Da Bears is a thing or not. Honestly, I hope it doesn’t happen but it would be very par for the Mccaskey family to do it.
Jesse: He should stay because like, he has the best situation in football (outside the part where even if Northwestern is good, they’re laughed at because Northwestern). But the expectation is to win more than you lose, compete every once in a while, and just contain the bad seasons to 1-2 years at a time. It’s his alma mater, and he has amazing financial support. Leaving that doesn’t make sense to me, but stranger stuff has happened I guess.
MNW: Staying and I’m certainly an objective figure, yessir, thank you.
In all honesty? If Fitz went to the Bears I would feel miles better about the Vikings and Kork fucking Coupons’ ability to beat them. Fitz would have to find new coordinators and not rely on the longevity and experience of someone like Mike Hankwitz...or that’s how you wind up with Norv Turner, Chicago Bears OC.
And if I had to have the anchor of my collegiate football program pulled up like that, the lols that would ensue in Chicago would almost be worth it.
WSR: He should go. He’s got no personality, minimal charisma used only when trying to get something out of the media, a contempt for his players as anything more than disposable pieces. Shit, he’s also averse to offensive football and has a closet full of purple.
Are we sure that Pat Fitzgerald isn’t already coaching the Vikings in disguise?
Which Big Ten team’s bowl ends up causing the biggest superspreader event? - Stormy Dragon
BoilerBettor: Well, this got dark. And the correct answer is WisCovid.
Jesse: It’s uh, well, it’s gotta be the OSU-Clemson game. Two schools who have had outbreaks, in a game that fans will most assuredly travel to, in a stadium and city that isn’t exactly doing fantastic, with at least one coach who I’m pretty sure doesn’t believe in any of this. So yeah, let’s go with that.
Beez: I’m not comfortable putting any bets on this. But the answer is Iowa’s bowl or anyone who’s playing in Tennessee.
MNW: Fortunately, now that Iowa-Mizzou is off, that’s less likely.
But the answer, like Jesse said, was always Ohio State-Clemson. Given some of the lovely communication I’ve received from Buckeyes fans this fall, ol’ Bucknutz ain’t taking this seriously, and even grading on the curve that is “South Carolina” my hopes aren’t high for Clempsun fans.
WSR: Yeah, it was Iowa. Once the season was over the Hawkeyes players would let their guard down and finally be subjected to COVID. It was a medical miracle that they made it through the season, and I’m sure the local media was all over it reporting and covering questionable actions by Ferentz & Co like they always do.
Which teams were most aberrant this year, and will therefore be most likely to turn it around/fall back to earth in 2021? - LandOfSkyBlueWaterGophers
Jesse: Northwestern is officially an even year team, so that’s a thing. Um, I need to look at rosters, but I’m also assuming Penn State is better than their record showed throughout the year.
Beez: These feel like two very different questions, to be honest. Northwestern seemed most “aberrant,” but I think Wisconsin and Penn State are the most likely to turn it around and/or have wildly different outcomes than this past season. Indiana and NW seem the obvious choices to fall back to earth, but I’m not sure it’ll be all that dramatic.
MNW: I don’t know that we’ll even be able to count 2021 as a “real” season at this rate — we’re counting on players getting vaccinated and campuses opening up fully and the public being able to fill stadiums again. I’m honestly not optimistic at this point that 2021 will proceed as normal...and if it doesn’t, you’re looking at division champion Northwestern again.
WSR: It’s Penn State, right? We all know that Northwestern just plays muckball and drags everyone down to their level and someone gets lucky in certain years. The only other outlier from normal is Indiana, and I don’t want to take away joy from anyone that deserves it this year.
Does your team’s head football coach have a calf tattoo of your most hated rival’s mascot? - He was a high school quarterback (WSR Addendum - if your coach did have a tattoo, what would it be?)
Jesse: Still funny, and still no… And uh, if Frost did have a calf tattoo, it’s 1000% going to be something real dumb like an american flag or like something to do with determination and grit or whatever. I dunno. I’m bad at this game.
MNW: I really wish Fitz would’ve had a 2005 World Series Champs tattoo somewhere on him when he would’ve thrown out a first pitch at Wrigley.
Candystripes: Odds of Tom Allen having any Purdue symbol tattooed on him: 0%. Odds of Tom Allen having LEO tattooed on him (if not now, someday): >10%.
pkloa: How does one get a tattoo of nothing?
WSR: You know it’s a can of Red Bull personified to be holding a cup of coffee.
Best James Bond?
This poll is closed
YOU GODDAMN FOOLS! IT’S DAVID NIVEN BECAUSE HE’S PERFECT IN EVERYTHING HE DID!