Alright listen up, I’m going to be kind of surly on here this week. We can’t go anywhere or do anything fun, we’ve got a
half quarter-assed football season that’s not even pretending to be legitimate, and since joy is against the laws of the natural universe now we can’t even tailgate any of the games that make up this low-res facsimile of a football season.
Welcome back to WWBWWBD: The weekly segment where in the beforetimes we talked about tailgating and barbecuing with friends (lol remember friends?). Nowadays we just toil around at home and day drink with the TV on. Ok I’ll go first:
I’m stuck at home because people keep going to restaurants and weddings. Beverages will be High Life and Laphroaig Quarter Cask, which sound like they probably shouldn’t go together. Food will be Cinnamon Toast Crunch. After football I plan on watching the extended editions of the 4K Blu Ray release of Lord of the Rings that just came out this week. Pants will not be worn one time this weekend. Listen everyone, we only have a few weeks left of this year so let’s just embrace the chaos.
Candystripes for Breakfast
Mid-afternoon kickoff means I’ll catch the first part of IU-Wisconsin at home, then off to work for the finish and the rest of the evening games.
*scrolls up, copies, pastes *
*scrolls up * * copies pastes *
*scrolls up * *copy +paste *
I’ll be at home with my family. Like I am. Nearly every hour of every day.
I’ve got a few crowler groupons burning a hole in my pocket, so on Friday it’s off to Bent Brewstillery for some Snaquiri (hazy daquiri-style sour) and Maroon and Bold (DDH IPA) and Tin Whiskers for, if they have it, a Nut Goodie Porter. God bless St. Paul, the better of the Twin Cities.
Oh right, gameday? Tree hunting! The wife and I will be stomping around the greater Elk River area on Saturday morning, saw in hand, ready to claim a fresh short-needle tree for the living room. After that it’s Christmas music, spiked egg nog, the cat batting at ornaments, and maybe firing up the grill for some burgers, since Northwestern doesn’t play and I can spend a stress-free Saturday just being happy. Feels weird.
Travelling back overseas after a few nice weeks around the family. Spent this past week learning how to be an adult, since my military career is coming to a close, so I’ll be drinking coffee and working my “resumé” on the plane ride. Be like MNW and connect with me on LinkedIn.
Home. Maybe a beer. Meh.
Beautiful downtown Lincoln. Blah.
I’m gonna be in my stupid shitty little house with the single comically undersized bathroom and the wild variation in temperature from room to room and the stupid fucking layout that makes it more of a maze than a home with this detached garage that you can juuuuuuuuuust barely get two cars inside but only with some extremely precise maneuvering. Probably gonna pick up a stupid fucking box of pinot grigio or merlot depending on what variation on “shitty” my mood is when I hit the grocery store on Friday. gonna have my one dog trying to stand on my nuts until I decide to let them outside, where the other one will then ignore every fucking word i say. maybe I’ll make some chili. What’s more likely is that I’ll just, like, grab some frozen pizza or something and make that, and then ignore my friends even though I’m deeply fucking lonely at this moment. I have no idea how I’m going to survive Gray Season in Michigan this time.
I dunno. Somewhere in the Twin Cities. It all depends on what the girls want to do, since yet again there’s no Gopher football.
WSR and I would’ve been tailgating out on the Flats or in my backyard and watching this at a safe distance while throwing Grain Belt cans at one another. WEAR A FUCKING MASK SO WE CAN DO THAT. Goddamnit.
Yup. Trust science, you fucking lackwits.
Ok that’s it for us. I’m not writing something cute here this week, so if you’re doing something this weekend that doesn’t suck head down to the comments and let us know. Or even if it does suck, I guess I don’t really care.