7. W, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 41-14 (12/11/11, at Jacksonville)
6. W, Indianapolis Colts, 19-13 (1/1/11, at Jacksonville)
Hey, a coach that wins games at home! That’s good, right?
I didn’t actually plan to rank Tucker’s two NFL wins (he was 2-3) as the worst two wins, but 2011 Tampa lost its last 10 straight games, and this was the Indy team that went 0-13, won two games, then lost to Jacksonville. So this game gets the nod over Tampa because Tucket beat a team that was on a two-game winning streak.
5. W, Stanford Cardinal, 16-13 (11/9/19, at Folsom Prison)
4. W, vs. Colorado State Rams, 52-31 (8/30/19, at Mile High Empowered Water in the Rocky Mountain Oyster Battle Royale)
Wins rivalry games against G5 opponents! That’s good! Dantonio lost that one game to Dan LeFevour or whatever, so, uh
3. W, Washington Huskies, 20-14 (11/23/19, at Folsom Prison)
Beating less-than-impressive, formerly-ranked opponents at home. You’re ready for Iowa, Mel.
2. W, at #24 Arizona State Sun Devils, 34-31 (9/21/19, at Sun Devil Stadium)D
ALREADY AN IMPROVEMENT OVER THE LAST GUY.
1. W, then-#25 Nebraska Cornhuskers, 34-31 (OT) (9/7/19, at Folsom Prison)
Yeah, you’re gonna fit in just fine here, Mel.