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The Big Game: Can MNW do a good SEO? Nope! Open Thread.

plus all the big ten players in the big game

NCAA FOOTBALL: SEP 20 Southern Illinois at Purdue
Photo by Zach Bolinger/Icon Sportswire/Corbis/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

This is a The Big Game blog.

The Big Game starts at 5:30pm CT. You already knew that, but the roles of SEO and content-making dictate that I have to tell you that. If you clicked here to learn that, what the hell is the matter with you? This is a Big Ten football blog!

now go away or i shall taunt you for not punting from your opponent’s 38 yard-line

Some people in The Big Game went to Big Ten schools. In keeping with the idea of this being, nominally, a Big Ten football blog and also because you might have heard we care immensely about SEO and PPC and REM and OAR and N*SYNC and whoever else was in that law firm from Parks and Rec, here they are:

Red and Gold team:

  • C.J. Beathard (Iowa Hawkeyes)
  • Nick Bosa (more like Nick Gross-a)
  • Tevin Coleman (Indiana Hoosiers)
  • Kevin Givens (Penn State Nittany Lions)
  • Robbie Gould (also Penn State)
  • Kyle Juszczyk (Harvard Crimson, which is not in the Big Ten but otherwise the announcers certainly won’t make mention of this fact, not even once)
  • George Kittle (also misused at Iowa)
  • Raheem Mostert (Purdue Boilermakers, a fact I did not learn until two days ago)
  • Jaquiski Tartt (Samford, just has a great name)
  • Anthony Zettel (Penn State, too)
  • Garrett Celek (Michigan State Spartans, is injured)
  • Ross Reynolds (Iowa, practice squad)
  • Jacob Thieneman (allegedly Purdue, practice squad)

Iowa St. Cyclones-colored team:

  • Nick Allegretti (Illinois Fighting Illini, really?)
  • Frank Clark (Michigan Wolverines, good for them, about time things looked up)
  • Laurent Duvernay-Tardif (McGill Redmen, the first team ever to play a college football game)
  • Chad Henne (no way, you’re actually fucking kidding me)
  • Anthony Hitchens (seriously, Iowa should’ve at least won a Big Ten championship or a Rose Bowl with all these players it’s almost like they’re being underused at Iowa or something)
  • Darron Lee (an Ohio State Buckeye!)
  • Jordan Lucas (Penn State, could not tell you who this is)
  • Ben Niemann (another Iowa are you serious)
  • Damien Wilson (Minnesota Golden Gophers, good for them)
  • Stefen Wisniewski (Penn State, huh)
  • Felton Davis III (Michigan State, reserve or something)
  • Mike Weber (also Ohio State)

I would count up how many players here are on Big Ten teams, but I honestly can’t count that high and you don’t really care anyways. Count them and put it in the comments and I’ll add it and credit you.

You might also read a clickbaity article later on some Iowa graduate being better than Tom Brady or a Michigan State quarterback never winning a Superb Owl. I’m sorry.

San Francisco 49ers vs. Kansas City Chiefs
5:30pm | FOX | somebody -1 | O/U 54 as several places have told me that is for some reason an important number for football porpoises

tell me your favorite recipe in the comments as i, a bad friend, have still not come up with a food to bring over to a The Big Game party