I love college football and I love looking at maps. But the messiness of college conferences drives me bonkers. With a complicated* set of ironclad** rules my aim is to make FBS college football perfectly*** organized.
Rule 1: 12 teams per conference. 12 is the perfect number of teams. You can have an 8 game conference schedule, a championship game, and still play every team every other year.
Rule 2: No protected cross division rivals. They ruin the whole "play every team every other year" thing.
Rule 3: Everyone gets a rival. Ohana means family and family means no one doesn't have someone to squabble with.
Rule 4: Contiguity is cool and should be adhered to whenever possible.
Rule 5: I reserve the right to be as petty as I want. Does it make any sense for the ACC to kick out Boston College for UConn? No. But I like UConn more so it's gon happen.
Nebraska vs Iowa, Minnesota vs Wisconsin, Illinois vs Northwestern, Indiana vs Purdue, Michigan vs OSU, MSU vs PSU
No explanation needed. The old school (2011) B1G, but nicely organized by time zones.
In: New Mexico
North: No change
Utah gets demoted because screw em. New Mexico takes their place because I like em and Colorado needs a rival.
North: UConn, Syracuse, Rutgers, Maryland, Pitt, West Virginia
Rivalry Week: UConn vs Rutgers, West Virginia vs Maryland, Pitt vs Syracuse, Virginia Tech vs Virginia, NC State vs ?, Georgia Tech vs Georgia, UCF vs Miami
This is where it gets interesting. UNC, Boston College, and Duke are out because screw em. Louisville is out because they are too far west. Florida State and Clemson go to the SEC East . Now we can get Bama/Clemson out of the way early. NC State is a lonely Carolina to balance the divisions. UCF steps up. They earned it.
In: Clemson, Florida State
West: Texas A&M, LSU, Mississippi State, Alabama, Auburn, Georgia
East: Kentucky, Tennessee, SCar, Clemson, Florida, Florida State
Rivalry Week: TAMU vs LSU, Alabama vs Auburn, Mississippi State vs ?, SCar vs Clemson, Kentucky vs Tennessee, Florida State vs Florida
The Ole Miss Athletic Department gets completely dissolved because they lost the Civil War.
With Florida State and Clemson in the fold, the SEC has consolidated all the most hateable programs in the region. Only one of them can win.
Out: West Virginia, Baylor (RIP)
In: Houston, Colorado State, South Dakota State, Missouri
Rivalry Week: SDSU vs ISU, Kansas vs Missouri, KSU vs CSU, OSU vs Oklahoma, Texas Tech vs Texas, TCU vs Houston
Baylor's AD is dissolved because evil. Houston takes their spot. Missouri comes crawling back. South Dakota State replaces the dearly missed Nebraska and gives Minnesota a fun out of conference rival. Colorado State getting Colorado's sloppy seconds gives the Rocky Mountain Showdown extra spice.
Eastside Conference (New)
+ Notre Dame - Army and Navy for non football sports
Rivalry Week: Boston College vs UMass, Army vs Navy, Buffalo vs Temple, Cincinnati vs Louisville, Memphis vs Vanderbilt, Marshall vs East Carolina
All the leftover Northeasterly teams make a fun conference. Vandy and Louisville schedule Tennessee and Kentucky earlier so everybody gets a rival.
In: Northern Iowa
Rivalry Week: Northern Illinois vs Northern Iowa, BallS tate vs rotating directional Michigan, Western Michigan vs BSU/RDM, Central Michigan vs BSU/RDM, Eastern Michigan vs BSU/RDM, Toledo vs Bowling Green, Kent State vs Akron, Miami vs Ohio
Buffalo gets replaced with the Panthers so Toledo can move East and avoid a cross division rivalry. The Directional Michigans take turns with Northern Iowa.
Out: Temple, Navy, East Carolina, UCF, Houston, Memphis, Cincinnati
In: Arkansas, Louisiana Tech, Southern Mississippi, Duke, North Carolina, Western Kentucky, UAB, Middle Tennessee State
East: UAB, MTSU, North Carolina, Duke, Western Kentucky, South Florida
Rivalry Week: Tulsa vs Arkansas, SMU vs LA Tech, Tulane vs Southern Miss, Middle Tennessee vs Western Kentucky, North Carolina vs Duke, UAB vs USF
The AAC raids Conference USA and comes out with a super fun conference. The Duke and UNC land here.
In: Montana, Idaho, ScrUtah, Northern Arizona
West: No Change
Mountain: Idaho, Boise State, Utah State, Utah, Northern Arizona, Montana R
New Mexico and Colorado State leave for greener pastures. Utah comes crawling back. Wyoming and Air Force get kicked out for being too far East. Idaho gets promoted because they were recently FBS. Montana gets promoted on merit, and Northern Arizona gets promoted because it's the closest CFB stadium to my house, go Lumberjacks! Also NAU and UNLV play for the Hoover Dam trophy now.
North: Delaware, Old Dominion, Appalachian State, Wake Forest, Charlotte, Coastal Carolina
South: Georgia State, Georgia Southern, FAU, FIU, Troy, South Alabama
Rivalry Week: Delaware vs ODU, App State vs Wake Forest, Charlotte vs Coastal Carolina, Georgia State vs Georgia Southern, FIU vs FAU, Troy vs South Alabama
All the remaining Eastern teams go here. The Delaware Blue Hens get to step up. Wake Forest has to step down to here.
Out: Southern Mississippi, UAB, Louisiana Tech, the entire East Division
In: Wyoming, Air Force, New Mexico State, Texas State, Louisiana Lafayette, Louisiana Monroe, Arkansas State, Missouri State
West: Wyoming, Air Force, NMSU, UTEP, UTSA, Texas State
Rivalry Week: Wyoming vs Air Force, NMSU vs UTEP, Texas State vs UTSA, North Texas vs Rice, UL-L vs ULM, Missouri State vs Arkansas State
Took the C-USA Texas nucleus and added on the edges. This conference would be very fun. A lot better rivalry's and less travel costs than the actual C-USA
Independents: Notre Dame, BYU
Dissolved programs: Ole Miss, Baylor, Liberty, North Dakota
FCS programs added: South Dakota State, Northern Arizona, Montana, Idaho, Northern Iowa, Delaware, Missouri State
Now NCAA Football just needs to come back so I can make this.
Update: I figured out how to move Florida State to the SEC. If Georgia moves to the West division FSU can slide into the SEC East. This would mean North Carolina and Wake Forest move to the AAC. Appalachian State moves to the Sun Coast.
Update 2: Virginia and East Carolina have switched places. Virginia is back in the ACC and East Carolina has moved to the Eastside.
Update 3: I moved UMass to the Eastside, Duke to the AAC, Georgia State back to the Sun Belt, and Swapped New Hampshire for UT-Chattanooga. I do this in my head when I'm bored.
Update 4: Last change, I promise. Northern Iowa to the MAC, Western Kentucky to the AAC, Wake Forest to the Sun Belt, and Chattanooga back to FCS.
[As always, this is a FanPost and not an editorial position of Off Tackle Empire dot com. If you take things like this seriously in the first place, you are an idiot who should take a good, long, hard look in the mirror and reconsider all your life choices that led to this moment. Thanks to LL Sota for indulging himself (and us) with this whimsical look at college football realignment. --Management]