I love college football and I love looking at maps. But the messiness of college conferences drives me bonkers. With a complicated* set of ironclad** rules my aim is to make FBS college football perfectly*** organized.

Rule 1: 12 teams per conference. 12 is the perfect number of teams. You can have an 8 game conference schedule, a championship game, and still play every team every other year.

Rule 2: No protected cross division rivals. They ruin the whole "play every team every other year" thing.

Rule 3: Everyone gets a rival. Ohana means family and family means no one doesn't have someone to squabble with.

Rule 4: Contiguity is cool and should be adhered to whenever possible.

Rule 5: I reserve the right to be as petty as I want. Does it make any sense for the ACC to kick out Boston College for UConn? No. But I like UConn more so it's gon happen.

B1G

Out: Maryland, Rutgers

West: Nebraska, Iowa, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Northwestern, Illinois
East: Purdue, Indiana, Michigan State, Michigan, Ohio State, Penn State

Rivalry Week:
Nebraska vs Iowa, Minnesota vs Wisconsin, Illinois vs Northwestern, Indiana vs Purdue, Michigan vs OSU, MSU vs PSU

No explanation needed. The old school (2011) B1G, but nicely organized by time zones.

PAC-12

Out: ScrUtah

In: New Mexico

North: No change

South: UCLA, USC, Arizona State, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado

Rivalry Week: Washington vs Washington State, Oregon State vs Oregon, California vs Stanford, UCLA vs USC, Arizona State vs Arizona, New Mexico vs Colorado

Utah gets demoted because screw em. New Mexico takes their place because I like em and Colorado needs a rival.

ACC

Out: North Carolina, Duke, Boston College, Florida State, Wake Forest, Clemson, Louisville

In: Rutgers, Maryland, UConn, West Virginia, East, UCF

North: UConn, Syracuse, Rutgers, Maryland, Pitt, West Virginia

South: Virginia Tech, Virginia, North Carolina State, Georgia Tech, UCF, Miami

Rivalry Week: UConn vs Rutgers, West Virginia vs Maryland, Pitt vs Syracuse, Virginia Tech vs Virginia, NC State vs ?, Georgia Tech vs Georgia, UCF vs Miami

This is where it gets interesting. UNC, Boston College, and Duke are out because screw em. Louisville is out because they are too far west. Florida State and Clemson go to the SEC East . Now we can get Bama/Clemson out of the way early. NC State is a lonely Carolina to balance the divisions. UCF steps up. They earned it.

SEC

Out: Missouri, Arkansas, Vanderbilt, Ole Miss (RIP)

In: Clemson, Florida State

West: Texas A&M, LSU, Mississippi State, Alabama, Auburn, Georgia

East: Kentucky, Tennessee, SCar, Clemson, Florida, Florida State

Rivalry Week: TAMU vs LSU, Alabama vs Auburn, Mississippi State vs ?, SCar vs Clemson, Kentucky vs Tennessee, Florida State vs Florida

The Ole Miss Athletic Department gets completely dissolved because they lost the Civil War.

With Florida State and Clemson in the fold, the SEC has consolidated all the most hateable programs in the region. Only one of them can win.

Big XII

Out: West Virginia, Baylor (RIP)

In: Houston, Colorado State, South Dakota State, Missouri

North: SDSU, Iowa State, Missouri, Kansas, Kansas State, Colorado State

South: Oklahoma State, Oklahoma, Texas Tech, TCU, Texas, Houston

Rivalry Week: SDSU vs ISU, Kansas vs Missouri, KSU vs CSU, OSU vs Oklahoma, Texas Tech vs Texas, TCU vs Houston

Baylor's AD is dissolved because evil. Houston takes their spot. Missouri comes crawling back. South Dakota State replaces the dearly missed Nebraska and gives Minnesota a fun out of conference rival. Colorado State getting Colorado's sloppy seconds gives the Rocky Mountain Showdown extra spice.

Eastside Conference (New)

North: Boston College, UMass, Temple, Buffalo Army, Navy,

South: Cincinnati, Louisville, Memphis, Vanderbilt, Marshall, East Carolina

+ Notre Dame - Army and Navy for non football sports

Rivalry Week: Boston College vs UMass, Army vs Navy, Buffalo vs Temple, Cincinnati vs Louisville, Memphis vs Vanderbilt, Marshall vs East Carolina

All the leftover Northeasterly teams make a fun conference. Vandy and Louisville schedule Tennessee and Kentucky earlier so everybody gets a rival.

MAC

Out: Buffalo

In: Northern Iowa

West: Northern Illinois, Northern Iowa, Balls Tate, Western Michigan, Central Michigan, Eastern Michigan

Ohio: Toledo Rockets, Bowling Green, Miami-Ohio, Ohio, Akron, Kent State

Rivalry Week: Northern Illinois vs Northern Iowa, BallS tate vs rotating directional Michigan, Western Michigan vs BSU/RDM, Central Michigan vs BSU/RDM, Eastern Michigan vs BSU/RDM, Toledo vs Bowling Green, Kent State vs Akron, Miami vs Ohio

Buffalo gets replaced with the Panthers so Toledo can move East and avoid a cross division rivalry. The Directional Michigans take turns with Northern Iowa.

AAC

Out: Temple, Navy, East Carolina, UCF, Houston, Memphis, Cincinnati

In: Arkansas, Louisiana Tech, Southern Mississippi, Duke, North Carolina, Western Kentucky, UAB, Middle Tennessee State

West: Tulsa, Arkansas, SMU, Louisiana Tech, Tulane, Southern Mississippi

East: UAB, MTSU, North Carolina, Duke, Western Kentucky, South Florida

Rivalry Week: Tulsa vs Arkansas, SMU vs LA Tech, Tulane vs Southern Miss, Middle Tennessee vs Western Kentucky, North Carolina vs Duke, UAB vs USF

The AAC raids Conference USA and comes out with a super fun conference. The Duke and UNC land here.

Mountain West

Out: Wyoming, Colorado State, Air Force, New Mexico

In: Montana, Idaho, ScrUtah, Northern Arizona

West: No Change

Mountain: Idaho, Boise State, Utah State, Utah, Northern Arizona, Montana R

Rivalry Week: Hawaii vs San Diego State, Fresno State vs San Jose State, Nevada vs UNLV, Idaho vs Boise State, Utah State vs Utah, NAU vs Montana

New Mexico and Colorado State leave for greener pastures. Utah comes crawling back. Wyoming and Air Force get kicked out for being too far East. Idaho gets promoted because they were recently FBS. Montana gets promoted on merit, and Northern Arizona gets promoted because it's the closest CFB stadium to my house, go Lumberjacks! Also NAU and UNLV play for the Hoover Dam trophy now.

Sun Belt

Out: Louisiana-Monroe, Louisiana-Lafayette, Texas State, Arkansas State

In: Florida International, Florida Atlantic, Charlotte 49ers, Old Dominion, Delaware Blue Hens, Wake Forest

North: Delaware, Old Dominion, Appalachian State, Wake Forest, Charlotte, Coastal Carolina

South: Georgia State, Georgia Southern, FAU, FIU, Troy, South Alabama

Rivalry Week: Delaware vs ODU, App State vs Wake Forest, Charlotte vs Coastal Carolina, Georgia State vs Georgia Southern, FIU vs FAU, Troy vs South Alabama

All the remaining Eastern teams go here. The Delaware Blue Hens get to step up. Wake Forest has to step down to here.

Conference USA

Out: Southern Mississippi, UAB, Louisiana Tech, the entire East Division

In: Wyoming, Air Force, New Mexico State, Texas State, Louisiana Lafayette, Louisiana Monroe, Arkansas State, Missouri State

West: Wyoming, Air Force, NMSU, UTEP, UTSA, Texas State

East: North Texas, Rice, ULM, UL-L, Arkansas State, Missouri State

Rivalry Week: Wyoming vs Air Force, NMSU vs UTEP, Texas State vs UTSA, North Texas vs Rice, UL-L vs ULM, Missouri State vs Arkansas State

Took the C-USA Texas nucleus and added on the edges. This conference would be very fun. A lot better rivalry's and less travel costs than the actual C-USA

Independents: Notre Dame, BYU

Dissolved programs: Ole Miss, Baylor, Liberty, North Dakota

FCS programs added: South Dakota State, Northern Arizona, Montana, Idaho, Northern Iowa, Delaware, Missouri State

Now NCAA Football just needs to come back so I can make this.

Update: I figured out how to move Florida State to the SEC. If Georgia moves to the West division FSU can slide into the SEC East. This would mean North Carolina and Wake Forest move to the AAC. Appalachian State moves to the Sun Coast.

Update 2: Virginia and East Carolina have switched places. Virginia is back in the ACC and East Carolina has moved to the Eastside.

Update 3: I moved UMass to the Eastside, Duke to the AAC, Georgia State back to the Sun Belt, and Swapped New Hampshire for UT-Chattanooga. I do this in my head when I'm bored.

Update 4: Last change, I promise. Northern Iowa to the MAC, Western Kentucky to the AAC, Wake Forest to the Sun Belt, and Chattanooga back to FCS.

[As always, this is a FanPost and not an editorial position of Off Tackle Empire dot com. If you take things like this seriously in the first place, you are an idiot who should take a good, long, hard look in the mirror and reconsider all your life choices that led to this moment. Thanks to LL Sota for indulging himself (and us) with this whimsical look at college football realignment. --Management]