Mailbag, Pt. 1: Which coach gets publicly reprimanded first?

Good morning. College football—let’s hope not the Big Ten!—remains stupid and dumb.

No, no, not for cancelling football. For shit like this:

Here I will link to MGoBlog. Look away if you are one of those haughty internet types who says “EW, MGOBLOG/OTE/11W. NOT EVEN ONCE”* because once upon a time someone was mean to you or a comment section got testy.
*Offer does not apply to political bullshit sites and/or Outkick. Not even once.

Stop asking to speak to the manager, Karen. Johnny Cornhusker or Billy Buckeye isn’t getting football this fall. The conference looked at science, they made a decision. You don’t get to have “transparency” in Big Ten football—and you’re not actually qualified, with your business and marketing degree from Wayne State.** Stop HORPing made up Fox News talking points at the internet in an open letter. Trust experts.
**(I mean no aspersions toward Wayne State, I just chose an ambiguous Midwestern college.)

You’re not a “free thinker”, you’re a petulant child who doesn’t want to face a reality that’s been bearing down on us since you work your mask to show off your dicknose (if you wore it at all), then tried to turn in your midterm essay 3 weeks late and had the balls to ask the professor if you could still get an A in the class.

Welcome to college. Now you don’t get football.

Anywho, here’s your Big Ten football-themed mailbag. We’ll have your other questions (you guys REALLY wanted us to go all-in on those analogies!) up...hopefully tomorrow morning.

But first, a tease!

You’ve asked questions. You’ve wondered. You’ve written your congressperson. (Maybe not that last one.) But you still don’t know: What’s OTE doing this fall?

MC ClapYoHandz has an exciting announcement for the Off Tackle Empire fall content, coming...later today?

Beep boop.

Mailbag!

Who is the first B1G coach who gets taken behind the woodshed to remind them who is actually in charge by the admin after the university president or AD gets tired of being publicly undermined by one of their subordinates?

I was going to say Harbaugh, but he got REAL quiet the moment the cancellation was made official, and Frost seems to actually have his admin’s support to complain, so now my guess is Ryan Day.

—Stormy Dragon

Candystripes: I’ll go for the dark horse choice of James Franklin. I don’t have any reasoning or evidence to back this up, I just feel like he’s nearly the last one we’d expect, and that makes him the perfect candidate to do it.

BMan31: Iowa seems to be in revolt mode but their AD would just give Ferentz another extension so we know that ain’t happening. I’m going with Paul Chryst. It’s been too quiet up in Wisconsin, so Barry’s rebuke has either already happened or it will be coming soon.

WSR: Normally I’d love to have an opportunity to mock Scott Frost or Paul Chryst, but that won’t happen here because Frost and his AD are marching lockstep in their stupidity here and Paul Chryst knows he’s just a potted plant without any actual authority.

I feel like Ryan Day might be a safe bet, just because he’s one of the youngest and is at Ohio State, which has always had a reputation for rational thinking and using logic to address difficult situations.

pkloa: Can I just say how proud I am of Pat Fitzgerald not completely boomering the whole shebang?

MNW: I’m living in constant fear. It’s a matter of when, not if.

That said, if ever Fitz wanted to actually live up to the whole “smart school, listens to its doctors” thing, a global pandemic would be the time to do it. And so far, he’s said the right things (albeit a little late in the game).

Townie: It’s Ryan Day. He’s already well out on the skinny part of the limb:

[Townie also linked to Outkick and will spend at least one week in the penalty box. Clay Travis did not save college football like we requested; he is dead to us. Not even once.]

Beez: OSU seems the best bet here, but WSR took that one already.

Fitz seems the most likely to say something, but does he get reined in?

I could absolutely see Fleck accidentally criticizing the conference once, but then earnestly apologizing (at the direction of the Minny Prez, of course). I’m going with Candy though. Penn State seems the most likely to publicly call out its football coach.

Rondale: no questions… I just wanted to post the guy’s name once more before he gets drafted…

[/stares out window forlornly for about a month…]

Actually, I do have a question. Better one season wonder: Rondale Moore or Maurice Clarett?

—glassjawsh

pkloa: Rondale had nowhere near the supporting cast, so give me his season.

Beez: Rondale easily. Clarett didn’t even rush for 1,300 yards!

Thump: Tevin Coleman.

Townie: Yeah. Rondale...I’m sorry we won’t get to see him in college again. But I’m sorry we won’t see a lot of the great players play in college again. I’m sick about Micah Parsons, but I respect his decision.

Will BTN (or another network) take advantage of this opportunity, and rebroadcast the 2019 (or another) season on Saturdays?

Why not?

—theguyfromy-wega

Candystripes: I mean, if y’all can find somewhere to watch along, I bet you could convince us to post new game threads for past games and everyone can react in however much real time they want.

Bman31: Well, I’d just as soon pretend 2019 be wiped from my memory bank, so unless we’re talking about the games where Rondale was still playing? No.

WSR: We don’t need something from eons ago. Let’s get something more recent.

pkloa: You’ll watch your 1996 Rutger at Syracuse and you’ll like it.

Beez: (Pushes lawyer nerd glass up higher) I wonder how the rights to re-air games works....

MNW: If airing Big Ten-adjacent football is your thing, stay tuned...

The Big 12, SEC, and ACC are still going. Which conference will be the most obnoxious in claiming the National Champion?

—KetteringLex

Candystripes: ESS EEE CEE GON’ BE CHAMPS AGAIN, PAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWL! Them Northern boys couldn’t handle the ‘Rona like we could, and now we’re back on top again!
-Probably some Ole Miss fan, talking about Bama, like 6 months from now. Search your feelings, you know this to be true.

Bman31: It’s the SEC, you know it is.

WSR: Absolutely SEC. I just can’t wait to see how they determine the champion after they all get to play just one game before having to shut down, assuming they get even that far.

pkloa: If the Big XII is the only conference that plays, say, six games, and Oklahoma goes 6-0, I think Oklahoma deserves to be called National Champions. That championship will come with an enormous asterisk, but they would have had the best season.

Most obnoxious conference fans will be a four way tie. SEC, ACC, and Big XII fans will spew nonstop bullshit about whatever season their teams mustered, and B1G fans will drone on and on about insignificant titles. Pac-12 fans will go to the beach with some good smoke.

Thump: The SEC is going to claim the national championship. I don’t mean “a team from the SEC” I mean the SEC as a conference. Sure, there will also be at least one championship claim made by an SEC team, but as far as the SEC as a whole is concerned, they have already won the national title.

Townie: My ACC friends are all touting the fact that “Clemson already got the covid and they’re ready to play.” So, get ready for that bullshit.

Beez: Tie between Clemson and more of the SEC than seems appropriate. No way Lincoln Riley would let nonsense like that happen re: his school.

MNW: Anyone else feel this low-key and completely undeserved ACC haughtiness that’s been building because of Clemson? No? Just me?

It’s part of what made the University of North Carolina necessary decision to move to online classes so sad and funny all at the same time. Y’all wanted to keep this shit open so you could order at the Zaxby’s counter and watch Mack Brown football.

Clusterfuck indeed.

How long until the remaining conferences try and say they’re the National Champions and we’re left with a 7-0 team declared the “Champions”? Because let’s be honest here, the SEC will go as long as they can for football.

—SWFLSkol

BMan31: LOL thinking they’re gonna get 7 games in before having to shut it down. Although the SEC is crazy enough to try. I look forward to the walk-ons from Bama playing the scout team from Mizzou.

pkloa: Already covered that one above. MNC with an asterisk goes to whoever has the best season.

Beez: For my second answer to this question, I’ll say that nobody actually, seriously tries to claim any sort of championship.

MNW: Beez, you have absolutely met Alabama. They will go 7-0, and because LSU shuts down one week prior at 6-0, the ROLL TAHD crowd will claim they’ve earned it. UCF raised a banner for their shit, someone’s absolutely raising one unironically for this season.

See, for example, Michigan and their 1918 college football title. The Wolverines went 5-0 (2-0), “sharing” the “conference championship” with Illinois (5-2, 4-0 B1G) and Purdue (3-3, 1-0 B1G).

ONE AND ZERO IN THE WESTERN CONFERENCE; SHARED THE TITLE. Do they claim it? LET’S ROLL THE WEBSITE TAPE:

1918 – Led by head coach Arthur “Butch” Scanlon, the Boilermakers finish in a three-way tie atop the Big Ten standings to mark the first of eight league championships won or shared in school history.

NO MENTION OF THAT BIG 7-3 WIN OVER U-CHICAGO, HUH? You bet your ass they do.

College football is a dumb, prideful, haughty mess of bullshit.

I miss it already.

With the CFP’s decision to go ahead without the Big Ten and the PAC 12, are Gary Barta (Iowa), Paola Boivin (ASU), Rick George (Colorado), Ronnie Lott (USC), and John Urschel (Penn State) being disloyal by participating?

—Stormy Dragon

pkloa: If you have trouble being objective, you should not be on the CFP committee. Or, for that matter, an AP voter in 1994 Big Ten country.

Thump: the CFP decided to go ahead without the PAC-12 a long time ago, it has nothing to do with COVID-19

Beez: Yes this is an excellent reference I certainly understand.

Are we still going to get previews on how the teams would have done had they not been shut down?

—thunsicker

BMan31: What? You still long for foozbawl coverage? I’m sure there’s something in the works.

WSR: Sure, here you go: wisconsin is going to run the ball and play good defense, Ohio State is going to win the B1G and possibly make the playoff. Thank you for reading OTE.

pkloa: Make a FanPost! Whether it’s sharing info about your team or hating Michigan, your voices are important.

Beez: EXCUSE ME, but as the guy partially responsible for making sure Wisconsin content was going to be put up slightly late because I forgot, I think I should be weighing in on the Wisconsin preview.

[reviews WSR’s preview]

Uh what WSR said sounds right.

Townie: PSU wins September heisman. Then we get rocked at Michigan, stumble against a weak foe, and lose a close one to OSU. Rumors swirl that Franklin is on the hot seat.

Thump: something tells me ohio state was going to be pretty good this year, i can’t quite put my finger on it but they seemed like a team that could win at least 11.

Brohm’s schedule is a nice starting point. I figure that he needed something to occupy his time so glad to see he put it to some use.

If it were me, I would go for a 9 game spring and fall B1G-only slates where everyone plays the 2020 B1G schedule in the spring and the 2021 B1G schedule in the fall. Still gets us two full B1G seasons while limiting wear and tear on the players. Plus, the schedules already exist, we’ll just need to work out the details.

What would the OTE “writers” do?

—HoustonBoiler

BMan31: I’m down with Brohm’s plan. I think it addresses many of the points the mouthbreathers who needed something to bitch about on teh interwebs were screaming about.

Side note: Seriously, dumbasses of Twitter, you see that “Logout” button? Use it and then go outside or something. I dunno, maybe play football with your dumbass kids that you’re probably screaming at because they’re 7 and you’re still trying to live your failure of a life through vicariously. I look forward to more videos of you getting into fistfights at travel baseball games when this is all over. K. Thx.

WSR: Whatever. Just get me some football where we don’t scar the lungs and/or hearts of young men for life because we think it’s more important than ending a global pandemic.

pkloa: I like the Brohm plan, with the exception of a 6 team College Football Playoff. And I really just appreciate his thinking about solutions as opposed to complaining or counting his money.

Beez: I think the best shot for the Spring 2021 season is a divisional round robin and then a Big Ten Championship Game.

Or a matchup of 1-1, 2-2, 3-3, etc… as the 7th game. 9 games is too many. And we can keep the divisions the same, randomize them, or intelligently plan them to be different. Whichever option is most interesting or makes you maddest is fine.