/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/67284660/1211426087.jpg.0.jpg)
Let's get the b.s. out of the way early. I, like MNW, and unlike the bearded beauty above, am not a gamer. Many of the numbers that follow mean diddly squat to me, so enjoy. If you want to know more about the numbers, read the primer and the helpful guide by actual smart person MC ClapYoHandz. Clap also gave me the tables below. Or... or wait, was it the tables below also gave me th... No, I think I had it right the first time.
On to the Penn State virtual roster!
Offense
Quarterbacks
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/21809938/psu_qbs.jpg)
Sean Clifford is the real deal, and I'm glad the random number generator has agreed. I see no problem with any of these numbers.
Running Backs
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/21809945/psu_rbs.jpg)
I've been telling you the RB room is stacked, but you didn't want to believe me. Can't argue with video game numbers though. Noah Cain maybe ought to have a bit higher Break Tackle rating, but maybe that's just quibbling. Let's drop Devyn Ford's Awareness a bit, because dude was caught Carrying*.
*it was really residue in his dorm room, but the joke flowed better. See O-Line segment for the others involved.
Tight Ends
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/21809955/psu_tes.jpg)
We do this again in 18 months, and Zack Kuntz will be much higher. Alas, his score reflects 2019 performance, not necessarily potential. Eff it, no arguments from me.
Wide Receivers
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/21809962/psu_wrs.jpg)
Cam Sullivan-Brown is criminally underrated here, and Daniel George is a bit low as well. Numbers machine, you've stepped in it this time. Give CSB a 78ish on Catching and I guess I'll be happy.
Offensive Line
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/21809968/psu_ol.jpg)
J. Christ with an Awareness rating of 50? He literally had a guy paint him and his crew, knowing it was his last supper. And since we're on Awareness, Rasheed Walker's 25 is Block Your Own Teammate territory. Dammit. Wallace and Wormley were, uh, clearing the path for Ford's whoopsie-daisy, so may as well correct their Awareness score.
Special Teams
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/21809985/psu_ks.jpg)
Jordan Stout kicked 3 50 yard FGs last year, and punted balls into the Jerry Jones Midfield Egotron from the sideline. I don't want to overpower the guy, but he's got a leg on him. Number people, I’ll defer to your wisdom.
Defense
Defensive Line
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/21809997/psu_dl.jpg)
Hell yeah, get some. The Wild Dogs fixin' to eat. I have no recommended changes.
Linebackers
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/21810003/psu_lbs.jpg)
Hell yeah, get some. Micah Parsons is back on the squad, and boy is he pissed. Jesse Luketa and Lance Dixon both seem a touch low, but I cant put my finger on why. Maybe Play Recognition would be better at 80.
Secondary
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/21810010/psu_dbs.jpg)
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/21810013/looks_about_right.jpg)
B1G Finale
There ya go. All the ratings, half the calories. One more hat tip to MC Clap, who did VIRTUALLY all the work. Know what you're talking about regarding these ratings? Tell me I'm a dumbass while you fix them in the comments section.