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Don’t Watch This; Watch That: Week 4 College Football Schedule

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Let’s play spot the Socialists! You start in Gas City, I’ll start in Minot, and we’ll meet at Red Cloud.

These are the Minot State Beavers. In 1911 the city of Minot elected a Socialist mayor. I don’t see what could be hard to comprehend about this.
Minot State Athletics

This is a very normal sentence, in the Year of Our Lord 2020, that we should just be used to reading:

The North Texas-Houston football game scheduled for Saturday has been postponed, the fourth season opener the Cougars have been unable to play due to the coronavirus pandemic.

North Texas said in a statement Wednesday that four positive COVID-19 tests this week, and subsequent contact tracing, left the Mean Green unable to field a team for the game. Both schools are looking to reschedule if possible.

Houston has previously had opening games against Rice, Memphis and Baylor postponed or canceled. In all four cases, Houston’s opponents had coronavirus issues that did not allow them to play.

Texas colleges are, notably, currently super cool places to be if you’d like to contract coronavirus. But hey, I feel bad that Dana Holgorsen isn’t getting the chance to show that the Cougs are exactly who we thought they were—fun offense, lots of points...defense? Never heard of it.

Add to that, in the last week, Tulsa-Arkansas State, Notre Dame-Wake Forest (this one forcing the ACC to announce its championship game will probably be December 19), and South Florida-Florida Atlantic being canceled.

If only we knew how viruses spread.

This season is definitely happening, though. Nebraska and Ohio State NEED it to happen.

Cool. Moving on.

The Red Spectre of Socialism Descends

I had planned to do a whole intro on this today—on Tuesday my classes looked at local progressive movements at the end of the Gilded Age, appreciating not just the classics...

...but Socialist mayors elected throughout the Midwest (and the country)—from Thomas Van Lear in Minneapolis to Arthur Le Sueur in...Minot, North Dakota. Oh, and Adolph Ousdahl of Brainerd, Minnesota.

When you think Socialists, you think Minot and Brainerd.

More broadly, though, cities across the country elected these Socialist mayors, usually between 1900 and the outbreak of World War I. Check out a massive (and really well-put together) visualization through the University of Washington’s Mapping American Social Movements project:

There are some excellent—and question-provoking—examples in there. I’ve provided a few of my favorites below, but I’d love to hear about the SOCIALISMS that were being done in your midst just a century ago:

Vote, if you would be so kind, for your favorite Midwestern socialist:

Poll

Name your favorite Midwestern socialist:

This poll is closed

  • 17%
    ADOLPH Ousdahl of Brainerd—PROOF THAT ANTIFA ARE FASCISTS; CHECKMATE, LIB
    (22 votes)
  • 10%
    The Honorable Mr. RAKESTRAW of Deadwood, please
    (13 votes)
  • 6%
    J.G. Painter PROLLY WOULDNTA LET THE HUSKERS PLAY FOOTBALL
    (8 votes)
  • 28%
    /snicker...Beaver Dam
    (35 votes)
  • 33%
    You, MNW, for INDOCTRINATING the leaders of tomorrow...today
    (42 votes)
  • 4%
    Someone else I found on the map and about whom I will tell you in the comments.
    (5 votes)
125 votes total Vote Now

Stick around! Hang out with us!


Thursday

Don’t Watch This

{MLB} Detroit Tigers at Kansas City Royals [7:05pm, FS1]
{MLB} Milwaukee Brewers at St. Louis Cardinals [7:15pm, ESPN+]
{NFL} Miami Dolphins at Jacksonville Jaguars (-3, O/U 48) [7:20pm, NFLN]
{NBA} Los Angeles Lakers (-6, O/U 215) vs. Denver Nuggets [8pm, TNT]

{Copa Libertadores} Club Jorge Wilstermann at Peñarol [4:50pm, beIN]
{Copa do Brazil} Atlético-GO vs. Fluminense [6pm, FS2]
{Copa Libertadores} Independiente Medellin vs. Boca Juniors [6:50pm, beIN]
{Liga MX} Pachuca vs. Toluca [8:30pm, TUDN]
{Copa Libertadores} Delfin vs. Santos [8:50pm, beIN]
{USL} Portland Timbers II vs. Tacoma Defiance [9pm, ESPN+]

Watch That

UAB Blazers at South Alabama Jaguars

6:30pm | ESPN | UAB -7 | O/U 47.5

Minnesota Lynx vs. Seattle Storm

6:30pm | ESPN2 | Storm lead, 1-0

Lots of bad soccer on Thursday afternoon, headlined by the UEFA Super Cup between Bayern Munich and Sevilla at 2pm (probably on CBSSN) but including a couple Carabao Cup matches (Lincoln City Red Imps-Liverpool and Manchester City-Bournemouth) on ESPN+ at 1:45.

Down the slate, though, we get to the truly terrible stuff: Europa League qualifying matches, which involve real, professional English teams like Tottenham Hotspur traveling to [/checks notes] North Macedonia to play the esteemed KF Shkendija.

But can YOU identify where Spurs’ other possible Europa League opponents are from? Take this quiz from SBNation Spurs blog Cartilage Free Captain:

Go Shkendija.

(And I’ll just be hoping everyone in UAB-USA has fun, but I also wish to see it branded the Battle of I-65.)

Poll

Thursday night. What’s on?

This poll is closed

  • 18%
    UAB-USA: The Battle of I-65!
    (15 votes)
  • 19%
    Dolphins-Jaguars: The Battle of Who Gives a Fuck?
    (16 votes)
  • 15%
    Lakers-Nuggets
    (13 votes)
  • 19%
    Baseball, maybe?
    (16 votes)
  • 27%
    I admire your commitment to terrible soccer, MNW.
    (23 votes)
83 votes total Vote Now

Friday

Don’t Watch This

{MLB} Philadelphia Phillies at Tampa Bay Rays [5:40pm, ESPN+]
{MLB} Chicago Cubs at Chicago White Sox [7pm, ESPN2]
{NBA} Miami Heat vs. Boston Celtics [7:30pm, ESPN]

{Bundesliga} Hertha Berlin vs. Eintracht Frankfurt [1:30pm, ESPN+]
{Ligue 1} Lille vs. Nantes [2pm, beIN]
{USL} Greenville Triumph vs. North Texas [6pm, ESPN+]
{Liga MX} Puebla vs. Queretaro [7:30pm, TUDN]
{Liga MX} Juarez vs. Atlas [9:30pm, TUDN]

Watch That

Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders at UTSA Roadrunners

7pm | CBSSN | UTSA -6.5 | O/U 59.5

{NHL} Tampa Bay Lightning at Dallas Stars

7pm | NBC | TB leads, 2-1

{EFL} Huddersfield Town vs. Nottingham Forest

1:45pm | ESPN+

Liberal rag City Pages has ranked the 40 Best Beers in Minnesota, and I am either s h o o k or aroused; I have not yet decided which.

Here, in the interesting of making this your One Stop Shop for all things Minnesota, is a reminder that Norm Green Sucks:

I may have shared that in a past DWT;WT.

Go Bolts.

Poll

I will spend my Friday night...

This poll is closed

  • 20%
    on MTSU-UTSA: 75% the same letters! 75% the talent of a regular college football game!
    (19 votes)
  • 23%
    Tampa Bay-Dallas
    (22 votes)
  • 10%
    Heat-Celtics
    (10 votes)
  • 9%
    Baseball
    (9 votes)
  • 24%
    STOP SUGGESTING SOCCER
    (23 votes)
  • 10%
    Down at the ol’ high school field, grumbling to the other parents that Billy is only the starting wide receiver because the coach is banging his mom
    (10 votes)
93 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Morning

Don’t Watch This

Kansas State Wildcats at #3 Oklahoma Sooners (-27.5, O/U 60.5) [11am, FOX]
#13 UCF Knights (-27, O/U 77!!!) at East Carolina Pirates [11am, ABC]
#5 Florida Gators (-14, O/U 57) at Ole Miss Rebels [11am, ESPN]
Georgia State Panthers (-2.5, O/U 58) at Charlotte 49ers [11am, ESPNU]
#23 Kentucky Wildcats at #8 Auburn Tigers (-7.5, O/U 49.5) [11am, SECN]
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets (-8, O/U 52.5) at Syracuse Orange [11am, ESPN3]
Campbell Fighting Camels at Appalachian St. Mountaineers [11am, ESPN+]
FIU Sunblazers (+7, O/U 59) at Liberty Biberty Poolboys [12pm, ESPN3]

{Serie A} Sampdoria vs. Benevento [11am, ESPN+]
{Serie A} Cagliari vs. Lazio [11am, ESPN+]
{EPL} West Bromwich Albion vs. Chelsea [11:30am, Peacock]
{Bundesliga} FC Schalke 04 vs. Werder Bremen [11:30am, ESPN+]

Watch That

Georgia Southern Eagles at #19 Louisiana Ragin Cajuns

11am | ESPN2 | UL -13.5 | O/U 52

#24 Louisville Cardinals at #21 Pittsburgh Panthers

11am | ACCN | Pitt -3 | O/U 55

Another week, another major-conference return. This week, we get the SEC, where ALL THE CONFERENCE GAMES ARE LIKE, THE HARDEST THING IN THE WORLD!

...unless you get the free space that is Arkansas. Or Vanderbilt. Or Kentucky, in literally any big game ever (unless it’s a bowl game against Penn State, which, still lol’ing there).

Spare a thought, if you can, for the SEC—they don’t even get a Chickenshit Saturday this fall, you guys. Though I will be curious, as the fall wears on, if you’ll see some Big South additions to the SEC schedule when, God forbid, a team has a coronavirus outbreak. That’s not to say any of these schools would actually take it seriously, but maybe Campbell gets another call. Poor Camels have become the sacrificial lambs of the South.

That said, anyone got a 5-bed, 4-bath, private lake home in Jackson, Mississippi?

What do you say we go in on selling one and split that commish?

You’ve got the feel-good story that is the Ragin’ Cajuns. You’ve got the Georgia Southern triple option and dynamic QB Shai Wertswhose recent experiences with law enforcement, as well, are something worth reminding ourselves of.

Let’s get weird in Lafayette.

Poll

Saturday morning! Once I return from brunch and/or my soccer brewpub breakfast for beans-on-toast and a Carlsberg, I’ll be watching...

This poll is closed

  • 22%
    Georgia Southern-RAGIN CAJUNS
    (16 votes)
  • 18%
    Louisville-Pitt, MNW? You serious?
    (13 votes)
  • 8%
    UCF-East Carolina, for the POINTZ
    (6 votes)
  • 7%
    Kentucky-Auburn
    (5 votes)
  • 16%
    Florida-Ole Miss, for some LANE TRAIN action
    (12 votes)
  • 26%
    Literally anything else on this list and I promise to tell you what in the comments if it means you won’t provide 10 more poll options
    (19 votes)
71 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Afternoon

Don’t Watch This

Iowa St. Cyclones (-2.5, O/U 44.5) at TCU Horned Frogs [12:30pm, FS1]
Tulane Green Wave (-3.5, O/U 54.5) at Southern Miss Golden Eagles [1:30pm, Stadium]
#8 Texas Longhorns (-18, O/U 70.5) at Texas Tech Red Raiders [2:30pm, FOX]
West Virginia Mountaineers at #15 Oklahoma State Cowboys (-7, O/U 51.5) [2:30pm, ABC]
UTEP Miners at ULM Warhawks (-9.5, O/U 48.5) [2:30pm, ESPN]
#4 Georgia Bulldogs (-26.5, O/U 52) at Arkansas Razorbacks [3pm, SECN]
Duke Blue Devils at Virginia Cavaliers (-5, O/U 46) [3pm, ACCN]

{Serie A} Inter Milan vs. Fiorentina [1:45pm, ESPN+]
{EPL} Burnley vs. Southampton [2pm, Peacock]
{MLS} Nashville vs. Houston Dynamo [2:30pm, FS1]

Watch That

#22 Army Black Knights at #14 Cincinnati Bearcats

2:30pm | ESPN | Cincy -13.5 | O/U 45

Mississippi State Bulldogs at #6 LSU Tigers

2:30pm | CBS | LSU -16.5 | O/U 56.5

Is it hypocritical to watch one of the two fun new hires in Mississippi and not the other? Maybe. But I’ll take a first-time SEC coach instead of a fail-son returning to give it another try.

Give me Mike Leach throwing the ball 75 times in Death Valley and losing 56-21 but eventually catching someone off-guard. It is going to be weird and dumb and I’ll watch a half of that action, sure.

The real play here, as you can tell, is Army-Cincinnati. Does it matter that Desmond Ridder should be able to throw all over the Black Knights, but if Army uses what SBN has informed me is a “Tite” formation or, more generally, allows its hybrid edge rushers to cause some havoc in the Bearcat backfield, I’m all in.

Knights fullback Jakobi Buchanan, by the way, is listed at 6’0”...260 pounds. TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY FUCKING POUNDS!

NCAA Football: UL Monroe at Army John Jones-USA TODAY Sports

I do not want to meet that freight train running a fullback dive. Goddamnit, I love the triple option. Go Army.

Poll

Afternoon! As MNW tries to sober up when he learns his wife got off work early, what should he watch?

This poll is closed

  • 42%
    Army-Cincinnati
    (32 votes)
  • 26%
    Mississippi State-LSU
    (20 votes)
  • 5%
    TEXAS BAK (on my screen)
    (4 votes)
  • 10%
    Iowa State-TCU?
    (8 votes)
  • 5%
    Seems like you would want to watch Tulane-Southern Miss...you OK?
    (4 votes)
  • 9%
    Something else here
    (7 votes)
75 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Evening

Don’t Watch This

Texas State Bobcats at Boston College Eagles (-18, O/U 58.5) [5pm, ESPN3]
#2 Alabama Crimson Tide (-27, O/U 56) at Missouri Tigers [6pm, ESPN]
Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks at SMU Mustangs [6pm, ESPN+]
Kansas Jayhawks at Baylor Bears (-17, O/U 62) [6:30pm, ESPNU]
#16 Tennessee Volunteers (-3.5, O/U 43.5) at South Carolina Gamecocks [6:30pm, SECN]
Vanderbilt Commodores at #10 Texas A&M Aggies (-31, O/U 46.5) [6:30pm, SECN+]

{MLB} New York Mets at Washington Nationals [5:05pm, FOX]
{MLB} Milwaukee Brewers at St. Louis Cardinals [6pm, FOX regional]
{MLB} Philadelphia Phillies at Tampa Bay Rays [6pm, FOX regional]
{MLS} NYCFC vs. FC Cincinnati [6pm, ESPN+]
{NBA} Denver Nuggets vs. Los Angeles Lakers [8pm, TNT]
{MLB} San Diego Padres at San Francisco Giants [8:15pm, ESPN+]

Watch That

Florida State Seminoles at #12 Miami Fluoride Hurricanes

6:30pm | ABC | M-FL -11 | O/U 54

N.C. State Wolfpack at #20 Virginia Tech Hokies

7pm | ACCN | VPI -7 | O/U 57

Houston Baptist Huskies at Louisiana Tech Bulldogs

6pm | ESPN3 | LATech -23.5 | O/U 70.5

{NHL} Dallas Stars vs. Tampa Bay Lightning

7pm | NBC | Game 5

It feels odd to choose multiple ACC games in a timeslot, let alone a day. But let that illustrate (1) just how light on actually good content we are right now, and (2) just how dumb I expect FSU-Miami to be, particularly with HC Mike Norvell out with COVID.

Plus, if you’ve not stopped and appreciated Miami’s METAL specialists, do so:

Gannett

That’s Venezuelan kicker Jose Borregales, who hit FGs of 50 and 53 yards to help FIU upset Miami last year then transferred to the Hurricanes, joining tattooed Aussie punter Lou Hedley [find a more Aussie punter name]. They’re awesome and make Miami football almost redeemable.

My FCS-over-FBS Upset Alert: Houston Baptist gave Texas Tech all they could handle at home, and Huskies QB Bailey Zappe has a 7 TD to 0 INT ratio so far. They put up 31 on North Texas and 35 on Texas Tech—why not another thirty-mark on a C-USA defense? Louisiana Tech has just one game under their belt, a late comeback win over an underwhelming Southern Miss club to whom they gave up 30 points. If you can find a line

Poll

Evening: As MNW is banished to the basement for being "still drunk", what should he watch?

This poll is closed

  • 30%
    Florida State-Miami Fluoride
    (22 votes)
  • 8%
    Houston Baptist-LaTech
    (6 votes)
  • 2%
    N.C. State-Virginia Tech
    (2 votes)
  • 9%
    Alabama-Mizzou
    (7 votes)
  • 5%
    Some other SEC bullshit
    (4 votes)
  • 42%
    Maybe hockey?
    (30 votes)
71 votes total Vote Now

It’s late and I’m drunk...

Don’t Watch This

There’s lots of bad lower-division soccer on ESPN+ if you need it.

Watch That

Troy Trojans at #18 BYU Cougars

9:15pm | ESPN | BYU -14 | O/U 61

Not even Aussie Rules this week to distract us. Tune in, watch the Cougars cheap-shot the Trojans, wish like hell we could queue up some Hawaii football after dark.


Here’s your open thread for Thursday and Friday’s games. Let us know your favorite SURPRISE SOCIALIST, if you want.

Enjoy the games, everyone.