Saturday Open Thread, No B1G Deal

Football continues being back today. If you watched the South Alabama-Southern Miss slobberknocker on Thursday night, you might have realized that the beginning of the season will not be sending its best.

Here’s what you can watch today:

Eastern Kentucky Colonels at Marshall Thundering Herd

12pm | ESPN

Look how wonderfully desperate ESPN is that it’ll play Marshall beating a middling OVC team by 20. The Colonels fired their coach at the end of 2019, while Doc Holliday is still cruising along in Huntington, having not been threatened by an elected official for at least a couple years now.

Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders at Army Black Knights

12:30pm | CBSSN | Army -3.5 | O/U 55

This is an Army football game; you know exactly what you’re going to get from the Black Knights.

Middle Tennessee, since they seem to pop up on a Big Ten schedule at least once a year and we worry if Brent Stockstill can throw their way past the Iowa defense, has moved on, with Asher O’Hara taking over in charge of the Blue Raider attack with little drop-off.

There’s just the problem of the rush defense and—as Underdog Dynasty noted over with Against All Enemies—the Blue Raiders have only had a few weeks to prepare for the triple option. Except some fumbles, some missed assignments, and some slop.

SMU Mustangs at Texas State Bobcats

3:30pm | ESPN | SMU -23 | O/U 69.5

The Ponies and noted asshole Sonny Dykes might hit the over by themselves.

Also I learned last night that other noted asshole Norm Green is on the executive committee for some business school philanthropic board at SMU.

Fuck Norm Green.

Houston Baptist Huskies at North Texas Mean Green

6:30pm | ESPN3

Evidently ESPN’s largesse runs out in the evening (and the wildly superior US Open tennis tournament starts).

Arkansas State Red Wolves at Memphis Tigers

7pm | ESPN | Memphis -18.5 | O/U 73.5

PAINT.

BUCKET.

BOWL.

Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks at UTEP Miners

8pm | ESPN3

I still put it at 33% that this is a one-score game going into the fourth.

Is anything else on?

You betcha:

Dead Read tells me I have to read you all the rules:

Here are the rules:

1) No pirated streams or discussion about pirated streams.

2) Don’t be a jackass.

3) Have fun.

4) Please be sensible with image sizes.

Happy B1G-less football, y’all.