Even when you think you’ve seen the silliest thing that’s ever happened in college football, you can always take comfort in knowing that even if you’re right, there will still be plenty of delightfully silly events that this sport produces.
Here’s a few.
You Picked A Bad Time To Get Lost, Friend
The #14 Coastal Carolina Chanticleers took their undefeated record to Boone, North Carolina to see if they could survive playing a Pretty Good Team in Appalachian State. They’d not yet been tested very much in my opinion.
Well, they certainly TRIED to get to Boone, anyhow.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO pic.twitter.com/yrMpwRxV2K— "GOLDROOM15" ON HOUSEUNITEDSPORTS.COM (@AppStateConeBoy) October 20, 2021
This was a poor omen for the Chants. Whatever vehicle was carrying Isaiah Likely doesn’t seem to have showed up in time, as Grayson McCall got lost trying to find his star tight end in Coastal’s first loss of the year
Delete The Reverse Pass From Your Playbook
Illinois was controlling the flow of the game with a power rushing attack, but there came several junctures where they wanted to get an explosive play. The conventional passing game, however, was awful. Tony Petersen had an idea.
this Illinois trick play worked until uh the end pic.twitter.com/Q3lMoOdI5z— The Transfer Portal CFB (@TPortalCFB) October 23, 2021
They dialed this play up a second time in the fourth quarter, but this time Washington nearly got picked off.
In one of the 2-point overtimes, Penn State tried this exact same play with a throwback to a wide open Sean Clifford, who dropped the ball.
Neither team should try this play again
Sooner Than You Think
The undefeated Oklahoma Sooners were having trouble putting away Kansas when Kennedy Brooks got stuffed on fourth and short.
Quarterback Caleb Williams stripped the ball from his teammate and took it himself for the conversion
I’ve never seen anything like this. It’s hard to call this a Tart because it was actually awesome, but it was also silly and unprecedented.
Courage the Cowardly Lion
You’re Penn State. You’ve the #7 team in the country with a roster full of blue chippers at every position, but you’ve been pushed around at home all day by Illinois and their complete inability to throw the ball. You get the ball with 4:44 to go in a tie game. What do you do?
Penn State started off by handing the ball off to Noah Cain a few times, moving the chains and taking 20 seconds off in between three straight runs. Eventually, a huge amount of pre-snap confusion necessitates a timeout with 3:01 left on second and 8 from your own 29.
Uh-oh, only got 5 yards. Penn State takes the whole clock before converting on third and short only to get sacked on first down with two minutes remaining.
At this point, the team with Jahan Dotson and Parker Washington decided to play for overtime as a 24.5-point favorite.
Various other tidbits from Illinois-PSU
None of these by themselves will win Tart Of The Week, nor do I have video of any of them, but I figured I’d rattle off a few.
Penn State lined up to kick a game-tying field goal on 4th and 2. With the game going the way it was, they decided to try a hard count to get the first down. The only person fooled was Penn State’s own kicker, who false-started. Fortunately for him, he’d make the field goal after backing up 5 more yards.
Illinois tried diligently to mount a game-winning drive with 30 seconds to go, but without passing the ball. This is a difficult ask, but they got a first down out to the 24 and then another on an 18 yard gain taking them all the way to their own 42 with 13 seconds to go. At this point, Bret Bielema called his last timeout instead of having Art Sitkowski spike the ball to preserve 11 seconds or so and the timeout. Probably could have used that TO.
In what I believe was OT5, Sitkowski actually threw an accurate pass for once in his life, but it was dropped by Josh McCray in the end zone.
In OT6, Sitkowski rolled right and then attracted a linebacker off of RB Jakari Norwood. He could have thrown the score right then, but instead took a couple more steps to make sure. This allowed the linebacker to close enough that Sitkowski not only missed the throw, but got hit and fell awkwardly on his arm, breaking it.
Enter Brandon Peters for OT7. He took the snap, looked left, didn’t see what he want and so he threw it away out of the back of the end zone. IN SUDDEN DEATH OVERTIME.
The Greatest Box Score Ever
Ultimately, the Illinois at Penn State game produced art.
Hang it at Big Ten headquarters.
B1G Bad Beat
Imagine being enough of a degenerate to bet the over in a late October B1G conference game. The O/U for Illinois at Penn State was 46, and things were looking grim until the game headed to a 10-10 overtime. Traditionally, college overtime has been kind to over bettors.
Not today! Had each team scored a touchdown and an XP/conversion in the two regular overtimes, the total would have hit 50. Instead they settled for field goals, bringing it to 32. But an endless two-point marathon between a team with 360 yards rushing and a team full of blue chippers will surely yield some results, right?
NOPE. 9OT later, the total was 38, a full eight less than the 46 line.
I mentioned this when talking about a suspect Bret Bielema timeout, but when you get a first down trailing late in a college game with under two minutes to play, you spike the ball. It didn’t cost Bielema much, but the same can’t be said for Colorado State.
After scoring to cut Utah State’s lead to 2, the Rams got the ball back and drove into field goal territory with no timeouts. A first down with 9 seconds left prompted them to...scramble the field go
al unit onto the field and badly rush the kick, which missed.
Situational awareness has been at a premium this year
Nobody Wants to Watch Arizona Football
Arizona is now on a 19-game losing streak, which is more than halfway towards catching Jimmy Carter-era Northwestern’s 34. To drum up some interest, their DIA got desperate.
the arizona athletics account posted this tweet an hour before the game, offering a seat upgrade for free to anyone who replied. literally no one replied before game time pic.twitter.com/5JsFSC176u— david potts (@dpottzzz) October 23, 2021
That’s a tough look. Kevin Sumlin was more destructive to Arizona Football than Lovie Smith was to Illinois.
Someone Is Thinking Of The Kids
Creighton has been endeavoring to find me the worst ref call every week, and this week he’s finally found an official who wants to make sure this country is imparting the great American value of
humility soulless subservience to authority to its children.
Ok guys. I know we often say "this is the worst call of all time" ... Well we found it. This was called back for taunting. pic.twitter.com/QH5kM9RdW5— Geoff Schwartz (@geoffschwartz) October 23, 2021
Won’t Someone Think Of Poor Harvard?
Isn’t it time someone looked out for those poor Harvard kids?
In an email being circulated among Harvard players, the Ivy League apparently admits an officiating procedural error negated what would’ve been Harvard’s game-winning conversion in the 3OT of what ended up being a 5OT Princeton victory in a battle of undefeateds: pic.twitter.com/AfuPelS3cc— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) October 24, 2021
Oh no! Some Ivy League fuckery is afoot!
What’s this week’s best Tart?
This poll is closed
Coastal’s Mountain Mishap
Reverse Pass Can’t Be Done
Caleb Williams Can Do It Better
Franklion Roars For Overtime
Penn State Fools Own Kicker With Hard Count
Throwaway In Sudden Death OT
14-Compartment Box Score For Illinois-PSU
Still Hit The Under
Hurry And Kick, No Time To Explain
Can You Downgrade My Seat Out Of The Stadium?
Ref Thinks Of The Kids
Harvard Students Face Adversity