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The Weekly Mailbag is talking WRs, avoiding volcanos, and normalizing Thanksgiving food year-round.

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“And the walleye was THIS BIG!”
Barbara J. Perenic/Columbus Dispatch / USA TODAY NETWORK

Good morning and welcome back to yet another Saturday morning edition of the Weekly Mailbag. I have no idea what’s going on anymore, but Gopher Hockey beat RIT last night 10-0 behind a hat trick and two assists from Taylor Heise. The Gophers were actually the first team to make a goalie change tonight, just to get plenty of ice time for the 3rd and 4th goalies on the roster (Makayla Pahl and Olivia King, respectively). But because the Men’s team shit the bed we’re just going to ignore them.

Anyway, gets some coffee and get ready for a few game with minimal scoring today. Can Minnesota-Iowa get to negative points? Let’s find out! Good luck to nearly all of you today.

Best WR in the Big Ten? - Buckeyes2014

WSR: Dotson and Bell deserve credit, but it’s Olave. tOSU has a fleet of guys where you could make the argument that any of their first 3 are better than the rest of the B1G (which...I mean, maybe), and Dotson and Bell are the only two guys that have a shot of cracking that lineup. Even above Chris Autman-Bell, who is outstanding when he’s healthy.

misdreavus79: The answer to this question depends on what you define as best. If you think about it in terms of production, here’s how it breaks down with the three most talked about receivers:

Receptions

  • Jahan Dotson - 71 (1st)
  • David Bell - 64 (2nd)
  • Chris Olave - 42 (7th)

Receiving Yards

  • David Bell - 1003 (1st)
  • Jahan Dotson - 932 (2nd)
  • Chris Olave 623 (7th)

Touchdowns

  • Chris Olave - 10 (1st)
  • Jahan Dotson - 9 (2nd)
  • David Bell - 5 (5th)

Now, if you were to think about it the way the College Football Playoff committee thinks about ranking teams, then what the receivers have actually done on the field this season only really matters a little, if at all. In that case, it’s Chris Olave without question, because, well, why wouldn’t it be Chris Olave? But anyone who actually looks at what the receivers have done this season can’t in good conscience say it isn’t David Bell or Jahan Dotson (or both, which is my personal opinion).

Beez: I think it’s Bell. From what I’ve heard/made up, he, far more than the other two, is expected to just go up and get mediocre passes rather than running wide open and catching bombs in stride. It’s really impossible to tell, though, given the disparities in surrounding talent and QB among these 3 dudes.

Jesse: I mean, I hate to agree with WSR, but it’s probably Olave. From a sheer production POV, I suppose you could make some concessions that Dotson and Bell are better in both, but Olave also has a whole HOST of other guys who need to get fed the ball. And like, he’s still kind of unreal in opening up opportunities for the rest of the team. If I had a vote for who I would like to see get an award, it’s probably David Bell who I just like watching more than anyone else, but I think Olave is probably the best.

RockyMtnBlue: This is actually a pretty tough choice. All three of those players are dominant and I’d kill a baby and a nun on the same day to have any of them on my team. If you ask me after this week’s games I’ll probably say Dotson because I suspect he’s going to light Michigan up like a Christmas Tree. But the best is Olave.

MC ClapYoHandz: Y’all got any more of those Jack Dunns…

HWAHSQB: My team has thrown the ball for 100 yards or less in more than half their games and runs an offensive formation with 7 OL, 2TE, and zero WR. I wouldn’t know what a good receiver looks like. I will say the best catch I’ve seen all year was by well known wide receiver standout Johnny Langan

Poll

Best WR in the B1G?

  • 25%
    Olave
    (34 votes)
  • 11%
    Dotson
    (15 votes)
  • 44%
    Bell
    (58 votes)
  • 7%
    Other
    (10 votes)
  • 10%
    Jabrill Peppers
    (14 votes)
131 votes total Vote Now

Uh-oh! A volcano has erupted and is about to bury your college town. Thankfully, a rich benefactor is giving enough money to relocate the entire campus to another city, as long as it is within or contiguous to the existing B1G footprint. What is the new home of your institution, and why did you choose it? - Broated Nutcrackle

WSR: All right, so this one is going to require a bit of work. But here’s the long and the short of it: We’re putting the University of Minnesota between Red Wing and Wabasha along Lake Pepin and the Mississippi River. We’re probably going to need to make some adjustments to Frontenac State Park and the Rochester Rail Link (like actually building the Rochester Rail Link) and having a depot in Cannon Falls would probably be needed. But if you want the University of Minnesota to be in one of the more beautiful parts of the state with plenty of room for expansion while also being able to have students able to drunkenly take ubers to piss on wisconsin, this is our winner.

misdreavus79: My brain refuses to ignore the impossibility of a volcano wiping out University Park without taking out its surrounding area (or, like, a volcano popping up in the middle of Pennsylvania altogether), but I’ll try my best.

For football, being in the very middle of the state actually plays quite well, because people from all over can, relatively easily, make their way onto campus. But, for sports like Basketball that have many more games and play most of them during the week, being closer to one of the edges of the state is most convenient. My choice of course would be moving them east, which would allow me to fly to the Philly (or Harrisburg) airports and easily make it to campus. It would also allow a lot more people to make it to weekday games easily.

Jesse: Interesting, so I get to be contiguous? So like, technically I can move us to Denver? Because I’m definitely moving us to Denver for pretty much all of the reasons you could imagine. First off, laws in Colorado are - well - they’re better. We can leave it at that. Second off, mountains are much cooler than no mountains. Third off, on paper, recruiting to Nebraska in Colorado seems like more fun than recruiting to Nebraska in Nebraska. Added bonus is that we can probably add some ski-related sports to the docket, which sounds kinda fun.

MNW: Joke’s on you, Northwestern could FINALLY actually be located in Chicago. Unless you’re counting the volcano as burying Chicago, too. Then we’d probably just move somewhere more exclusive and shittier, like Winnetka.

Failing that, maybe Northwestern re-lives up to its name and moves to the actual Northwest. Let’s say Seattle or something. Where do the poseur rich folk live out there?

RockyMtnBlue: Dammit, Jesse. You took my answer. I’m going with Denver anyway. I’m renaming the school University of Michigan-West, which has the added benefit of making the fight song make more sense in the 21st century. Oh and I’m moving us to the Pac12 South. Our new big rival is Colorado. Now maybe we can beat a rival and make a CCG once in a while.

HWAHSQB: Urbana

Poll

Would a volcano destroying madison, wisconsin make you happy?

  • 100%
    Yes
    (69 votes)
69 votes total Vote Now

Given the chaos of this year, what is the most B1G thing that can happen in the conference championship? - Drysil

WSR: tOSU wins by less than a TD and ends up missing the playoff due to style points.

misdreavus79: Penn State playing in it because Ohio State lost their last three games and both Michigan and Michigan State lost two of the last three. Please football gods let this happen!

Beez: Wisconsin’s defense totally shuts down Ohio State’s offense, but OSU’s punter pins Wisconsin near its own goalline often enough that OSU’s kicker gets to go 4/5 on FGs to win 12-0.

Jesse: There’s a lot of pre-conference championship shenanigans that would be hilarious, including a blizzard resulting in a dumb Ohio State and or Wisconsin loss that makes for a weird championship game that has no bearing on the CFP. The Championship Game will likely follow the same script as always. The West almost makes OSU look bad, and loses by a lot late because that’s how the playoffs happen.

MNW: Back in a simpler, pre-Northwestern Big Ten Championship Game era, these games would feature some excellent beatdowns. Assuming we’re hurtling for an Ohio State-wisconsin showdown again, I’m rooting for 59-0.

HWAHSQB: The Fighting Biellini make the game and face michigan and both teams combine to throw 11 passes and run the ball 87 times in a game that lasts 1 hr 40 minutes. Better yet, psu makes it and the Illini win 10-8 in eleventeen OT.

Which fan bases are confident in a win for the upcoming game? - beezer07

WSR: Even with Brian Ferentz on the other side, it ain’t Minnesota today. Is Mike Sanford Jr. still employed?

misdreavus79: Funny how this week shook out. Every game has some semblance of doubt in one way or another, so I guess I’ll go with Wisconsin? I think that’s the only game on the menu where the history of the games won’t have as much of an effect on the outcome as previous years.

Beez: Wisconsin fans will not be confident against NW, no matter how annually terrible, until Fitz is gone. I’d think Michigan fans feel pretty good about a win in any non-OSU game, given that they essentially won the game against MSU/had it stolen (source: Harbz saying ‘just trust me, bro’) and that MSU also lost this past week. And Michigan is good enough to be favored against everyone but OSU.

Jesse: I was confident Nebraska would win its Bye week, but here we are…

MNW: We still get to beat Illinois. Right?

... RIGHT?!

RockyMtnBlue: B1G isn’t just chaos and stupid football. It’s also “Ohio State gets whatever the hell it wants and nothing bad ever happens to it.” So the most B1G thing that could happen is really just what will actually happen: OSU will win the CCG. They won’t cover the spread, which will make everyone point and laugh at Michigan for having lost to this mediocre team by 40 the previous week. And they’ll go to the playoff as a 3 seed so they don’t have to lose to Georgia until the championship game.

HWAHSQB: It ain’t me, babe.

Is there a thanksgiving side that you occasionally make throughout the year? - WSR

WSR: I’m going to start this by saying that mashed potatoes don’t count because you could have them with nearly everything. But I like to make dressing a couple times a year, and the girls request biscuits about once a month and I’m a big ol’ softie that’ll just give in.

misdreavus79: No.

Jesse: I make stuffing / dressing all the time because it’s delicious and shouldn’t just be a Thanksgiving side. I also kinda live on gravy of all types, but similar to mashed potatoes, I’m not sure that’s fair to call a specifically Thanksgiving side. Uh, I also will eat green bean casserole on occasion throughout the year (from scratch though because condensed soup is gross).

MNW: I want to come to dinner at Jesse’s, because we definitely need to normalize eating stuffing at all times of the year.

RockyMtnBlue: I wish I did. I love me some stuffing. But in fact, no. I don’t even make turkey any time other than Thanksgiving.

HWAHSQB: We make mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and crescent rolls regularly. Cranberry sauce is always good. I should make sweet potatoes more often than I do. I really don’t know why because my wife and I love them.