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Don’t Watch This; Watch That: Your Week 12 Guide to the College Football Schedule Says Hello From Austin

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Now tell me where to go drink beer.

Hi! I figured I’d take a tour of all the cities where the 2021 Kansas Jayhawks have won a football game.

Only Lawrence, KS, to go.


In slightly more seriousness: I’m in Austin for about 24 more hours. Took a quick research trip in between teaching days, and I’ve already been spoiled by our own Jesse Collins with a trip to Loro for some brisket, wonton chips, sesame noodles, chicken karaage, and God knows what else.

Now I’m at Batch, east of UT, enjoying a sausage-jalapeno-and-cheese kolache, a coffee, and...oh yeah, they brew their own beer, too:

But you have other recommendations and I don’t have much time to write this. No soccer, volleyball, or wrestling recommendations, either—and did you hear we have basketball content here, too?

Leave me recommendations for Austin in the comments.

Thursday Evening

Don’t Watch This

{NFL} New England Patriots at Atlanta Falcons [7:20pm, FOX/NFLN]

{MBB} Alabama State at Iowa (-27.5, O/U 151.5) [6pm, BTN]
{MBB} Fairleigh Dickinson at Northwestern (-24.5, O/U 146) [8pm, BTN]

Watch That

Louisville Cardinals at Duke Blue Devils

6:30pm | ESPN | Lou -19.5 | O/U 60.5

{MBB} #19 Ohio State vs. Xavier Musketeers

5:30pm | FS1 | OSU -2.5 | O/U 135.5

{MBB} Rutgers Scarlet Knights at DePaul Blue Demons

7:30pm | FS1 | Rutgers -3.5 | O/U 134.5

Some truly sick shit tonight. Over/under on Super Bowl references in Pats-Falcons at 4.5.

Poll

I stuff my face full of barbecue, you watch...

This poll is closed

  • 19%
    Louisville-Duke SICKO SHIT TIME
    (21 votes)
  • 33%
    Gavitt Games?
    (36 votes)
  • 18%
    Other Big Ten basketball
    (20 votes)
  • 14%
    No, really, I ENJOY a Brady-less New England and a Falcons team that just lost by 40
    (16 votes)
  • 13%
    Text me your address and I’ll meet you for beers, MNW
    (14 votes)
107 votes total Vote Now

Friday Evening

Don’t Watch This

Southern Miss Golden Eagles at Louisiana Tech Bulldogs (-16.5, O/U 50.5) [7pm, CBSSN]
Arizona Wildcats at Washington State Cougars (-14.5, O/U 52.5) [8pm, Pac-12]

{MBB} Hofstra Pride at #20 Maryland [5:30pm, FS1]

Watch That

Memphis Tigers at #24 Houston Cougars

8pm | ESPN2 | UH -9.5 | O/U 60.5

Air Force Falcons at Nevada Wolf Pack

8pm | FS1 | Nevada -2 | O/U 52.5

#19 San Diego State Aztecs at UNLV Rebels

10:30pm | CBSSN | SDSU -11 | O/U 41

{MBB} #4 Michigan at UNLV

11:30pm | ESPN2 | Roman Main Event

I get to tailgate at the UH-Memphis game. Will report back.

The Mountain West has really been where the interest is at this year—though San Diego State needs to run the table and have BYU slip up (along with Cincinnati making it to the College Football Playoff) to have any hope of the NY6, it’s an outside shot...for Brady Hoke. Of all people.

UNLV is bad, but the Rebels have a laaaate game here and SDSU hasn’t won a game by more than a score since beating New Mexico 31-7 back on October 9. While the Rebs are Lobo-level bad, this one could keep us titillated into the wee hours of the morning...

...and then the Australian soccer starts. Right? Aussie soccer has moved to Paramount Plus and is now dead to me. Long live weird basketball late at night!

Poll

Poll

This poll is closed

  • 17%
    Memphis-Houston
    (16 votes)
  • 14%
    Air Force-Nevada
    (13 votes)
  • 9%
    SDSU-UNLV
    (9 votes)
  • 23%
    Basketball
    (22 votes)
  • 34%
    I’m mad you didn’t include another sport that would’ve cost you about 20 minutes of archives work, MNW
    (32 votes)
92 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Morning

Don’t Watch This

Purdue Boilermakers (-11, O/U 47.5) vs. Northwestern Wildcats [11am, BTN, Wrigley Cash Grab]
Charleston Southern Buccaneers at #1 Georgia Bulldogs [11am, SECN+]
#7 Michigan State Spartans at #4 Ohio State Buckeyes (-19, O/U 60.5) [11am, ABC]
Iowa State Cyclones at Oklahoma Sooners (-4, O/U 60.5) [11am, FOX]
—you know what I’m not listing all the Chickenshit Saturday games—
Florida Atlantic Owls at Western Kentucky Hilltoppers (-10, O/U 64.5) [11am, Stadium]
Florida State Seminoles at Boston College Eagles (-2, O/U 54.5)
Rutgers Scarlet Knights at Penn State Nittany Lions (-17, O/U 46) [11am, BTN]
UMass Minutemen at Army Black Knights (-37.5, O/U 56.5) [11am, CBSSN]
Texas Longhorns at West Virginia Mountaineers (-2.5, O/U 56.5)
Texas State Bobcats at Coastal Carolina Chanticleers (-22, O/U 59)

{EPL} Liverpool vs. Arsenal [11:30am, NBC]

Watch That

#12 Wake Forest Demon Deacons at Clemson Tigers

11am | ESPN | Clemson -4 | O/U 56.5

South Florida Bulls at Tulane Green Wave

11am | ESPN+ | Tulane -5.5 | O/U 60.5

Kent State Golden Flashes at Akron Zips

11am | ESPN+ | Kent -13.5 | O/U 75

{Bundesliga} Union Berlin vs. Hertha Berlin [11:30am, ESPN+]

The Wrigley field game is not only not on a national network, it’ll barely be seen by anyone east of Indiana because it’s farmed out to a regional production of BTN.

Great work, Jim Phillips! You really fucking killed it on the exposure here!

Poll

I’m more furious about Wrigley by the second.

This poll is closed

  • 6%
    Wake Forest-Clemson
    (8 votes)
  • 0%
    USF-Tulane
    (0 votes)
  • 6%
    WAGON WHEEL
    (8 votes)
  • 5%
    THE BERLIN DERBY
    (7 votes)
  • 80%
    some big ten football shit
    (96 votes)
119 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Afternoon

Don’t Watch This

Illinois Fighting Illini at #17 Iowa Hawkeyes (-12, O/U 38.5) [1pm, FS1]
Arkansas State Red Wolves at Georgia State Panthers (-17, O/U 63.5) [1pm, ESPN3]
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets at #8 Notre Dame Fighting Irish (-17, O/U 59.5) [1:30pm, NBC]
Washington Huskies (-6.5, O/U 43) at Colorado Buffaloes [2pm, Pac-12]
#6 Michigan Wolverines (-15, O/U 56) at Maryland Terrapins [2:30pm, BTN]
Nebraska Cornhuskers at wisconsin badgers (-9.5, O/U 42) [2:30pm, ABC]
Virginia Cavaliers at Pittsburgh Panthers (-14.5, O/U 66) [2:30pm, ESPN2]
Marshall Thundering Herd (-15, O/U 62) at Charlotte 49ers [2:30pm, Stadium]
Old Dominion Monarchs at Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders (-3.5, O/U 50.5) [2:30pm, ESPN+]
Minnesota Golden Gophers (-7, O/U 43.5) at Indiana Hoosiers [2:30pm, BTN]
East Carolina Pirates (-4, O/U 46.5) at Navy Midshipmen [2:30pm, CBSSN]
Appalachian State Mountaineers (-10, O/U 51.5) at Troy Trojans [2:30pm, ESPN+]
BYU Cougars (-20, O/U 58) at Georgia Southern Eagles [3pm, ESPN+]
Syracuse Orange at NC State Wolfpack (-11, O/U 50.5) [3pm, ACCN]
Florida Gators (-8.5, O/U 69.5) at Missouri Tigers [3pm, SECN]
Rice Owls at UTEP Miners (-10, O/U 47.5) [3pm, ESPN+]
UConn Huskies at UCF Citronauts (-30.5, O/U 55.5) [3pm, ESPN+ — CIVIL CONFLICT]
Louisiana Ragin’ Cajuns at Fightin’ Falwells (-4, O/U 53) [3pm, ESPNU]
Kansas Jayhawks at TCU Horned Frogs (-22, O/U 64.5) [3pm, ESPN+]
Temple Owls at Tulsa Golden Hurricane (-21.5, O/U 51) [3pm, ESPN+]
Baylor Bears (-1, O/U 50) at Kansas State Wildcats [4:30pm, FS1]

{MLS} Philadelphia Union vs. New York Red Bulls [1:30pm, TUDN/ESPN+]
{CPL} Cavalry vs. Pacific [2pm, Fox Soccer Plus]
{MLS} Sporting Kansas City vs. Vancouver Whitecaps [4pm, TUDN/ESPN+]

Watch That

SMU Mustangs at #5 Cincinnati Bearcats

2:30pm | ESPN | Cincy -11.5 | O/U 65

UAB Blazers at #22 UTSA Roadrunners

2:30pm | ESPN+ | UTSA -4.5 | O/U 53.5

UCLA Bruins at USC Trojans

3pm | FOX | UCLA -3 | O/U 65.5

{MBB} #18 North Carolina vs. #6 Purdue

3pm | ESPNNews | Cheez-It Hall of Fame Tip-Off, Uncasville, CT

A blessed Civil ConFLiCT to all who celebrate.

apparently no one

Whether the Trojans can bring Chip Kelly down with them is modestly interesting. Certainly more interesting that the absolute misery that is the Big Ten slate in the afternoon—never forget that in recent memory, Illinois went a whole game against Iowa without kicking off once.

Get well soon, Bert.

Poll

An afternoon of games, that is for sure!

This poll is closed

  • 11%
    SMU-Cincy
    (15 votes)
  • 1%
    UAB-UTSA
    (2 votes)
  • 3%
    UCLA-USC
    (5 votes)
  • 22%
    North Carolina-Purdue
    (28 votes)
  • 45%
    my big ten team is playing
    (57 votes)
  • 15%
    anything else
    (19 votes)
126 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Evening

Don’t Watch This

Auburn Tigers (-7.5, O/U 44.5) at South Carolina Gamecocks [6pm, ESPN]
North Texas Mean Green (-10, O/U 58) at Florida International Sunblazers [6pm, ESPN3]
Vanderbilt Commodores at Ole Miss Rebels (-36.5, O/U 64.5) [6:30pm, SECN]
Virginia Tech Hokies at Miami Hurricanes (-8, O/U 55.5) [6:30pm, ACCN]
Oklahoma State Cowboys (-10.5, O/U 56.5) at Texas Tech Red Raiders [7pm, FOX]

{Liga MX} Santos Laguna vs. Atletico San Luis [7pm, Fox Soccer Plus]

Watch That

California Golden Bears at Stanford Cardinal

6pm | Pac-12 | EVEN | O/U 45.5

Oregon Ducks at Utah Utes

6:30pm | ABC | Utah -3 | O/U 59

Wyoming Cowboys at Utah State Aggies

7pm | CBSSN | USU -5.5 | O/U 52.5

Sorry, I said I wouldn’t list anymore Chickenshit Saturday games, and then I put Vandy-Ole Miss up there without thinking. Lane Kiffin should be publicly pilloried for lining up such a sad-sack program ahead of the Egg Bowl.

Please listen to the Texas Tech radio announcers filling their diapers during the Tech-Iowa State game last weekend:

Anywho, I’m sure a legitimate #3 team in the nation would be 3-point dogs at fucking Utah.

Poll

G’devening

This poll is closed

  • 2%
    Cal-Furd
    (3 votes)
  • 40%
    Oregon-Utah
    (43 votes)
  • 2%
    Wyoming-Utah State
    (3 votes)
  • 4%
    something else
    (5 votes)
  • 1%
    soccer
    (2 votes)
  • 17%
    god you’re mailing it in
    (19 votes)
  • 29%
    i want barbecue
    (32 votes)
107 votes total Vote Now

It’s late and I’m drunk...

Don’t Watch This

UL Monroe Warhawks at LSU Tigers (-29, O/U 57.5) [8pm, ESPN2]
New Mexico Lobos at Boise State Broncos (-27, O/U 48) [8pm, FS1]

{Liga MX} Puebla vs. Chivas [9pm, TUDN]

Watch That

Arizona State Sun Devils at Oregon State Beavers

9:30pm | ESPN | ASU -3 | O/U 59.5

Colorado State Rams at Hawai’i Rainbow Warriors

10pm | Team1Sports (mobile/tablet only) | CSU -2 | O/U 54

I just remembered that I got invited to a going-away party on Saturday afternoon for a vague friend/acquaintance from New Zealand who’s going back to New Zealand for the first time in a long time. So that’ll be fun—I hope the bar has Illinois-Iowa on.

The only thing I regret about where I live in Houston is riding the bus drunk back to my apartment. That takes FOREVER.

Poll

games

This poll is closed

  • 29%
    Sparky-Beav
    (27 votes)
  • 7%
    Rams-Bows
    (7 votes)
  • 1%
    Warhawks-Tigers
    (1 vote)
  • 1%
    Lobos-Broncos
    (1 vote)
  • 2%
    other soccer
    (2 votes)
  • 8%
    whatever the bar has on
    (8 votes)
  • 50%
    lol i passed out hours ago
    (46 votes)
92 votes total Vote Now

Leave those recommendations. Enjoy the games.