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Just because our season in this glorious sport is short, doesn’t mean folks don’t get tired.
The Consequences Of Expansion
Despite their loss to conference rival North Carolina, Wake Forest remains undefeated in conference play.
Saturday’s contest was a non-conference game. This is an inevitable consequence of conference expansion; in the 14-team ACC, the two longtime rivals that played every year from 1888 to 2007 got split up so that they had five years between games. They then did something I’d actually like to see more of: put each other on the non-conference schedule to keep the rivalry going. Michigan and Minnesota should be doing that. ILLINUTGERS doesn’t have to die.
It’s a hopeful thing to see in this day and age, actually trying to preserve a rivalry in the face of Disney’s revenue optimization of the sport. We’ll see how long the concept of rivalry games survives.
Sam Shartman
In that game, Wake Forest quarterback Sam Hartman absolutely went off, but ultimately didn’t have quite enough in him to pull off the comeback. Behold:
Boof! pic.twitter.com/NJKANkY0vV
— The Comeback (@thecomeback) November 6, 2021
You generally want to lead the ref a little there and put it chest high
Illinois Is Gonna Keep Trying This Until It Works God Dammit
The Fighting Illini dialed up their patented Reverse Pass yet again with their third different passer. This time, kicker/punt return man/receiver/man of many talents Caleb Griffin got the throw.
Illinois is now 0 for 4 on reverse passes in 2021.
Minnesota Imitates Their Competition
Minnesota exceeded 395 yards of offense against Nebraska, Maryland and Ohio State, winning the former two handily. These are teams with fairly good offenses. So what happens when they face a team with a rather bad offense?
— IllinoisLoyalty (@IllinoisLoyalty) November 6, 2021
Minnesota woke up the echoes of their loss to Bowling Green, with Tanner Morgan’s stats being helped a lot by a late touchdown drive against a tired defense but still containing no touchdowns and 2 picks just like the BGSU game.
Iowa is up next.
Oregon Continues To Benefit From Opponents Shitting Selves
Oregon has done about everything in their power to lose in the PAC-12, succeeding once against a rather bad Stanford team. This time, Washington had the ball down one score. Until...
SAFETY ALERT !!! WASHINGTON SNAPS IT OUT OF THEIR OWN ENDZONE!! pic.twitter.com/qU0IBcg3yH
— Sickos Committee (@SickosCommittee) November 7, 2021
I’ve certainly seen better do-or-die drives
Can’t Let You Do That, Fox
Tempe seems like an interesting place
FOX ON THE FIELD pic.twitter.com/74HpVMlPHy
— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) November 7, 2021
This fox ended up running all the way up the stairs out of the stadium through the concourse, which might mark the first time I’ve ever seen an animal escape the stadium through the human exits.
I’ve Won. Exactly As Planned.
Still photography can produce some incredible results with snapshots of faces in dynamic and intense moments. Finally, I’ve seen a worthy challenger to Brandon Lloyd casually smiling at the camera as he lays out for a touchdown
— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) November 8, 2021
It’s basically the football version of this scene:
Iowa Playing Northwestern Should Always Be Protested
Basically, this entire game was a tart. Iowa won the turnover battle 3-0 and had even yardage, but won by just five points. Part of this was because they went 2 for 14 on third downs. That’s just incredible.
The game was interrupted by a protest that was complete with a banner and some large signs. Unfortunately, they faced the sideline where the press box and the TV cameras weren’t.
Protest stops the Iowa-Northwestern game.
— Cork Gaines (@CorkGaines) November 7, 2021
What are they protesting? No idea. They are facing the wrong way. pic.twitter.com/QYaheTV246
Penn State Opens Up Basketball Season
This one won’t count because it’s basketball, but Penn State deleted the following:
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If you don’t know what this is, someone in the comments will inform you. There’s just no way anyone’s doing it on accident anymore, although those hands lack the telltale golden wedding band that is the signature of this particular motif.
I for one can’t believe it has the cultural staying power it does. When I first saw it in the early aughts, I couldn’t have imagined we’d be seeing references in 2021.
How Do You Think He Feels?
A silly question got a wonderful answer:
— no context college football (@nocontextcfb) November 7, 2021
This reminds me of the immortal Ichiro being asked a question about what he’s feeling about to face Daisuke Matsuzaka (y’know, because they’re both Japanese!). He produced the exact answer this question seemed to want:
I hope he arouses the fire that’s dormant in the innermost recesses of my soul. I plan to face him with the zeal of a challenger
Ichiro is a legend
Iowa State fans know their opponent
Looks like the Cyclones came prepared and read the news.
I don't have words. pic.twitter.com/cfl2DeM6wt
— Dubs (@Dubs964) November 6, 2021
If you don’t get the reference, this is about the monkey attack and stripper girlfriend from last week’s Fall’s Tarts
Sometimes you bust a move, and sometimes a move busts you.
The Florida Gators have been employing a curious quarterback rotation with Emory Jones and Anthony Richardson. In their mauling at the hands of South Carolina, Jones got every snap. Here’s why:
Dan Mullen confirms the tale that was going around this weekend: QB Anthony Richardson hurt his knee dancing in the hotel on Friday night.
— Andy Staples (@Andy_Staples) November 8, 2021
He said he could have played Saturday, but hadn't practiced until Thursday because that's when he was cleared.
I’m not aware of any Ukrainian heritage in Richardson’s background, but if he does have any, I suppose there’s just not much you can do to prevent this:
Get At Me
If I’m not in a game thread and you see a tart, find me on Twitter @thumpasaurus1 and use the hashtag #FallsTarts to help me out! I’m not gonna be watching much football this weekend, so now’s a good time to start!
Poll
Week 10’s best tart
This poll is closed
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0%
Conference No Conference
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6%
Checkdown to ref
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2%
Illinois 0/4 on Reverse Passes
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6%
Minnesota Only Sucks Against Bad Offenses
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9%
Washington Snaps Out Of It
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9%
Don’t get too cocky, Fox
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4%
I Have You Now
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34%
Protest this awful game
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4%
Great Joy Abounds
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20%
ISU successful troll
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2%
Ants In Pants, Need To Dance