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Fall’s Tarts Week 10: College Football Has Fallen And It Can’t Get Up

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From the players to the broadcasts to security, fatigue is setting in all of a sudden

NCAA Football: Oregon at Washington Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

Just because our season in this glorious sport is short, doesn’t mean folks don’t get tired.

The Consequences Of Expansion

Despite their loss to conference rival North Carolina, Wake Forest remains undefeated in conference play.

Saturday’s contest was a non-conference game. This is an inevitable consequence of conference expansion; in the 14-team ACC, the two longtime rivals that played every year from 1888 to 2007 got split up so that they had five years between games. They then did something I’d actually like to see more of: put each other on the non-conference schedule to keep the rivalry going. Michigan and Minnesota should be doing that. ILLINUTGERS doesn’t have to die.

It’s a hopeful thing to see in this day and age, actually trying to preserve a rivalry in the face of Disney’s revenue optimization of the sport. We’ll see how long the concept of rivalry games survives.

Sam Shartman

In that game, Wake Forest quarterback Sam Hartman absolutely went off, but ultimately didn’t have quite enough in him to pull off the comeback. Behold:

You generally want to lead the ref a little there and put it chest high

Illinois Is Gonna Keep Trying This Until It Works God Dammit

The Fighting Illini dialed up their patented Reverse Pass yet again with their third different passer. This time, kicker/punt return man/receiver/man of many talents Caleb Griffin got the throw.

Illinois is now 0 for 4 on reverse passes in 2021.

Minnesota Imitates Their Competition

Minnesota exceeded 395 yards of offense against Nebraska, Maryland and Ohio State, winning the former two handily. These are teams with fairly good offenses. So what happens when they face a team with a rather bad offense?

Minnesota woke up the echoes of their loss to Bowling Green, with Tanner Morgan’s stats being helped a lot by a late touchdown drive against a tired defense but still containing no touchdowns and 2 picks just like the BGSU game.

Iowa is up next.

Oregon Continues To Benefit From Opponents Shitting Selves

Oregon has done about everything in their power to lose in the PAC-12, succeeding once against a rather bad Stanford team. This time, Washington had the ball down one score. Until...

I’ve certainly seen better do-or-die drives

Can’t Let You Do That, Fox

Tempe seems like an interesting place

This fox ended up running all the way up the stairs out of the stadium through the concourse, which might mark the first time I’ve ever seen an animal escape the stadium through the human exits.

I’ve Won. Exactly As Planned.

Still photography can produce some incredible results with snapshots of faces in dynamic and intense moments. Finally, I’ve seen a worthy challenger to Brandon Lloyd casually smiling at the camera as he lays out for a touchdown

It’s basically the football version of this scene:

Iowa Playing Northwestern Should Always Be Protested

Basically, this entire game was a tart. Iowa won the turnover battle 3-0 and had even yardage, but won by just five points. Part of this was because they went 2 for 14 on third downs. That’s just incredible.

The game was interrupted by a protest that was complete with a banner and some large signs. Unfortunately, they faced the sideline where the press box and the TV cameras weren’t.

Penn State Opens Up Basketball Season

This one won’t count because it’s basketball, but Penn State deleted the following:

If you don’t know what this is, someone in the comments will inform you. There’s just no way anyone’s doing it on accident anymore, although those hands lack the telltale golden wedding band that is the signature of this particular motif.

I for one can’t believe it has the cultural staying power it does. When I first saw it in the early aughts, I couldn’t have imagined we’d be seeing references in 2021.

How Do You Think He Feels?

A silly question got a wonderful answer:

This reminds me of the immortal Ichiro being asked a question about what he’s feeling about to face Daisuke Matsuzaka (y’know, because they’re both Japanese!). He produced the exact answer this question seemed to want:

I hope he arouses the fire that’s dormant in the innermost recesses of my soul. I plan to face him with the zeal of a challenger

Ichiro is a legend

Iowa State fans know their opponent

Looks like the Cyclones came prepared and read the news.

If you don’t get the reference, this is about the monkey attack and stripper girlfriend from last week’s Fall’s Tarts

Sometimes you bust a move, and sometimes a move busts you.

The Florida Gators have been employing a curious quarterback rotation with Emory Jones and Anthony Richardson. In their mauling at the hands of South Carolina, Jones got every snap. Here’s why:

I’m not aware of any Ukrainian heritage in Richardson’s background, but if he does have any, I suppose there’s just not much you can do to prevent this:

Get At Me

If I’m not in a game thread and you see a tart, find me on Twitter @thumpasaurus1 and use the hashtag #FallsTarts to help me out! I’m not gonna be watching much football this weekend, so now’s a good time to start!

Poll

Week 10’s best tart

This poll is closed

  • 0%
    Conference No Conference
    (2 votes)
  • 6%
    Checkdown to ref
    (15 votes)
  • 2%
    Illinois 0/4 on Reverse Passes
    (6 votes)
  • 6%
    Minnesota Only Sucks Against Bad Offenses
    (14 votes)
  • 9%
    Washington Snaps Out Of It
    (20 votes)
  • 9%
    Don’t get too cocky, Fox
    (21 votes)
  • 4%
    I Have You Now
    (9 votes)
  • 34%
    Protest this awful game
    (75 votes)
  • 4%
    Great Joy Abounds
    (9 votes)
  • 20%
    ISU successful troll
    (44 votes)
  • 2%
    Ants In Pants, Need To Dance
    (5 votes)
220 votes total Vote Now