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Don’t Watch This; Watch That: Your Guide to the FCS Playoffs, Army-Navy, and the Weekend in College Football

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How many of the college basketball nicknames in Division 1 can YOU name?

NCAA Football: Navy at Army Danny Wild-USA TODAY Sports

I’m not good at much.

But it’s Friday at 3:30 and there’s football this weekend and I’m out of ideas and need something to fill space so you know what to watch this weekend and what not to watch this weekend.

Name as many D-I college basketball nicknames as you can in 20 minutes:

As your motivation, here’s my time:

I personally prefer this more punishing “non-P6 only”—there’s no way to do all 357 because Sporcle limits you to 300 rows—but that’s a little harsh:

Still, though, something to...strive?...for:

Enjoy.

Friday Night

Don’t Watch This

{MBB} DePaul at Louisville [7pm, ACCN]
{NBA} Brooklyn Nets at Atlanta Hawks [6pm, ESPN]
{NBA} Boston Celtics at Phoenix Suns [9pm, ESPN]

{WRST} #12 Rutgers vs. Army [6pm, BTN+]

{MHKY} Michigan State at Notre Dame [6:30pm, NBCSN]

{MSOC} Notre Dame vs. Clemson [5pm, ESPNU]
{MSOC} Washington vs. Georgetown [7:30pm, ESPNU]

Watch That

#6 Montana Grizzlies at #3 James Madison Dukes

6pm | ESPN2 | JMU -7.5 | O/U 45.5

{MHKY} Michigan at Ohio State

6pm | BTN

{MBB} Loyola-Chicago Ramblers at Vanderbilt Commodores

7pm | SECN+ | LUC -4.5 | O/U 132

The quarterfinals of the FCS Playoffs and semifinals of both D-II and D-III are this weekend—you can get a head start tonight by watching Montana take on James Madison. The Griz...well, they play it right on the line. A lot of hard-nosed tackling and extracurriculars as they used a swarming defense and punishing run game to put the hurt on Eastern Washington last weekend.

I assume James Madison is good because they’re always good. But did you remember that they’re the Dukes?

Poll

Good evening. What are you watching?

This poll is closed

  • 45%
    This is a football blog, so obviously Montana-James Madison.
    (19 votes)
  • 19%
    This is a Big Ten blog, so obviously Michigan-Ohio State hockey.
    (8 votes)
  • 21%
    This is a Sicko blog, so obviously Loyola-Vanderbilt basketball.
    (9 votes)
  • 14%
    I’m lost and watching the NBA, can you point me to something good instead?
    (6 votes)
42 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Morning

Don’t Watch This

{FCS} #7 East Tennessee State Buccaneers at #2 North Dakota State Future Economic Refugees Finding Temporary Housing in Minneapolis-St. Paul and Putters-of-Raisins-in-Potato-Salad Bizon (-25.5, O/U 49) [11am, ESPN]
{D-III} North Central Cardinals at Mount Union Purple Raiders [11am, ESPN+]

{MBB} #22 wisconsin at #21 Ohio State [11am, BTN]

{Serie A} Venezia vs. Juventus [11am, Paramount+]
{Bundesliga} Wolfsburg vs. Stuttgart [11:30am, ESPN+]
{EPL} Norwich City vs. Manchester United [11:30am, NBC]
{La Liga} Valencia vs. Elche [11:30am, ESPN+]

Watch That

{D-II} #1 Colorado Mines Orediggers at #1 Valdosta State Blazers

11am | ESPN+ | Semifinals

{MBB} Nebraska vs. #18 Auburn Tigers

10:30am | ESPN2 | Holiday Hoopsgiving, Atlanta, GA

I’ll cop to being embarrassed that I didn’t need to look up any of the team nicknames in this one. Though the Orediggers logo is cool and memorable:

And Golden is a damn cool town:

The Orediggers hamblasted the Bemidji State Beavers—chew ‘em, Beavs—55-6 in the Round of 16, then escaped the Angelo State Rams—finally, one I had to look at the logo for—34-26 in the quarters. Valdosta scores a lot of points and, it turns out, is the alma mater of my assistant dean’s wife, so I had an earnest conversation about Valdosta State football earlier this week.

Go Orediggers.

Poll

Saturday morning?

This poll is closed

  • 16%
    Mines-Valdosta
    (8 votes)
  • 22%
    NDSU-ETSA
    (11 votes)
  • 2%
    UNL-Auburn hoops
    (1 vote)
  • 34%
    Other Big Ten hoops
    (17 votes)
  • 24%
    idk soccer or something
    (12 votes)
49 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Afternoon

Don’t Watch This

{D-II} #2 Shepherd Shepherds vs. #1 Ferris State Bulldogs [2:30pm, ESPN+]
{D-III} Mary Hardin-Baylor Bears, maybe at UW-Whitewater Little Badgers [2:30pm, ESPN+]

{MBB} Penn State at #19 Michigan State [1pm, BTN]

{WRST} Michigan State vs. Gardner-Webb [5pm, ESPN+]
{WRST} Maryland vs. Navy [5pm, BTN+]

{MLS Cup} Portland Timbers vs. New York City FC [2pm, ABC]

{Arab Cup} Morocco vs. Algeria [1pm, FS2]
{Serie A} Udinese vs Milan [1:45pm, Paramount+]
{La Liga} Athletic Bilbao vs. Sevilla [2pm, ESPN+]
{Ligue 1} Reims vs. Saint-Étienne [2pm, beIN]

Watch That

Army Black Knights vs. Navy Midshipmen

2pm | CBS | Army -7 | O/U 34.5

{FCS} South Dakota State Jackrabbits at #5 Villanova Wildcats

1pm | ESPN+ | SDSU -7 | O/U 47.5

{VB} #3 Pittsburgh vs. #6 Purdue Boilermakers

3pm | ESPNU | Elite Eight

{MBB} #11 Arizona Wildcats at Illinois Fighting Illini

4pm | FOX

One of the greatest games in college sports needs no justification. Watch Army-Navy or you’re a communist socialist Canadian.

Poll

Saturday afternoon, at the end of which I will have to put a green bean casserole in the oven and prepare for Friendsmas:

This poll is closed

  • 63%
    Army-Navy
    (46 votes)
  • 2%
    South Dakota State-Villanova
    (2 votes)
  • 5%
    Pitt-Purdue
    (4 votes)
  • 1%
    Arizona-Illinois
    (1 vote)
  • 1%
    Other football
    (1 vote)
  • 1%
    Other basketball
    (1 vote)
  • 15%
    Actually I’m a communist
    (11 votes)
  • 9%
    No, Mr. Green: Communism was just a red herring
    (7 votes)
73 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Evening

Don’t Watch This

{VB} #1 Louisville vs. #8 Georgia Tech [5pm, ESPNU]

{MHKY} Michigan State at Notre Dame [6pm, NBCSN]
{MHKY} Michigan at Ohio State [7pm, BTN]

Watch That

{VB} #4 Wisconsin Badgers vs. #12 Minnesota Gophers

5pm | ESPNU | Elite Eight

{MBB} Minnesota at Michigan

5:30pm | FS1

{FCS} #8 Montana State Bobcats at #1 Sam Houston State Bearkats

7:30pm | ESPN+ | SHSU -7 | O/U 48.5

I’m not going to look it up, but there can’t be some NBA action more exciting than Montana State-Sam Houston State on ESPN.

Oh, wait, there’s some bad basketball. Well, I’m possibly going to miss my flight, so no time to tell you about it. Watch the football instead.

Poll

I’ll be at Friendsmas, anyway

This poll is closed

  • 35%
    Gopher-badger volleyball!
    (19 votes)
  • 24%
    Gopher-Wolverine basketball
    (13 votes)
  • 16%
    (Bobc/Beark)at football
    (9 votes)
  • 24%
    Something else
    (13 votes)
54 votes total Vote Now

It’s late and I’m drunk...

Don’t Watch This

idk basketball probably

Watch That

{VB} #2 Texas vs. #10 Nebraska Cornhuskers

9pm | ESPNU | Elite Eight

{MBB} #14 Houston Cougars at #9 Alabama Crimson Tide

9pm | ESPN2

Go Coogs.

Poll

Holy shit I might actually miss this flight

This poll is closed

  • 25%
    Volleyball
    (13 votes)
  • 3%
    Houston-Alabama
    (2 votes)
  • 1%
    Other basketball
    (1 vote)
  • 44%
    I just want to register how much I love you, MNW, missing a flight to write this horseshit
    (23 votes)
  • 7%
    whatever the bar has on
    (4 votes)
  • 17%
    lol i passed out hours ago
    (9 votes)
52 votes total Vote Now

Go study your mascots and beat my score! Here’s your thread for the night’s—and maybe weekend’s—action. Behave and have fun.