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Sunday Morning Coming Down // CCG

Not With a Whimper, But a Groan

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: DEC 04 Big Ten Championship Game - Michigan v Iowa Photo by Brian Spurlock/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Ten B1G Things

  1. The Jim Harbaugh Strategy, by which you pay a coach an obscene amount of money for winning no titles and losing bowl games, has finally been put to the grave
  2. Long live the Revised Jim Harbaugh Strategy, where by you pay a coach a slightly more sane amount of money and incentivize actually winning something
  3. Also, you have to wait for OSU to finally have a mildly down year as a team with freshman QB
  4. Congratulations to Michigan on ending their 18-year drought on outright B1G titles
  5. Congratulations to Michigan on ending their 17-year drought on B1G titles period
  6. Congratulations to Michigan on the upcoming bloodbath, which will likely feature Georgia
  7. Congratulations to Michigan DE Aidan Hutchinson on being the first defensive player to win the CCG MVP award
  8. Congratulations to Iowa for making good time on the drive to the airport
  9. Congratulations to Wisconsin for dodging this beating for the price of one old axe
  10. Kirk Ferentz took last night’s game as a sign that everything is working well
  11. The West, which is very much every bit as good as the East, is now 0-for-8 in the B1G title game...which is surely just an anomaly
  12. Now all the B1G teams get to play up a slot in the post-season, which is very fine indeed
  13. I, for one, am excited to hea from Michigan fans that getting smoked by a southern power in a bowl game should not be derided, nor is it proof that their team didn’t belong
  14. Another season in the books, gang. Hard to believe it, but this is my 8th season of SMCD! It’s been great to stay in touch with many of you through this weekly scribble. If you had told me in 2014 that I’d do this article for so long, and where my life would be at this juncture, I’d have riddled you with mockery and scorn. And yet, here I am. It’s been a long year for most everyone—including you fine folks, I’d venture. I hope you’re surviving and thriving. If not, well, as they say in football...there’s always next year!

The Rundown

After Kristmasbowlgameski: Wheeeeee Fiesta Bowl!


Let’s go back to the video tape:

”Iowa’s offense is terrible.” Yup. Still is.

”Petras is a statue with poor pocket awareness. Iowa’s OL, specifically the OTs have been terrible. Michigan has 2 of the best DEs in the country.” Yup. So much so that Petras got rocked enough times that he was pulled after the half.

”While Iowa’s defense is borderline elite, they typically take a couple of series to make adjustments and really turn the screws.” Yup. Michigan took advantage on the first two series with some great play calls that were the longest run play, and longest pass plays against this Iowa defense, both for touchdowns.

”So maybe a big special teams play? After all, Iowa does have the best special teams in the country, and fuck, Michigan is right there at #2.” Tory Taylor buried Michigan within the ten a few times, but Michigan outplayed Iowa’s special teams overall, with a blocked punt, and limiting Iowa’s return game.

”Make it ugly and keep it close? Sure, I think that’s entirely plausible, if even likely.” Ok, so I didn’t get everything right. All the process things were even more pronounced than I thought. Still, this was never really going to work.10 wins and the outright division champs.

That’s pretty good. I shouldn’t be complaining about that.

And yet.

And yet.

This offense is inexcusably bad. The players aren’t this bad. That’s on the coaches. DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

Spoiler: they won’t.


RMB: Michigan shared the big10 title in 2004. It was Michigan’s 42nd conference title, and at that time the longest Michigan had ever gone without a conference title was 9 years. And then 17 long, painful years went by. And then yesterday happened. For the second straight week Michigan took a small lead into halftime in a huge game. For the second straight week Michigan came out in the 2nd half, forced a punt, and opened the lead. This time Michigan won the 2nd half 28-0. The last two weeks combined, Michigan has had 9 meaningful 2nd half possessions and has scored touchdowns in 8 of them. In the process, Michigan beat OSU for the first time since 2011, and then played hero to the conference, saving us all from Iowa getting blasted by Utah in the Rose Bowl. I don’t know what Michigan will do in the playoff. I hope Michigan doesn’t get blown out by some horrible score like 31-0 or 28-0. But even if we do it’s a fantastic season.

GF3: Counterpoint: fuck Michigan, and may they lose by 100 touchdowns and all get papercuts under their thumbnails, and my Georgia or whomever else they play go for two even though they have the game won...unless they find a way to go for three.