Because shit, y’all. Tom Izzo’s at it again. And I hate it.
I hate it so much.
Friday, February 26: Preview
Purdue Boilermakers at Penn State Nittany Lions
6pm | FS1 | PSU -1.5 | O/U 138.5
BoilerBettor: Purdue plays Penn State tonight. The game flipped from the Boilers being favored to Penn State.
Purdue needs to win this game to keep pace for a potential double-bye (these are words I never thought would come from my mouth at the start of conference play). Therefore, I fully expect Purdue to choke this one away as Penn State wrestles their way through this game.
And expect fouls. Lots of ‘em.
Big Ten Recaps
Tuesday, February 23
Green Akers: My final analysis: LOLWUT
ok ok let me get into this a bit further: MSU was helped considerably by Illinois being totally disinterested - missing 15 free throws total and 12 layups in the first half alone - but finally getting a close simulation of the pre-injury Josh Langford was huge, too, as it gives Aaron Henry SOMEONE to run with offensively.
Thump: We’re losing in the first round of the ncaa tournament and also the big ten tournament. Because we can’t play ranked teams in those games so we can’t fucking be bothered. Ilinois has the most talented team in the Big Ten and losses to Maryland and MSU to show for it.
BRT: Man. Just short! Amazing game from Teddy Allen who had 41 points, and a generally fun one to watch. Nice to see Nebraska be able to get back into games without it seeming to require a full-blown act of God.
Green Akers: Doesn’t feel like Nebby has the gas to pull this one out, but how did nobody mention the exemplary Herbie unis they’re rocking? Also, Teddy Allen’s going Full Coble, MNW.
BRT: Obese German Herbie!
GA: There must be a picture out there somewhere of Brant Banks wearing that jersey and I would very much like to see it.
Wednesday, February 24
Green Akers: Good grief these two teams are a couple of drunk inflatable waving arm men right now. [edited later for context: this was middle stages of the first half]
RU in VA [another new recapper!]: Is Trayce Jackson-Davis (hereby referred to in perpetuity as TJ-D) a center? Is he a forward? Is he regretting signing up to play for Archie Miller? Does he even care what a Hoosier actually is? A lot of questions.
Man, a woke Ron Harper and a missed payment to the officials earmarked for Myles Johnson is scary. Rutgers gets the best home cooking officiating in the country next to Sparty. I said it.
Thursday, February 25
#3 Michigan Wolverines 79, #9 Iowa Hawkeyes 57
RockyMtnBlue: What an awful game. Between Michigan’s complete inability to run their offense in the first half, Iowa losing TWO players to injury (one was on crutches later), the repeated stoppages for review, Dick Vitale on the mic…
Yes. I just bitched about a 22 point win over a top 10 team in the last week of February. Fuck me I’ve become an Ohio State football fan.
#5 Illinois 86, Nebraska 70
Like the teams in this game, let us agree to shake hands, acknowledge it went the way it was supposed to, and pretend it never happened.
Michigan State 71, #4 Ohio State 67
BoilerBettor: BY GAWD, THAT’S TOM IZZO’S MUSIC.
Green Akers: I am so confused. MSU turned it over 15 times, shot 4/15 from deep against a top 5 team and still won. But then you look at the box score, and although Washington and Liddell combined for 35 points, it took them 29 shots to do it, while MSU got at least moderate efficiency from Henry and Gabe Brown.
Last note: while it might seem like Holtmann picked a weird play to go berserk over considering it consisted of Liddell throwing his shoulder into a stationary Thomas Kithier twice and, for once, not extracting a call, consider that OSU went on an 11-2 run immediately after the tech. So that’s really another exhibit in Holtmann knowing exactly what buttons to push with his guys.
But. As BB said. BAH GAWD THAT’S TOM IZZO’S MUSIC.
MaximumSam: Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight is sage advice. Izzo has dialed up the Sparty level to 11, and with it they are going to fight you on every rebound and grab the soul of anyone near the basket. It would have been rather nice to have fellow bruiser Kyle Young for a fight like that, but he got popped in the head against Michigan and apparently that is frowned upon these days.
Still, I enjoyed seeing Chris Holtmann go apoplectic on the refs. Not that I had any major problems with the refs, but when you are watching a wrestling match you want to see some chairs thrown. The only thing missing was Sting appearing in the rafters. If OSU catches Sparty again in the BTT I hope we get Zed Key appearing in Legion of Doom facepaint and sporting some spiked shoulder pads.
Northwestern Wildcats 67, Minnesota Golden Gophers 59
WSR: My Northwestern-Minnesota recap: fuck that game. The film should be sent to the Hague.
MNW: Holy fuck Minnesota cannot shoot. At all.
If there’s anything disappointing, it’s that this is probably the last we’ll see of Richard Pitino. It just HAS to be, right? That’s now five of six that Minnesota has lost at home to Northwestern.
But definitely dig a hole and throw this film in there. I tuned in at about 10:25pm Eastern when the ‘Cats had a 5-point lead and saw, on three fucking consecutive possessions, Ty Berry and Boo Buie drive aimlessly into the lane on a fast break and throw the ball away. THREE POSSESSIONS.
This game answered no questions about Northwestern other than “Will they lose 14 games in a row?” and answered—or it should answer—for Gophers fans any remaining questions about Lil’ Dicky’s time in Minneapolis.
It’s time to take him out behind the Barn.
This poll is closed
Michigan State. Shit.
Rutgers! They’re in the Dance!
Michigan. Top 10 win ain’t nothing to sneeze at.
NORTHWESTERN WON A GAME!
And, your favorite: Worst week.
This poll is closed
Someone give Thump a hug.
Someone give Lil’ Dicky a LinkedIn Premium subscription as he updates that resume.