Man, it’s...it’s been a Purdue Boilermakers Week, huh?
Babaoreally is a champ, and if you haven’t yet given his stuff a look, stop what you’re doing and go back and read it all right now. We also remembered some Purdue QBs and considered that Purdue probably needs a running back and hasn’t really had a running back in a while.
But today? Today we’ll tell you how the Boilermakers are going to finish in 2021.
Oh, and we’ll reopen a Midwestern debate and look at one of the finest institutions in West Lafayette.
Food: Cheap Pop
Here’s where I’d say something about The Discount Den, a place where you go for both shirts and apparently pop?
1. Soda, or pop?
(I’m definitely not culling the herd of who’s allowed to write/comment at OTE. Feel free to answer honestly.)
2. Have you been to The Discount Den for any reason? Which of those pops would you get? Or just provide me a recipe of your own.
3. Take the quiz. Tell me what pop you are.
MNW: It is pop. Otherwise I ban you.
I have been outside the Discount Den but never inside, Apparently I am the Mr. Popular, a pop I have definitely mixed myself at McDonalds back in my playing days.
Of those, however, the recipe for Fear the Deer sounds delicious.
Green Akers: It’s pop, nerds. But by all means, spend an extra syllable, of the finite number you will utter here on this mortal coil, saying the same thing in a longer way. Real smart, guy.
As for these concoctions, who among us doesn’t have memories of, as a kid, running up to the pop machine and mixing some of everything into one glass? Well, given the way nostalgia plays as a business model, this makes perfect sense in a college town especially. Put enough sugar and caffeine in something and it’ll probably be fine, but count me out for anything heavy on the Mountain Dew, or that’s been anywhere near Jager.
Beez: Soda. Pop sounds extremely dumb which means it’s wrong.
Gotta go with the Derelicte based solely on the name.
I am The Square Edge, which certainly fits decently well. Equal parts Sprite, fruit punch, and blue Powerade. Unrelated, but does Purdue just have an endless supply of Powerade for these drinks?!?
Kind of...: How hilarious is it that the Discount Den touts itself as an “iconic landmark” and it wasn’t even open the last time Purdue made a Final Four? (Okay, I’ll save it for the hate piece).
As for terminology, I don’t give a shit. Both are fine and I’d rather save my foodie disdain for people who abuse ketchup or put steak sauce on a filet. (Though I eagerly anticipate the inevitable re-ignition of the great Iowa/Indiana pork tenderloin war in June.)
babaoreally: It’s coke. I have been to the Discount Den back in the old days. It was fine; I don’t remember it being a big deal. They definitely didn’t have all of those crazy drink signs up then. I am Birddog (1/2 Mtn Dew, 1⁄4 Orange Crush, 1/8 Code Red, 1/8 Red Cream Soda).
Zuzu: It's soda. TRY IT, MNW. Also, I don't actually drink carbonated drinks, so whatever you call it vs. what I call it doesn't really matter to me since it is off my menu... the bubbles hurt my mouf.
WSR: Pop. Jesus, people. Pop. And I have not been to the Discount Den, but it told me that I should try a Dream Girl. 1⁄2 Sprite, then equal amounts of fruit punch, pink lemonade, and blue powerade? I dunno, folks. I’ll try it, but that probably isn’t my first choice.
Soda or pop?
This poll is closed
Coke [who the fuck let Team Speed Kills in here]
Football: The Schedule
It’s a rough thing to have two non-conference road games in any given season, and to backload that schedule with the three best teams* in the Big Ten?
That’s pretty brutal. So...uh...there’s a path to six wins in somewhere, writers. But can you find it?
*Yep. Eat a bag of ‘em.
1. How do the Boilermakers finish record-wise in 2021? Show your work.
2. Can you think of any reason to go to UConn for a non-conference game? Asking for a
Maryland friend. Give one non-P5 (preferably independent) school to which you wouldn’t mind your school traveling.
3. Analogize Purdue to a Pac-12 team. And then analogize your team to a Pac-12 team.
Green Akers: I want to be optimistic here, I really do. When it’s firing, Brohm’s offense is fun to watch in a division that has a number of really not-fun-to-watch teams. But getting to 6 or 7 wins here requires Purdue to beat a few of the teams in similarly higher-pressure results situations.
Purdue casts a similar profile in my mind to Cal. NFL alumni success disproportionate to their team achievement, just kinda around most of the time, a couple of serious lows last decade.
My comparison for MSU would be Utah. Has actually put together some impressive seasons of late, even crowded up against prestige brands, but usually with an aesthetically...rough?...product.
MNW: Gimme...Oregon State, UConn, Illinois, Minnesota...and one of Michigan State, Nebraska, and Northwestern. That’ll be 5-7 (3-6), but I could see a bar as low as 2-10, because that is a weird little non-conference schedule.
There’s no way I would ever watch a Northwestern-at-UConn game, but then I’ve driven through the night from Atlanta to Durham for a Northwestern-at-Duke game, so fuck me running, right?
Much like the Gophers, I wouldn’t mind a trip to Las Cruces to check out a New Mexico State game. Back in the day it would’ve been the Kibbie Dome for the ol’ Idaho Vandals, obviously, but now I’d be just fine with a return trip to Michie to see the Army Black Knights on the banks of the Hudson. Anything’s better than where I was the last time Northwestern lost more.
Northwestern is Stanford (or maybe Washington) and that’s boring but here are the other comparisons I thought of:
- Minnesota = Oregon State (though the Beavs have a conference title this millennium)
- Nebraska = UCLA
- Rutgers = San Jose State
Kind of...: Purdue is going to be not good. There’s too many decent B1G teams for a squad that struggles in the trenches to have a breakthrough season. I’ll say a 3-2 start sours into a 4-8 (3-6) overall record.
UW has made numerous trips to UNLV over the years. Hard to argue with that trip. If it has to be an independent, it would be kinda cool to play at New Mexico State and check out Las Cruces. Of course @Army would be interesting, too.
Purdue is the Oregon State of the B1G. Located in the sticks, and no real postseason success in football (or basketball) to speak of. Gene Keady is basically the Ralph Miller of the B1G. Wisconsin is Colorado. Cool college town. Only P5 team in state, with all the advantages that brings.
babaoreally: 5-7. Wins: Oregon State, UCONN, Illinois, Minnesota, Northwestern.
I think going to BYU might be fun? Get to play a bunch of 30 year old fathers of five.
Purdue is like Colorado, as their color scheme is pretty much the same.
Zuzu: 1. 5-7.
2. Never go to UConn for anything, let UConn die. Non-P5 independent? ...idk so I'll stick with what Rutgers knows and say Army. Actually, maybe Air Force would be cool. Wait they're Mountain West... whatever.
3. Purdue is Colorado. Both in color and "who cares." Rutgers is Washington State.
WSR: 1) Um...first glance looks like 2-10, and a ceiling of 5-7? I don’t like that schedule. OSU is going in the right direction, so that leaves you with UConn and Nebraska as your wins and the Beavs, Michigan State, and Northwestern as your maybe if you squints? Jesus, guys. That’s not quite as bad as the schedule you should have had last year but do better than this if you want to help Brohm out a bit.
2) No. Not even if we need the money that badly. Jesus no. I like trips to Colorado, so I wouldn’t mind the Gophers headed back to Fort Collins at some point.
3) I’ve got nothing. Sorry. Is Purdue our Cal in that it’s in the same area as another school and nobody really cares about either of them?
How does Purdue finish in 2021?
This poll is closed
2-10 or worse
8-4 or better