Today, Big Tennicon kicks off in Chicago. Would you like to know who’s appearing? Would you like to talk about it? Would you like me to stop asking rhetorical questions?

Fine.

Big Ten Media Days

July 22-23 | BTN | Fox Sports App

9:15am CT: Big Ten Conference

• Kevin Warren, Big Ten Commissioner

10-10:15am: The P.J. Fleck Experience

The Coach

BYCTOM

The Players

• Mo Ibrahim (Sr., RB)
• Boye Mafe (Sr., DL)
• Tanner Morgan (Sr. QB)
• Mostly P.J. Fleck

The Biggest Questions/Drink if...

• Drink for every slogan or acronym he shouts.

11:15-11:30am: Maryland Terrapins

The Coach

• Mike Locksley

The Players

• Nick Cross (Jr., DB)
• Dontay Demus Jr. (Sr., WR)
• Taulia Tagovailoa (Jr., QB)

The Biggest Questions/Drink if...

• Do people remember Maryland football exists?

11:30-11:45am: Nebraska Cornhuskers

The Coach

The Players

• Austin Allen (Jr., TE)
• Ben Stille (Sr., DL)
• Deontai Williams (Sr., S)

Drink if...

• McKewon puts his mouth firmly on the ol’ taint

Finish your drink if...

• A Huskers media member asks an actually-penetrating question

11:45am-12pm: Illinois Fighting Illini

The Coach

The Players

• Owen Carney (Sr., LB)
• Doug Kramer (Sr., C)
• Vederian Lowe (Sr., OT)

Drink when...

• Bert references how it’s “good to be back”
• Bert has the glisten of a man who’s been out in the sun
• Bert says “run the ball”
• You remember you are an Illini fan and existence is pain

12-12:15pm: Penn State Nittany Lions

The Coach

The Players

• Tariq Castro-Fields (Sr., CB)
• Jahan Dotson (Sr., WR)
• PJ Mustipher (Sr., DT)

The Biggest Question

• Which body part does James Franklin expose now?

12:15-12:30pm: Northwestern Wildcats

The Coach

The Players

• Sam Gerak (Sr., OL)
• Brandon Joseph (So., S)
• Cam Porter (So., RB)

Drink when...

• Fitz references the team GPA

Butt-chug a bottle of Malort if...

• Fitz comes on the stage wearing shorts

12:30-12:45pm: Michigan Wolverines

The Coach

The Players

• Hassan Haskins (Sr., RB)
• Aidan Hutchinson (Sr., DE)
• Josh Ross (Sr., LB)

Drink if...

• Harbaugh refuses to talk about players

Other Podium Time

• 1:15pm: Bill Carollo to tell us refereeing has changed
• 1:15pm: Scott Frost
• 1:15pm: Michigan players
• 1:30pm: Pat Fitzgerald
• 1:45pm: Penn State players
• 2pm: Mike Locksley
• 2:15pm: Northwestern players
• 2:15pm: James Franklin
• 3pm: Bret Bielema
• 3pm: Nebraska players
• 3:15pm: Minnesota players
• 3:15pm: Maryland players
• 3:30pm: Jim Harbaugh
• 4pm: Illinois players
• 4pm: P.J. Fleck

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Here’s a place to talk about Big Ten Media Days, if you’re so inclined!