This is happening, apparently, as the realignment wheel keeps on spinning. As Pac-12 Media Days open to tens of followers, new Pac-12 Commissioner George Kliavkoff poured more fuel on the speculative fire of a Big Ten/Pac-12 scheduling alliance:

While a proposed scheduling alliance fell apart amid realignment back in 2012, things look ripe for its return in 2021 thanks to the decisions of Texas and Oklahoma to chase the almighty dollar to the SEC. What, then, would a Big Ten/Pac-12 scheduling alliance look like?

I decided to make it a Week 1 Bonanza for the two conferences for a couple of reasons:

1. Everyone’s jonesing for big-name college football matchups, and
2. The schedule flexibility of Week 1 means you can play more games on Thursday or Friday without worrying as much about wear and tear.

So, if you don’t want to read our other shit on conference expansion...

...and wish to keep pretending things are the way they are—and who could blame you?—let’s speculate recklessly over here.

A Modest Schedule Proposal for the 2022 Week 1 B1G-Pac Challenge, Sponsored by MetLife

Washington Huskies at Minnesota Golden Gophers

Thursday, Sept. 1 | 7:30pm CT | FOX

Revive an old rivalry, make WSR happy, watch the Huskies slowly grind the Gophers into the dust. [What, you think it’ll go well against West Coast Iowa?]

Plus, this matchup jives nicely with Minnesota’s weird fetish for a Thursday evening, State Fair-altered season-opener at home.

Indiana Hoosiers at Utah Utes

Thursday, Sept. 1 | 8:30pm CT | FS1

God my head hurts just thinking about the MANBALL in this game.

UCLA Bruins at Michigan Wolverines

Friday, Sept. 2 | 7pm CT | FOX

Two big names that no one actually gives a competitive shit about anymore.

Arizona State Sun Devils at Penn State Nittany Lions

Friday, Sept. 2 | 7:30pm CT | FS1

Round peg, square hole.

(Really, you could flip Washington and Arizona State here, and it’d all make a lot more sense. Move the Sparky-Goldy game to FS1 and put Washington-Penn State on FOX.)

Oregon Ducks at wisconsin badgers

Saturday, Sept. 3 | 11am CT | FOX

BIG. NUDE. SATURDAY. Just imagine the Ducks waking up in Madison and giving us this contrast in styles and appearances. I hope Paul Chryst hates it.

Your alternative, badger fans, is sending wisconsin back to Tempe. There are no other options. Choose wisely.

California Golden Bears at Illinois Fighting Illini

Saturday, Sept. 3 | 11am | FS1

Look, they can’t all be winners, and this works as well as anything. Just go with it.

Stanford Cardinal at Northwestern Wildcats

Saturday, Sept. 3 | 11am CT | FS2 (or BTN)

It’s for the best if as few people as possible can see this game, and the only channel that gets fewer viewers than FS2 is Pac-12 Network.

Please bring the Stanford Band to Evanston.

Nebraska Cornhuskers at Colorado Buffaloes

Saturday, Sept. 3 | 2:30pm | FOX

Boon for Boulder RV tourism, boon for the Buffs’ W-L record.

Purdue Boilermakers at Oregon State Beavers

Saturday, Sept. 3 | 2:30pm | FS1

It’s already on the schedule for 2024—this should be easy enough to move up.

Maryland Terrapins at Arizona Wildcats

Saturday, Sept. 3 | 2:30pm | Pac-12 Network

The less said, the better.

Ohio State Buckeyes at USC Trojans

Saturday, Sept. 3 | 7pm CT | FOX

You know it’s going to happen, I know it’s going to happen. The only question is if THIS is the BIG NUDE game.

Michigan State Spartans at Washington State Cougars

Saturday, Sept. 3 | 8:30pm CT | FS1

Two well-known but less-popular names—and not just because of Nick Rolovich—who are likely to do stupid things in Pac-12 After Dark.

Rutgers Scarlet Knights at Hawaii Rainbow Warriors

Saturday, Sept. 3 | 11:59pm CT | Team1Sports

Line opens at Bows -6.5.

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Not Playing: Iowa Hawkeyes (only one P5 game, and that game is Iowa State, and you will sit there and like it), Rutgers (obvious reasons)

If you wanted to make this more serious, you’d flip the Minnesota and Penn State opponents—PSU and UW are a good competitive balance, while Goldy-Sparky is a Made-for-Thursday Special with a Contrast in Approaches to Coaching. I hope Herm sits PJ on his knee and gives him a talk about how to comport yourself.

You might also consider moving Iowa into the Utah game, having Indiana play Arizona as a precursor to a basketball game, and having Maryland and Rutgers stay home on the basis of principle.

Or just provide your dream B1G-Pac12 matchups in the comments!