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2021 Purdue Closing Arguments

What are we afraid of?

Purdue v Iowa Photo by Matthew Holst/Getty Images

I. Case History / Opening Statement

A. Case History

Well, people of the jury, last year Purdue had a COVID shortened season and it didn’t go so well. A good win against Iowa and a win against Illinois had Boiler fans happy that the season was happening at all. A close loss against Northwestern is nothing to brag about, but not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Then a terrible offensive pass interference call negated a go-ahead touchdown against Minnesota. And the season was basically over at that point.

Fans could be forgiven to think that the Darrell Hazell era was back during he second half of the next week’s game against the mighty Scarlet Knights. Rutgers put in a guy who could barely pass and he just ran for 6-7 yards a carry and Purdue looked pathetic in the loss.

The great mercy of the 2020 season was that the games against Ohio State and Indiana didn’t even happen, so the final record was 2-4 instead of 2-6.

B. Opening Statement

Well, what do you want me to say? That I’m glad football season is starting? That I’m optimistic that the Boilers can turn things around and be respectable?

I’m afraid! Alright? You wanna hear me say it? For the first time in my life I’m afraid!

I’m afraid that the exciting offense that Jeff Brohm had in his first two seasons is a distant memory. I’m afraid that Jack Plummer may not be the second coming of Kyle Orton. I’m afraid that David Bell alone is not all we need for a good offense. I’m afraid that the offense needs to be very good because the defense won’t be, and the offense is going to be mediocre.

I’m afraid that firing DC Bob Diaco isn’t going to be enough to turn the defense from awful to average. I’m afraid that George Karlaftis (like David Bell) isn’t enough by himself to stop the run and get pressure on the quarterback.

I’m afraid that the schedule this season is going to be rough. I’m afraid of losing the opener to Oregon State. I’m afraid of getting beat badly by both Notre Dame and Indiana. I’m afraid that we won’t show up for a winnable game, and then will play great but still lose to a superior team.

II. Discovery

A. What We’ve Written About Purdue This Offseason

Cocktail Party Preview

Potluck #1

Coaching Turnovers

Off Talkle Empire Podcast

Can Purdue Put Together a Complete Offense?

Potluck #2

Can the Purdue Defense Take a Giant Leap?

Potluck #3

B. What We Can Learn from Pop Culture

I should just put that clip from Rocky III that I stole the opening argument (spoiler alert: and the emotional plea) from, but instead let’s fire up another classic Norm MacDonald joke. I think I’m supposed to try and link this clip to Purdue football, so let’s just say that Purdue football is the turtle.

“It was the turtle.”

III. Schedule of Events

Sep 4: Oregon State

Sep 11: @ UCONN

Sep 18: @ Notre Dame

Sep 25: Illinois

Oct 2: Minnesota

Oct 16: @ Iowa

Oct 23: Wisconsin

Oct 30: @ Nebraska

Nov 6: Michigan State

Nov 13: @ Ohio State

Nov 20: @ Northwestern (Wrigley Field)

Nov 27: Indiana

IV. Emotional Plea

Then we lose. But at least we lose with no excuses. No fear. And we know we could live with that.

V. Verdict

My pick for this season matches up with the average here. I’m going to be optimistic and say 5-7.