With Wisconsin dropping this afternoon, we’re 13/14 done on Closing Arguments—Stew and Iowa hit a kid-related snag—and HEY! the Big Ten football season really starts in earnest tomorrow evening, when #4 Ohio State travels to Minnesota to take on the Gophers.

We’ve been previewing each Big Ten team individually, and you can find those in the related links scattered throughout the article here, or by checking out our Big Ten 2021 Closing Arguments stream:

But how will the standings look, MNW?

Excellent question, crutch of bad writing!

Here’s how we see the Big Ten shaking out in 2021 as a full writing staff:

As you scroll through, you can see those outliers and wild optimists:

• WSR thinks Michigan State will go 2-10?!
• MNW pegs Maryland at 3-9, with Kind of... slotting them in at 0-9 in the Big Ten?!
• Thump is already wrong about Illinois going 0-9 in the Big Ten, but can they exceed his 2-10 overall prediction?

Who wins the East and West?

I’m glad you asked:

There you have them: our ironclad, surely-won’t-look-stupid picks. Use them responsibly.