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Fall’s Tarts Week 2: Let’s Make Everyone Super Uncomfortable

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It’s Awkward Week

NCAA Football: Jacksonville State at Florida State Melina Myers-USA TODAY Sports

Nothing like a solemn anniversary on a college football saturday!

Nebraska Ominously Predicts Their Future

Look, this is kind of a cool gameday poster, except...given how bad Nebraska was against the run last year, you could probably have made some adjustments to make it seem less like your team was about to get run over

Fortunately, they did manage to control the game to the tune of 28-3, but given the Scott Frost era, you could be forgiven for being concerned.

See this, Nike? THIS is an alternate uniform!

The minor league Wisconsin Timber Rattlers put all of college football’s alternate uniforms thus far in 2021 to shame on Friday night:

Sometimes when you don’t take yourself super seriously you get delightful results.

Iowa State Fans Get A Brain (Morans)

College GameDay was on the site of much grievance this weekend: Ames, Iowa, where the Cyclones have been disrespected by everyone under the sun. Vegas disrespects them by favoring Iowa. The AP poll puts Iowa ahead of them. Nike disrespects them by making tacky colorless alternate uniforms. But most of all, the two most revenue-producing athletic departments in the Big XII disrespected them. Were they going to take this lying down?

The backwards upside down OU logo is pretty fun before you get to Judas Icariot down at the bottom.

OTE’s Baton Twirler Beef Continues

Remember when the baton twirling community got extremely Mad Online at our blog? Well, they certainly won’t like us highlighting this misstep in Columbus:

Huge points for a quick recovery there. The time to feel pain is after the band is off the field.

Pittsburgh Panthers, Chaos Merchants

If you didn’t see any names in this game but you did see this screenshot of a team facing third and goal from outside field goal range

would you rightfully assume that Pitt was involved?

Later, this game would produce a sequence I don’t believe I’ve ever seen before:

Joe Milton came up a touchdown short, but in his defense his radar could not possibly have been expected to function. Pitt cannot be detected by conventional surveillance equipment.

Cat Goes Somewhere It Isn’t Supposed To, Gets Bailed Out

Stop me if you’ve heard this before, but a cat was somewhere it wasn’t supposed to be at Miami’s home game on Saturday. Watch this incredible moment as fans below prepare for it to drop from the upper deck and successfully save the kitty after a massive drop:

How this didn’t get #1 on SportsCenter Top 10 I don’t know.

Thumpasaurus Needs To De-Prioritize Illinois Football

Speaking of SportsCenter Top 10, after watching Illinois be thoroughly humiliated due to their lack of preparation against a superior team, I went to Historic Keyworth Stadium to watch Detroit City FC continue their ridiculous unbeaten streak in league play. During the game, I witnessed this goal:

Why is this in Fall’s Tarts? Because after this, I came home and was still super mad about Illinois football. Honestly, it really is time I restructured my relationship with this particular sports team in a much healthier way.

Nick Castellanos Delivers

September 11th is quite the somber day here in the United States, but if you know anything about Nick Castellanos, you know he chooses these moments to play his best. In case you somehow haven’t seen it, this was first noted when broadcaster Thom Brennaman was forced to interrupt his on-air apology for being caught saying an offensive slur on a hot mic in order to call Castellanos homering to extend Cincinnati’s lead.

Earlier this year, Castellanos hit another dinger in the middle of an on-air eulogy for a longtime member of the Royals organization.

Some digging revealed that he had also homered in the minors right around the time the killing of Osama Bin Laden was announced.

With this, the Bally Sports broadcast of the Reds’ 9/11 contest against the Cardinals was understandably wary, and for good reason: Castellanos drove it deep to left center field for a home run that made it a 4-0 ball game.

Target Acquired

Kickers are often criticized for being defensive liabilities, but one overcompensated on Saturday night:

My wife picked this guy in our college fantasy football contest and ended up with no points from that position.

Anyway, USC allowed 42 points to David Shaw’s flailing Stanford Cardinal and fired Clay Helton two days later. It’s September 14th.

Bathe In Florida State’s Horror

I’m sure you all know this by now, but Florida State made several mistakes this weekend. Not only did they allow FCS Jacksonville State to hang around, but they also allowed them to convert a Hail Mary with a catch 15 yards outside the end zone for the win with no time remaining:

Eight years ago, Florida State won the national title. Two weeks ago, UAB beat Jacksonville State 31-0.

Jacksonville State’s twitter account is currently suspended.

A Modest Proposal

Florida State lineman Brady Scott decided to use this low point of Florida State football as a high point in his life and proposed to his girlfriend behind the end zone as Jacksonville State celebrated their walk-off victory

She said yes, and may this be the only such mishap in their journey.

Nick Rolovich Doesn’t Know What Else To Say

Washington State head coach Nick Rolovich had a press conference yesterday where he was once again asked about his vaccine status

Remember, there is now a vaccine mandate for employees of the state of Washington. Rolovich desperately wants this question to go away, so he becomes a moody teenager being questioned by his parents.

The Cougars lost to Utah State on Saturday. The Aggies were coming off a 1-5 season.

Poll

Which is the tastiest Tart of Week 2?

  • 6%
    Nebraska Advertising Their Possible Demise
    (24 votes)
  • 5%
    Iowa State Gameday Sign
    (18 votes)
  • 6%
    Baton Footwork
    (24 votes)
  • 2%
    Tennessee in the Pitts
    (8 votes)
  • 7%
    Kitty Rescue
    (26 votes)
  • 5%
    Thumpasaurus Is Fundamentally Broken
    (18 votes)
  • 9%
    Here’s The Kicker
    (31 votes)
  • 34%
    Florida State Horror/Proposal
    (117 votes)
  • 22%
    Nick Rolovich Is A Big Dumb Baby
    (76 votes)
  • 0%
    YOU MISSED ONE (share in the comments)
    (2 votes)
344 votes total Vote Now