Nothing like a solemn anniversary on a college football saturday!
Nebraska Ominously Predicts Their Future
Look, this is kind of a cool gameday poster, except...given how bad Nebraska was against the run last year, you could probably have made some adjustments to make it seem less like your team was about to get run over
Fortunately, they did manage to control the game to the tune of 28-3, but given the Scott Frost era, you could be forgiven for being concerned.
See this, Nike? THIS is an alternate uniform!
The minor league Wisconsin Timber Rattlers put all of college football’s alternate uniforms thus far in 2021 to shame on Friday night:
The Wisconsin Timber Rattlers have some amazing alternate unis tonight. Wow. pic.twitter.com/VONg0zTDII— Tom Froemming (@TFTwins) September 10, 2021
Sometimes when you don’t take yourself super seriously you get delightful results.
Iowa State Fans Get A Brain (Morans)
College GameDay was on the site of much grievance this weekend: Ames, Iowa, where the Cyclones have been disrespected by everyone under the sun. Vegas disrespects them by favoring Iowa. The AP poll puts Iowa ahead of them. Nike disrespects them by making tacky colorless alternate uniforms. But most of all, the two most revenue-producing athletic departments in the Big XII disrespected them. Were they going to take this lying down?
This sign, y'all. Going to be an interesting year of road games for Texas and OU. pic.twitter.com/uAIeX5jbjm— Chris Hummer (@chris_hummer) September 11, 2021
The backwards upside down OU logo is pretty fun before you get to Judas Icariot down at the bottom.
OTE’s Baton Twirler Beef Continues
Remember when the baton twirling community got extremely Mad Online at our blog? Well, they certainly won’t like us highlighting this misstep in Columbus:
Huge points for a quick recovery there. The time to feel pain is after the band is off the field.
Pittsburgh Panthers, Chaos Merchants
If you didn’t see any names in this game but you did see this screenshot of a team facing third and goal from outside field goal range
would you rightfully assume that Pitt was involved?
Later, this game would produce a sequence I don’t believe I’ve ever seen before:
We just had:— Alex Kirshner (@alex_kirshner) September 11, 2021
-Pitt getting kick six'd for a 100-yard touchdown return
-In the third quarter
-With both teams committing offsetting fouls
-Leading to a re-play of the down
-And then a punt
-Which was downed inside the five by a diving punt gunner
Joe Milton came up a touchdown short, but in his defense his radar could not possibly have been expected to function. Pitt cannot be detected by conventional surveillance equipment.
Cat Goes Somewhere It Isn’t Supposed To, Gets Bailed Out
Stop me if you’ve heard this before, but a cat was somewhere it wasn’t supposed to be at Miami’s home game on Saturday. Watch this incredible moment as fans below prepare for it to drop from the upper deck and successfully save the kitty after a massive drop:
How this didn’t get #1 on SportsCenter Top 10 I don’t know.
Thumpasaurus Needs To De-Prioritize Illinois Football
Speaking of SportsCenter Top 10, after watching Illinois be thoroughly humiliated due to their lack of preparation against a superior team, I went to Historic Keyworth Stadium to watch Detroit City FC continue their ridiculous unbeaten streak in league play. During the game, I witnessed this goal:
Why is this in Fall’s Tarts? Because after this, I came home and was still super mad about Illinois football. Honestly, it really is time I restructured my relationship with this particular sports team in a much healthier way.
Nick Castellanos Delivers
September 11th is quite the somber day here in the United States, but if you know anything about Nick Castellanos, you know he chooses these moments to play his best. In case you somehow haven’t seen it, this was first noted when broadcaster Thom Brennaman was forced to interrupt his on-air apology for being caught saying an offensive slur on a hot mic in order to call Castellanos homering to extend Cincinnati’s lead.
Earlier this year, Castellanos hit another dinger in the middle of an on-air eulogy for a longtime member of the Royals organization.
Some digging revealed that he had also homered in the minors right around the time the killing of Osama Bin Laden was announced.
With this, the Bally Sports broadcast of the Reds’ 9/11 contest against the Cardinals was understandably wary, and for good reason: Castellanos drove it deep to left center field for a home run that made it a 4-0 ball game.
I heard so many people talking about what Nick Castellanos would do on 9/11.— Ben Verlander (@BenVerlander) September 12, 2021
You literally can’t make this up: He hit a home run to left field to make it a 4-0 ballgame.
Kickers are often criticized for being defensive liabilities, but one overcompensated on Saturday night:
USC's kicker just got disqualified for targeting on the very first play of the game pic.twitter.com/VxxM1nCSbM— FOX College Football (@CFBONFOX) September 12, 2021
My wife picked this guy in our college fantasy football contest and ended up with no points from that position.
Anyway, USC allowed 42 points to David Shaw’s flailing Stanford Cardinal and fired Clay Helton two days later. It’s September 14th.
Bathe In Florida State’s Horror
I’m sure you all know this by now, but Florida State made several mistakes this weekend. Not only did they allow FCS Jacksonville State to hang around, but they also allowed them to convert a Hail Mary with a catch 15 yards outside the end zone for the win with no time remaining:
As called on Florida State radio: pic.twitter.com/DPEsUnlgoi— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) September 12, 2021
Eight years ago, Florida State won the national title. Two weeks ago, UAB beat Jacksonville State 31-0.
A Modest Proposal
Florida State lineman Brady Scott decided to use this low point of Florida State football as a high point in his life and proposed to his girlfriend behind the end zone as Jacksonville State celebrated their walk-off victory
FSU player proposing on the field with Jacksonville St still celebrating in the background. You can’t make this stuff up pic.twitter.com/jeC5GZ45gz— Andrew Ferrelli (@Andrew_Ferrelli) September 13, 2021
She said yes, and may this be the only such mishap in their journey.
Nick Rolovich Doesn’t Know What Else To Say
Washington State head coach Nick Rolovich had a press conference yesterday where he was once again asked about his vaccine status
.@ChrisDaniels5 asked Nick Rolovich extensively about his vaccine status today.— Brenna Greene (@BrennaGreene_) September 13, 2021
Full clip below.
Before this I asked Rolovich a vax question. He said, "I still plan on following the mandate and doing what I need to be to be the coach here. That's all I can say about that." pic.twitter.com/Q6qNqu6PwY
Remember, there is now a vaccine mandate for employees of the state of Washington. Rolovich desperately wants this question to go away, so he becomes a moody teenager being questioned by his parents.
The Cougars lost to Utah State on Saturday. The Aggies were coming off a 1-5 season.
Which is the tastiest Tart of Week 2?
This poll is closed
Nebraska Advertising Their Possible Demise
Iowa State Gameday Sign
Tennessee in the Pitts
Thumpasaurus Is Fundamentally Broken
Here’s The Kicker
Florida State Horror/Proposal
Nick Rolovich Is A Big Dumb Baby
YOU MISSED ONE (share in the comments)