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Sunday Morning Coming Down // Week 3

They Supposed to be SEC

Syndication: York Daily Record Dan Rainville via Imagn Content Services, LLC

Ten B1G Things

  1. You’d think a team from rural Alabama would be thrilled with an all-white crowd
  2. Is this what mediocrity feels like? -Brutus Buckeye, et al
  3. Ohio State’s hypothesis of “can Haskell Garrett make every defensive play?” has encountered some hurdles, to say the least
  4. Nebraska + football = Lucy Van Pelt
  5. Don’t read too much into Oklahoma’s performance. This was just their annual brush with death against a mid-major program
  6. I have run out of new and creative ways to point out that Notre Dame is the most overrated team in college football
  7. Penix Flaccid At Pivotal Moment (trying out my old-timey newspaper headlines)
  8. Admin note: Miami (FL) and Miami (OH) will henceforth disambiguated as Miami Flerovium and Miami Hydroxide—the former being an artificial, unstable, and highly radioactive substance and the latter being a team half the B1G should fear
  9. Michigan is BACK.
  10. No, but really...Michigan will finally beat OSU this year and the entire offseason will be a Jim Harbaugh OTPHJ about how they’re finally among the bluebloods again
  11. Spotting Duke a 21-point 1st quarter was a bold strategy by Fitz. Love to see a coach challenge his team.
  12. It’s really hard to come up with good things to say about Rutgers, as I have no practice at it
  13. Inquiring minds want to know: is Minnesota kinda good or only sorta bad?
  14. Maryland and Illinois need a high stakes trophy game matchup—something fitting, like the loser has to wear Maryland’s uniform next year

The Rundown

Tulsa at Ohio State | Beleaguered Buckeyes Bounce Back Barely, 41-20

This is looking like a long season in Columbus. With a defense ravaged by injuries and an unsteady young QB, OSU fans (including yours truly) have little reason to be sanguine about the prospects of a return trip to Indianapolis. Stroud connected on only 15 of his 25 passes, including an INT on a misthrown ball to TE Jeremy Ruckert (pause for amazement that OSU is actually throwing passes to TEs now that Urban is gone). He also lost a fumble. Overall, an uninspiring day in Columbus, save for TreVeyon Henderson’s 277 yards on the ground.

Aubarn at Penn State | White-Out Winners Want Wama*, 28-20 (*Bama)

Standby for SEC excuses about how Auburn isn’t really an SEC team because reasons, and this doesn’t count because it happened in a state that ranks higher than 40th in education, which by law negates the win.

87townie: Wow. Great game. Went right down to the last play. The refs sucked hard. It’s so frustrating when you have the zebra’s inserting themselves in the outcome by blowing calls...or miscounting downs. FFS. Prepare yourselves though. PSU, Sparty, Michigan, and Iowa are undefeated. That means a wave of insufferable suffering is coming to OTE. Hide the children. Don’t feed the trolls. Let the banhammer reign.

pkloa: That was four quarters of good, clean, hard hitting football. The Lions looked like the (slightly?) better team, but the Tigers were definitely game. Quick shoutout to the good Orange and Blue team, their fans must have paid quite a hefty price to sprinkle themselves throughout the White Out.

Jahan Dotson is maybe the best receiver Penn State has had in recent memory. 10 receptions, each of which seemed like he stretched to his fullest to make the catch, one TD where he fought to get himself open, and a 22 yard pass where... what the hell? Why did you even call that, Yurcich?

misdreavus79: Man, what a difference a year makes. Sean Clifford was a laughingstock of a quarterback in 2020, nothing more than a turnover machine and a decision-making nightmare in the first five games. Fast forward to now, and he’s taking everything defenses throw at him and continues to drive this team to victory. Every punch Penn State threw at Auburn, the Tigers responded with one of their own. And, yet again, when the game was on the line, the defense found a way to stop Auburn not once, but twice, as the Tigers turned the ball over on downs with a chance to tie the game in the waning seconds.After the debacle that was last season, I’m having a ton of fun! Onto Villanova!

Nebraska at Oklahoma | Sooners Somehow Survive, 23-16

Nebraska promises not to yank football away this time, then yanks football away.

brt: Well, I didn’t watch most of the first half, but eventually saw they weren’t getting destroyed and checked in. This team continues to show that there’s no more creative team when it comes to blowing themselves up on special teams. It’s kind of fascinating in its way, though obviously, from my perspective, not great. The Huskers also continue to struggle with discipline, getting penalties at inopportune times.But on the brighter side, Nebraska went on the road to a crazy-hostile environment against the #3-ranked team in the country, and still had a chance to win on the final possession. That defied every single expectation anyone had. As many Iowa fans have taken great pains to point out, OU does appear to be overrated, having already struggled with Tulane this year. But that struggle was on the books before this game, and we all still expected Nebraska to get blasted. And they didn’t.I think it’s clear Nebraska is probably not as bad as the loss to Illinois might seem to indicate. But I also think it’s clear that unless they figure out a way to stop being their own biggest liability, their ceiling is going to be limited.

deadread: BRT pretty much covers it. I would also add that the team both kept it close and (for the most part) kept its composure. This gives me hope that further improvement is possible. The high number of penalties on the offensive line, as well as the special teams not. Good coaching can resolve special teams miscues and mental errors. That these errors persist after three-plus years is damning. The defense, by contrast, played consistently well. I am curious to see how it will withstand the ground attack of Michigan State this coming week.

Purdue at Notre Dame | Brian Boils, Beats Brohm’s Boilers 27-13

Brian Kelly killed a kid. Never forget.

BoilerUp89: I hate Notre Dame, their fanbase that consists of people who didn’t actually go to college (even the 5% of them that went to Notre Dame still didn’t go to a real college), and their pettiness (they banned the drum from the stadium and kicked the Boilermaker Express off campus Saturday morning). Purdue kept things close for 3.5 quarters but never really threatened. David Bell’s injury was scary, but glad he wasn’t taken off on a stretcher and had control of his extremities. The fact that he didn’t need his neck stabilized tells me he should be okay after some time off. My guess is he enters the concussion protocol for however long it takes. Onto the cannon game. I won’t bother to update this when there is a update on Bell’s condition as I’m going to go enjoy Zinzinnati Oktoberfest and get drunk the rest of the weekend. Consider this my punch in for Sunday although I might check in late Sunday afternoon.

Cincy at Indy | Penix Pitches Perilous Passes, Bearcats Best Bloomington Boys 38-24

Let’s all enjoy Fickell’s final season at Cincy.

BuffKomodo: I mean. I honestly have no words. Indiana had the Bearcats dead to rights. A completely bullshit penalty against Micah Mcfadden later, Indiana decides to lose by 2 touchdowns.This is not the Mike Penix I was promised.This is not the offense I was promised.The Indiana defense is legit. They have not been helped on one drive all season by the entire defense. The offense sucks. The offense made the defense have to fight for their lives because they were too inept to do literally anything.Mike Penix was awful. The o-line was awful. It’s complete horseshit and there are no silver linings. You want to squander any goodwill you’ve built up with a completely incompetent performance? Fine. Then do it twice? Don’t be surprised when nobody shows up in a few weeks. Indiana went from NY6 bowls to, well, hopefully they’re eligible to go to the Quick Lane Bowl in less than 2 weeks. Good lord. Figure it out.

Michigan State at Miami Flerovium | Spartans Stomp South Beach, 38-17

Well that was just lovely. In the words of Paul Chryst “turnover chain my f***in’ ass.”

Adequate Kromulentski: Yep, color me impressed with this one. Playing in 90-degree, full-humidity conditions, Michigan State stayed composed, rotated heavily, and stayed with Miami until the ‘Canes’ constant stream of mistakes let the Spartans break it open late. The offensive playcalling was great - sticking with the base plays enough to make the constraints lethal - and Kenneth Walker III proved himself capable of carrying the offense until the passing game came to life. MSU gave up yards through the air, but also shut down Miami’s run game, kept Miami’s playmakers in front of them, and forced four turnovers to make a lot of those yards empty calories. Overall, a lot to like from the staff’s preparation, in-game adjustments, and the execution by the players. There are still things to work on, first and second being pass coverage and penalties, but this is an excellent win, and it may be time to recalibrate those preseason expectations upward a little.

Northern Illinois at Michigan | Harbaugh Handles Hapless Houseguests, 63-10

Great job (slow clap). A round of milk for the house.

RMB: You can only get so much from playing a rebuilding MAC team. I was hoping for no drama, no injuries, and some indication we’re not completely hosed in the passing game. Wish granted. Michigan scored touchdowns on their first nine possessions, while giving up a good-looking FG drive early in the first quarter, and then virtually nothing until the walk-ons were in. Michigan played over a hundred players in this game. It was everything you want in a final tune-up game before starting big10 play.McNamara and these receivers are a work in progress but Cade made a few nice throws, getting 191 yards in the first half. In the fun stats department McNamara was 8/11 in this game, and McCarthy was 4/6. Against WMU they were 9/11 and 4/6, respectively. Apparently Michigan has a blueprint for MAC schools.

Northwestern at Duke | Lax Lovers Lay Lumber on Lakeside Learners, 30-23

Has a worse first quarter of football been played in recent memory? Duke is the bogeyman Northwestern just can’t shake.

MNW: Northwestern lost. Hunter Johnson was mercy-killed during the game, about a quarter after it should’ve happened. The dumbest fucking part is that I’ve convinced myself Northwestern might’ve won had they pulled Johnson—a deer in the headlights, and COMPLETELY left adrift by his coaches—a quarter sooner.That is, of course, no excuse. Northwestern is fucking awful. Their defense is woefully unprepared for any kind of speed and scheme: I told you in the preview that Duke would bring out their running QB (I want to say “Moore”) at some point, and he ran in the third Blue Devil TD on a power left that was laughably undefended.I have never seen a Northwestern defense caught so off-guard by basic things like “a running QB” or “a wheel route”. The lazy take, one which I am 100% guilty of, is that new DC Jim O’Neil is not up to the task. Of course, given that he is a complete insider hire (he got this job because he was on the NU D staff with Fitz 2003-04 and now-ST Jeff Genyk’s EMU staff in 2006-07), that’s a little obviously and easy...but I should at least speak into existence why I’m pretty sure he’s woefully unqualified.The ‘Cats brought on QB Andrew Marty and defenders with actual testicles in the late second quarter and more or less won the game from then on. Does this mean you’re subject to “non-September Northwestern” from here on? I fucking hope not, because that would mean failson Jim O’Neil keeps his job. But I’d suffer through the ‘Cats winning a few games with Andrew Marty at the helm. God knows they don’t deserve shit at this point, but I’ll cheer my ass off like the rube I am anyway.

Delaware at Rutgers | Jersey Jousters Jubilant, 45-13

If the Rutgers writers aren’t going to talk about Rutgers, I’m sure not either. Rutgers beat a school that wears bad (worse) Michigan uniforms and has a chicken mascot. This is the world we live in.

Minnesota at Colorado | Rowers Ram Ruminants, 30-0

After week 1, I thought OSU just phoned it in. Now I’m thinking Minnesota might be kind of okay.

WSR: I’ve never seen the Gophers smother an opponent that efficiently. Colorado couldn’t do a damn thing on offense all day, as demonstrated by their 6 first downs all day. The offense did just fine, and the special teams had some hiccups to make the game seem more interesting than it actually was for a long time. I’m not used to seeing an easy, fun full-team effort in a win.

Maryland at Illinois | Terps Topple Terrible Tribesmen, 20-17

DJ: Maryland wins their first conference game and first away game this year. It wasn’t pretty at all but I’ll take it.

Now can we talk about wtf why is the Big Ten having 915pm kickoffs and 4+ hour games where the fourth quarter starts after midnight? They gotta drop kickoff back an hour because that’s more feasible than asking them to cut commercials

Thump: LMFAO I cannot believe some of you fucking shitskulls thought for even a second there was any chance that the illini would win. We were getting our asses kicked down to down, we couldn’t run without defensive penalties or Josh McCray (who, like all surprisingly good illini players, left the game with an injury that I’m sure is a season ender only because he’s at Illinois). Our offensive line is older than the fucking Chicago bulls.

That’s why I knew I’d never get dragged for my 3-games-in pronouncement of this coaching staff’s demise. Because did you watch this bullshit? They can’t coach football.I’d love if Brandon Peters never played another snap for Illinois, but the same is true of art Sitkowski. Hey let’s just UAB ourselves.I was at least optimistic that the vast talent margin at skill positions would ease the pain by making it decisive early. But no, we had to get every fucking break and have some great individual plays and expose our coaches as frauds. I lost enough weight to call bert fat with ONLY A PLANET FITNESS AND A PAIR OF RUNNING SHOES AT MY DISPOSAL. Fuckface has private facilities and if he doesn’t want them the ARC. No excuse to be that much fatter than ME. Brandon Peters should never take another snap for us

Kent State at Iowa | Kirk Kicks Kent, Kind to Kids, 30-7

Stewmonkey: Iowa didn’t look good for large stretches of the game. Petras is who he is, not at all accurate, only throws to the sidelines, refuses to go deep, and has no pocket awareness. The secondary got burned a couple of times looking in the backfield. Andrew yes, the team definitely got lucky forcing and recovering a fumble as Kenny State was about to go in for a touchdown. However, Iowa also took advantage of the luck. The offense managed to then march down the field and put the game away.

Despite the errors Iowa still only gave up the one score, and the DL and linebackers looked great. And Tyler Goodson erases a lot of mistakes on offense with some fantastic runs.Good teams win, great teams cover.