This week's B1G Stock Market Game is presented at 9:19EDT. You Central Time heathens will just have to wait 60 more minutes to honor Scott Frost's conference record.

Every week when I update the spreadsheet for this game, I get to relive the previous week’s comment sections. While many are fun variances of “HODL”, I do come across a few posts that bring me joy. Not joy in the classic sense, of course. Unless you mean the classic OTE sense of laughing at the optimism someone was dumb enough to bring to the comment section. I want to share some with you today:

“...The teams in my portfolio are all playing (what should be) tomato cans, so I’m hoping for a bump next week.” -Transient Buckeye, shareholder of Minnesota (-28.4%).

“Time to do something even more foolish. Sell 4 Northwesterns [+20.5%], sell 2 Illinois [+12.5%].” -steelinj, who really evened it out by buying Rutger shares which gained 17.3%.

“Buy 5 shares of Indiana[sic] BUY LOW SELL HIGH BABY.” IUinVA, dropper of 9.9% of value with the quickness.

“Common sense says I should hold my 2 MSU[+3.0%] for the dividend, so I’m not going to do that... Buy 4 Wisconsin[-6.9%{-ni.ce%}]. Take me up to the top floor.” -theguyfromy-wega, who should get a new elevator operator.

The Rules

1. Start with an initial investment equal to the average of all current investors. This week, that’s 565 Delaney Dollars ($565DD).
2. Select team stocks to buy.
3. After the week’s games, sell, hold, and/or buy for the next week.
4. Max number of any one team’s shares that you can own is 50.
5. The game pays a 10% dividend of current prices in weeks 4, 7, 10, and 13 for all shares you’ve held for three consecutive weeks.

Team stock value comes from Teamrankings.com. The value of each team is the inverse of their current rating (out of 130 FBS teams), so team #2 costs $129, #6 costs $125, #129 costs $2.

What Teams Should I Invest In?

Buy low, sell high. Or vice versa. Buy shares of your own team, or feel all greasy by buying shares of your rival. While nobody can perfectly predict The Formula, team ratings are pretty much based on their game results, their opponents, and their opponents’ opponents.

Some players diversify, and others go heavy on one stock. You’ll find your niche. If you don’t like the dartboard method, you may want to check out Dead Read’s B1G Stock Report.

This Week

Dividends have been paid out to your money markets, so use them wisely. For the lurkers who haven’t checked back in since Week 1, you may want to reinvest those dividends or risk being left behind. Next dividend payout is Week 7, you have to hold the shares starting this week to be eligible.

The opening bell has rung, here are this week’s stock prices:

Illinois 54; Indiana 82; Iowa 120; Maryland 106; Michigan 127; Michigan State 103; Minnesota 73; Nebraska 101; Northwestern 53; Ohio State 125; Penn State 116; Purdue 98; Rutger 95; Wisconsin 108

Get your buys in by ****6pm Best Time Zone Thursday night.**** And remember, greed is good.