With so many Big Ten fanbases coming out of last week with questions, you’d expect a brilliant selection of Fall’s Tarts from Week 4.

It hasn’t quite been that way, just some general malaise...at least as far as the Big Ten is concerned.

Nevertheless, we had some pretty tart stuff for you this week.

Tanner Morgan Handles The Leather One Last Time

Minnesota’s homecoming loss to a terrible Bowling Green team deserves to be its own Tart, but veteran quarterback Tanner Morgan was a major contributor with his five entire completions. Of course, he only had 13 attempts because PJ Fleck’s staff didn’t think they needed to change anything up on offense. Gifted an extra chance by the defense, Tanner got that leather in his hands and went to work.

Gopher alumni found their hides feeling pretty chapped by Tanner’s performance.

Greg Schiano Really Thought They Wouldn’t Notice

Trailing 14-3 on the road against Michigan, Greg Schiano did what Bret Bielema wouldn’t and got BOLD. On 4th and short from the Michigan 31, they went for it. This in and of itself isn’t bad. It’s the play design.

This was not an accident like the Colts fake punt, Greg Schiano really thought they’d be so distracted by Noah Vedral’s fake confusion behind the right guard that they wouldn’t notice Isaiah Pacheco SPRINTING under center to take the snap.

What the shit?

How could you think they wouldn’t notice?

Here’s another angle

Schiano then got gun-shy and punted in similar situations later in the game. Can’t wait for Illinutgers.

Honk Honk

This fantastically timed sound effect followed a cartoonish loss of balance on a TCU touchdown

Hooooooooooooonk

All Around Me Are Familiar Bellies

The much-maligned Illini defense held an explosive offense in check all day and the offense was driving in enemy territory with a one-score fourth quarter lead. Then, on 4th and short inside the opponent’s 40, Bret Bielema decided to punt. The other team went down and scored like it was nothing and Illinois could do nothing for the rest of the game, losing.

Bret Bielema literally did this last week, and it’s awesome that he decided to do it again. What made this one worse than last week?

• Illinois had fourth and a shoooooort 2 inside the Purdue 35
• James McCourt makes 50+ yarders pretty regularly
• Unlike the previous week, absolute bowling ball Josh McCray was healthy
• Bert called a timeout to set up this punt after burning his first coming out of a media timeout in the 3rd quarter, leaving the Illini with just one after this.
• HE JUST DID IT THE PREVIOUS WEEK AND LOST

Bert doubled down postgame, saying he’d do it 100 more times. He’ll only be at Illinois for 43 more games, so I don’t know where the rest of those opportunities are going to come from.

Brandon Peters Goes For Glory

I wish I had a video of Brandon Peters’ last three throws. After somehow stumbling inside the Purdue red zone, the sixth year senior quarterback threw three completely uncatchable balls on 2nd, 3rd and 4th down. On 4th down, he took the snap, retreated and spun around for no discernible reason.

Graham Mertz Throws Late Touchdowns The Wrong Way

Another Big Ten West quarterback did a ponderous thing!

Graham Mertz turned the ball over five times as he completed 18 of 41 passes to Wisconsin. He did throw a second touchdown late in the game after getting baited like a scrub:

I got 5 on it, it’s got me stuck and knocked on back

A Field Goal Doesn’t Happen

Michigan State took over after a 7 yard Nebraska punt, but the drive stalled out. Fortunately for Nebraska, Michigan State responded with some special teams of their own:

Shy kicker!

Nebraska Special Teams Strikes Again

Nebraska completely suffocated the Spartans offense in the second half, salting away the clock with a 20-13 lead like a true Big Ten team...until this happened.

Not to take anything away from Jayden Reed, but look at this coverage. They basically all run past him. Apparently the punt went the wrong way off the punter’s foot. This is the punting equivalent of a pick-six on a screen pass.

BTN Adds Extra Credibility To Vomit Report

Hearing a report is just fine, but you know what’s better? Visual evidence.

It’s all good, BTN. I believed you without having to see it.

Now Is Not The Time To Use That

You know, I hope my team’s players do, in fact, party. So long as they don’t get into any serious trouble or get hurt meaningfully, be college kids.

But I’ll make a notable exception for THE MORNING OF A GAME

That’s redshirt senior nose tackle Gavin Adcock, who started just four games last year but was a rotational player in all of GSU’s games.

Georgia Southern would lose to Louisiana as Adcock would record one tackle and somehow 0.5 TFL’s in his first appearance of the season. Not only has he been suspended, head coach Chad Lunsford has been fired.

Pope Excommunicates Himself

Apparently some members of the Ohio State defense are still disgruntled.

Linebacker K’Vaughan Pope was so furious about being waved off from a sub package that he went full Torii Hunter, throwing parts of his uniform all over the place.

But he wasn’t done there. He was escorted to the locker room, where he found his phone.

Well hey, maybe you can find a defense that doesn’t succ quite as much.

Pope later bacctracced, but it’s pretty difficult to come bacc from this.

Not sure he’ll be bacc.