Week 1 Mailbag Request: So...um...yeah?

Well hello again. Everyone has “played a game of football” at least once, and we probably know even less than we did before the games. Ohio State is good. This should not be surprising to anyone. Illinois is actually...not good? Once again, probably not a surprise. But what about everyone else? Well, maybe we’ll find out about Michigan after they play Washington...who just lost to Montana? Oh come on. Is Iowa that good, or did Indiana come out and play like a bunch of goddamn idiots. Maybe we’ll find out this weekend when the soon-to-be ridiculously overrated Hawkeyes take on the similarly ridiculously overrated Iowa State Cyclones in EL ASSICO!!! They warmed up for the most recent edition of the assiest rivalry in P5 football by...barely sneaking past D1-AA Northern Iowa. You know what? Nobody’s good. Even you, Rutgers. Congratulations on the win, but that was just Temple. Even Jesus tore up a Temple once.

So once again, please ask us questions about football. Because it felt really really good to be watching football again with crowds and whatnot. I hope this keeps going, because it was wonderful. Or ask us questions about food. Or the 6 iron I stuck 10’ from the green on a blind shot this morning (it was all luck and I’m still meh). Ask us whatever you’d like, and we’ll pick a few to answer later in the week.

Once again, the crack OTE staff has been given the first question by itself: “Going back however far you need to...who is your school’s Graham Mertz? (And define your terms however you want.)” Hooboy, there is some angst right there.

Thank you, and have a pleasant today.