Last week, my “dek” (the little subheading beneath the main article title, I guess?) said:

Paul Chryst isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, and Meyer is never coming to Wisconsin. Still, Urban Meyer drives clicks

So I was obviously very far off with the first part of the first sentence. God help us if I’m incorrect about the second part of the first sentence.

I don’t really have much (else) to say about the Wisconsin HC switch and firing of Chryst beyond what I chimed in with in the “Hey look Chryst got fired” piece from Monday. The only thing I want to add is this: To all of the “this is just like what Nebraska did, how dumb can Wisconsin be?!?” folks, do better.

I mean, come the fuck on. Nebraska and Wisconsin are nothing alike. Not historically, not in terms of fanbase or national appeal (waning as it might be), not in recruiting, not in philosophy, not in strategy, not in media attention, not in potential NIL payouts. The ONLY thing in common is, basically, the average number of wins per season earned by the fired coach. Pellini was fired (it’s my understanding) for two reasons: His horrible temperament and his failure to win/compete for national titles. Chryst was not fired for either of those reasons. Chryst was fired with a nationally renowned, and professionally (see, NFL) sought-after defensive coordinator waiting around to get a shot. Pellini was fired without that.

We’re still in the guessing game realm for why Chryst got fired, but my guess is Pellini before firing was brining in recruiting classes 20-30 spots higher than Chryst the last two seasons and/or for 2023. Chryst is coming off a recruiting class where he let 3? 4? of the top 5 Wisconsin players leave the state and go elsewhere. To sum it up: Pellini got fired because he wasn’t winning enough and he was a dick. Chryst (seemingly) got fired because he wasn’t winning enough recently (15-10 in his last 25 B1G games, I think), he wasn’t recruiting, he let the team go almost two years without a recruiting department, he “overhauled” a stagnant offense by bringing in a different guy to run the same offense, and because he appeared to be losing the discipline/focus of the team.

I get the urge to say “LOL DID WISCONSIN FORGET ABOUT NEBRASKA.” It’s easy, it’s lazy, and it earns lols and likes. But whether you’re comparing it to the firing of Pellini or Solich, jus know: I don’t respect you or your argument so get a better one.

Or don’t. In five years we’ll know who was right by looking at a bunch of unrelated things, making hypothetical arguments about how Hypothetical Chryst would have fared, and we’ll all agree that the knowledge that Iowa fans have to watch pure trash on offense until probably the end of time is hilarious. And that Minnesota, even in its Resurgent Amazing Years is still just middling, at best finishing second in a mediocre division with multiple NFL skill position players on its roster.

Please Note: None of this was remotely fact checked, but it feels like a correct and powerful argument. Feel free to correct me in the comments, but I’m not going to read them (the corrections. I will read all the other comments of course).

OTE’s Player of the Week: Week 5

Kyle Robertson/Columbus Dispatch / USA TODAY NETWORK

Miyan Williams - Runningback - Ohio State Buckeyes

21 carries, 189 yards, 5 touchdowns

Even the “I know it was against Rutgers” caveat can’t apply here. Even the “yeah but that’s bouyed by a single long run” caveat doesn’t change that Williams got 5+ yards whenever he felt like it on Saturday.

I completely forgot that it is legal for the team on offense to block for its running back. That seems like a pretty good strategy. Take notes, interim HC Jim Leonhard.

Click on that tweet and marvel at the variety in the human species. Also, bookmark, download, or otherwise save for a handy pocket reference to how I compare to other humans in my daily life.

Honorable Mentions

The Right Honorable (Mention) Of The Week: Week 5

Tanner Morgan occupied this space last week and he was absolutely terrible in Week 5. I’d love to curse someone else for the upcoming week, but there was not a performance that deserved the British-est of awards POTW hands out. We gotta have standards, after all!

Other Honorable Mentions

Malcom Hartzog - Special Teams - Nebraska Cornhuskers

1 30-yard touchdown return after a blocked punt

In a juster world, the guy who actually blocked the punt would get more credit than the guy who was one of seven Huskers who could have just scooped the ball up and walked into the endzone, but this is not a juster world. This is an OTE world and there are arbitrary rules we have to follow here.

Dylan Widger-USA TODAY Sports

Trey Palmer - Wide Receiver - Nebraska Cornhuskers

8 receptions, 157 yards, 1 touchdown

Second time this season that the Huskers have gotten multiple HonNoms in the same week. Look out B1G West, I guess? Also of note: I didn’t realize Palmer was a former 5* guy from LSU. There’s some actual talent there for Urban Meyer to work with starting 2023.

Mike De Sisti / Milwaukee Journal Sentinel / USA TODAY NETWORK

Andy Vujnovich - Punter - Wisconsin Badgers

4 punts, 53.5 average, 58 yard long, 2 punts inside 20

The Wisconsin Badgers could not have picked a better season to have an apparently very competent/good punter, Ohio State game not included. I expect I’ll be seeing a lot of Andy over the next handful of games, sadly.

EDIT: I just learned that Vujnovich isn’t just good, he’s the best punter in Wisconsin history (by average punt distance)! What a time to be a fan of a dumpster fire football team!

Bryce Baringer - Punter - Michigan State Spartans

5 punts, 54 yard average, 61 yard long, 1 punt inside 20

It is truly incredible how four of the worst teams in the conference (Rutgers, Wisconsin, MSU, and Iowa) have probably the four best punters in the conference. The B1G Gods have are merciful or have a sense of humor. Or both.

By the way, stay tuned for the matchup later this season between Michigan State and Wisconsin. Should be an eye bleeding punt fest the likes of which we haven’t seen since Iowa played someone.

What Did Beez Do Instead Of Watching Football?

How Did Beez’z Wife Make The Loss Sting Worse?

In what is by far the greatest betrayal by Mrs. Beez this season, she made the Illinois loss hurt worse by making sure I could watch the WHOLE game uninterrupted if I wanted. Truly villainous, if you ask me, and way worse than any witty, biting remarks would have hurt. Just hall-of-fame level “rubbing it in.” Sigh.