/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/71661494/usa_today_19468033.0.jpg)
The dangers of letting Spotify play as you do your first solo morning of “wife’s at work, I’m parenting” duty is that it’s going to create a comical soundtrack for you as you work.
May it bless these tarts.
Tinnitus A&M University
I’m dying…. @billyliucci @TexAgs @Jmackie00 pic.twitter.com/lRklHqcxYo
— Braxton Sherrill (@CoachBSherrill) November 19, 2022
That the cult just keeps singing along is a glorious thing.
More Hullabaloo, Ka-Dreck, Ka-Dreck
That’s an aggie fight song joke, kids.
This play epitomizes A&M's season thus far. pic.twitter.com/a1UIAWrahi
— Chris Hummer (@chris_hummer) November 19, 2022
The Ags are 4-7 (1-6) after their 20-3 triumph over [/checks notes] UMass. The stadium was virtually empty. Nebraska levels of sellout here.
Purdue to Offer Degree in Glass-Cutting
Expect these five engineers to be their first graduating class.
:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/24219366/not_cold.png)
I enjoy that they chose the skinniest one on which to write “NOT”.
Don’t worry, more from Northwestern-Purdue to come. But first!
Can’t Row
Shouldn’t Mel Tucker be encouraging them to CHOP through the ice or something?
Due to a lack of water, the east upper deck of Spartan Stadium is closed today and fans have been relocated. Going to be interesting to see how many show up today in bitter conditions.
— Matt Wenzel (@mwenzel2) November 19, 2022
Per Andraw Morewaterski, “We ain’t Rutgers out here, the SHItters should work at least.
It’s not a Thump Article without Illinois Content!
This week, it’s the screwjob of the century. A big grouse from the Big House. The refs’ flub at the M Club:
Michigan saved again by refs.
— Andrew_M (@TheParlayDad) November 19, 2022
How is this not a pick play? You can block now before a pass? pic.twitter.com/R8pTgeuQkl
Of course, the Big Cheese himself couldn’t let it go unnoticed:
To all #ILL players, coaches and especially for our fans…. We will work all week in practice to defend this play especially on 4th down #famILLy https://t.co/bJhpShjbcY
— Bret Bielema (@BretBielema) November 19, 2022
Bert trying to take second place to Lane Kiffin in the “college football coach-as-social media troll” world.
Poll
Did Illinois get screwed?
This poll is closed
-
68%
Yes
-
15%
No
-
16%
Even Fall’s Tarts aren’t safe from MNW’s polls
Speaking of...
Will the Lane Reign Mainly on the Plains?
The Auburn Tigers head coaching job is open. And that led one Mississippi reporter to proclaim...
BREAKING: #OleMiss HC Lane Kiffin plans to step down as the Rebels coach Friday and head to Auburn to become the Tigers next head coach, according to sources
— Jon Sokoloff (@JonSokoloff) November 22, 2022
Sources say the Tigers haven’t officially offered the job to anyone yet.
So Lane to Auburn is happening. Story soon.
Mr. Kiffin, your rebuttal?
That’s news to me Jon. ♂️. Nice sources https://t.co/P8rdpxEk0p
— Lane Kiffin (@Lane_Kiffin) November 22, 2022
And thus it ended there, yes? Surely Lane Kiffin would ride off into the distance, nothing but the Egg Bowl with Ole Miss rival Mississippi State to focus o—
— Lane Kiffin (@Lane_Kiffin) November 22, 2022
You beautiful, petty, sunburnt man.
Rocky Mountain “Why?”
Boise State and Wyoming on Saturday...uh...
Just in case it’s unclear what happened there...
For those who missed it, the final sequence of Boise State's 20-17 win over Wyoming was just nutty: pic.twitter.com/ROQxWOGVt1
— RedditCFB (@RedditCFB) November 20, 2022
Like Bills-Vikings, but somehow dumber.
San “D’oh!”-se
How does Thump come up with these headings every week?
Anyway, down 35-31, San Jose State lined up as Utah State attempted a 37-yard field goal that would’ve put the Aggies up 38-31. Spartans to get the ball next, and...
...oh no, Spartans. Not like that.
Anyway, both San Jose State and, now, Utah State are bowl-eligible. More Mountain West mediocrity’s always OK by me, though.
‘Catsketball? More like Casketball; or, “More like Patrick Ewwww-ing”
Last Tuesday, in the Gavitt Games, the Northwestern Basketball Wildcats traveled to the nation’s capital for a date with the moribund Georgetown Hoyas. What ensued transcended farce:
— No Context College Basketball (@ContextFreeCBB) November 16, 2022
This is like an episode of Community where the parody folds in on itself. There’s no point trying to top this.
A Troika of Tarts
But let’s see if Purdue and Northwestern can’t try, huh?
First, on an awful pick-six thrown by fourth-string Northwestern quarterback Cole Freeman, Purdue LB Jalen Graham ran afoul of the cranky old white men who write college football’s rules:
This Purdue Pick 6 was erased because LB Jalen Graham “excessively high stepped” into the end zone and was given an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty pic.twitter.com/UsbMvwCLKb
— Bad Sports Refs (@BadSportsRefs) November 20, 2022
That was called back. Purdue ball in Northwestern territory. No big deal, right? After all, watch what happens when Northwestern tries to play defense:
One more time, but from a different angle:
God, this team is so bad at defense. Surely, though, Purdue made them pay...
The collective groan and booing from the Purdue faithful was delightful. Trotting out your kicker for a 47-yard field goal into the wind. An exquisitely B1G West tart. No notes.
There you go. These were some silly things that happened. I wrote this in under an hour, but I sure hope Thump is back next week because this was really a journey.
kid’s waking up gotta go byeeeeeee
Poll
Tartiest of the Week?
This poll is closed
-
13%
Tinnitus A&M
-
2%
More like the Saggies
-
0%
Glass-Cutting 101
-
2%
Freezst Lansing
-
8%
The Refs’ Flub at the M Club
-
8%
Lane Reign on the Plains
-
8%
Rocky Mountain "Why?"
-
0%
San "D’oh!"-se
-
32%
Casketball; or, Patrick Ewwww-ing
-
16%
The Stupidest Northwestern-Purdue Sequence
-
7%
Letting MNW do Fall’s Tarts in the first place
Loading comments...