Note: This article is purely to inform you of the time, TV, odds, line, spread, betting, and general vibe of the college football schedule. Any learning you do, entertainment you draw, or commentary you glean from the words that follow is purely coincidental and not the intent of sports blog nation dot com.

I was thinking back this morning to a time when FBS had an odd number of teams. What would happen to that odd team out on Thanksgiving weekend? Far from playing your mortal enemy, instead you’re stuck without a game or, stupidly, playing an FCS team. Gross.

The last season where there were technically a set odd number of teams (no one transitioning to FBS) was 2007, when there were 119 teams in what was then D1-AA football. That final week, both Houston played Texas Southern and North Texas played FCS independent (soon to be FBS team) Western Kentucky. But that doesn’t help me—it means one team was left out! WHO?!

It was apparently less of a consideration at the time—the following week, Dec. 1, 2007, was a “Week 14” of not only conference championship games (UCF beat Tulsa for the C-USA title and Oklahoma spanked #1 Mizzou for the Big XII championship), but that Backyard Brawl, where Pitt knocked off then-#2 West Virginia, 13-9. In 2006, same thing.

Those results go back as far as I cared to look (2005), so this was a colossal waste of my time.

Thankfully, I did it while doing the cooking for our Thanksgiving dinner. My mom has liked, in recent years, to ask my little sister to create a Google doc where we all sign up for dishes to bring, but she doesn’t tell us it’s made until she has the chance to sign up for seven dishes and leave us all jockeying to bring the fruit salad or rolls or cranberry sauce. Annoys the absolute bejesus out of me.

That is, in particular, because I love green bean casserole. I just do.

[/puts on Hat of Every Recipe Website Everywhere]

I remember the first time I made green bean casserole. It was New Year’s Eve, 2006—

OK, fine. I can take a hint. But there

[/nervously slips hat back on]

There’s something about a nice, creamy scoop of green bean casserole with french fried onions: I like to buy some Irish butter and artisanal onions from the back of a truck in my local farmer’s market—Miguel, I see you!—and frying them up might take an additional three hours, but my wife and kids all love them—

Fine, let’s just get to the damn games.

MNW’s Not-At-All Plagiarized Trivia Because He Didn’t Host Last Night Because Some Apparently Prefer Bands to Good Trivia on Drunksgiving

1. In 2022 two already-existing Division I basketball teams changed their names—not their nicknames or mascots, but the actual names of their universities. Name either.
2. In the Sherlock Holmes canon, Watson does this 11 times, while Holmes does it only 6. In one of these instances, it was “sudden” and “caused me to wake up, and I found the summer sun shining into the apartment. The pipe was still between his lips.”
3. What reality game show featuring subterfuge was originally hosted by Anderson Cooper and ran from 2001-2008 before being rebooted for Netflix with Alex Wagner as host in 2022?
4. With the guidance of Ozaawindib, Henry Schoolcraft was the first white person to discover the source of what body of water?
5. Extending northwest and bordered mostly by Botswana and Zambia, the Caprivi Strip is the geographic penis of what African nation?

Thanksgiving Afternoon

Our full college basketball piece is here. Sorry, not enough time to tell you all those games, too:

Don’t Watch This

{NFL} Buffalo Bills at Detroit Lions [11:30am, CBS]
{FIFA} Brazil vs. Serbia [1pm, FS1]
{NFL} New York Giants at Dallas Cowboys [3:30pm, FOX]

Watch That

UA-Pine Bluff Golden Lions at Alabama State Hornets

2pm | ESPN+ | ASU -18 | O/U 45.5

Oh man I never actually finished the story. I made a green bean casserole anyway. Someone there besides me will want to eat it, damnit. Am I a monster?

Thanksgiving Evening

Don’t Watch This

{NFL} New England Patriots at Minnesota Vikings [7:20pm, NBC]

Watch That

Mississippi State Bulldogs at #20 Ole Miss Rebels

6pm | ESPN | Ole Miss -2 | O/U 61

I’m in favor of the Vikings playing on Thanksgiving night for two reasons:

1. Fewer morons on the road when I am on the road
2. I don’t have to watch it out of obligation at my parents’ house

Friday Morning

Don’t Watch This

Baylor Bears at #23 Texas Longhorns (-8.5, O/U 56) [11am, ESPN]
Utah State Aggies at Boise State Broncos (-17, O/U 51.5) [11am, CBS]
Central Michigan Chippewas at Eastern Michigan Eagles (-7.5, O/U 52.5) [11am, CBSSN]

Watch That

#19 Tulane Green Wave at #24 Cincinnati Bearcats

11am | ABC | Cincy -1 | O/U 46.5

{World Cup} Netherlands vs. Ecuador

10am | FOX | NL -122/EC +370/Draw +265 | O/U 2.5

With a win in The Factory, Eastern Michigan would secure its first outright Michigan MAC Trophy since 2011 (it repeated in 2012, going 1-1 and holding the trophy on tiebreakers).

The Tulane-Cincy game is intriguing—both teams are 6-1 in the AAC but lost to 5-2 UCF, who plays moribund South Florida tomorrow in the War on I-4. So it’s likely the loser in this one stays home. PLAY IN GAME! HELL YEAH!

Friday Afternoon

Don’t Watch This

NC State Wolfpack at #17 North Carolina Tar Heels (-6.5, O/U 56) [2:30pm, ABC]
Arkansas Razorbacks (-3, O/U 55.5) at Missouri Tigers [2:30pm, CBS]
Nebraska Cornhuskers at Iowa Hawkeyes (-10.5, O/U 38.5) [3pm, BTN]
#18 UCLA Bruins (-10, O/U 60.5) at California Golden Bears [3:30pm, FOX]

Watch That

Arizona State Sun Devils at Arizona Wildcats

2pm | FS1 | Arizona -4 | O/U 65.5

New Mexico Lobos at Colorado State Rams

2:30pm | CBSSN | CSU -7.5 | O/U 35

{World Cup} USMNT vs. Jolly Old Londontown

2pm | FOX | EN -182/US +400/Draw +275 | O/U 2.5

Britain is winless against the United States in the two sides’ existence, with a pair of American wins in 1950 and 1776 and a pair of draws in 2010 and 1812-1815.

Best of luck to all parties involved.

Friday Evening

Don’t Watch This

Florida Gators at Florida State Seminoles (-10.5, O/U 58) [6:30pm, ABC]

Watch That

College Basketball or Something?

One of the great things about the rebuild happening at Florida and the Jay Norvell Era at FSU is that we don’t have to hear about the state of Florida football. At all! It’s been since Dan Mullen’s 2019 season that we even had to think about “Are the Gators good?” and I love it. Long may the state of Florida’s saggy ineptitude stay the hell off my radar.

#25 Iowa’s facing Clemson in the Emerald Coast Classic. Maybe the Battle 4 Atlantis is still happening. I dunno—I’m sure you can do better.

It’s late (Friday) and I’m drunk...

Don’t Watch This

Watch That

Wyoming Cowboys at Fresno State Bulldogs

9pm | FS1 | Fresno -15 | O/U 50.5

Here’s where you can’t: the ‘Pokes aren’t exactly road warriors, but I’m not sure I’d put them over two touchdowns behind the Jake Haener-led Bulldogs. Fresno’s already locked up an appearance in the Mountain West Championship Game against Boise, so perhaps this one’s a little closer than you think...

Saturday Morning

Don’t Watch This

Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets at #1 Georgia Bulldogs (-35.5, O/U 49) [11am, ESPN]
#3 Michigan Wolverines at #2 Ohio State (-7.5, O/U 56) [11am, FOX]
South Carolina Gamecocks at #8 Clemson Tigers (-14.5, O/U 52) [11am, ABC]
Army Black Knights (-20, O/U 45) at UMass Minutemen [11am, ESPN+]
New Mexico State Aggies at Sportswashing U (-24, O/U 51) [11am, ESPN+]
Rutgers Scarlet Knights at Maryland Terrapins (-14, O/U 49) [11am, BTN]
Coastal Carolina Chanticleers at James Madison Dukes (-14, O/U 54) [11am, ESPNU]
Old Dominion Monarchs at South Alabama Jaguars (-15.5, O/U 48) [11am, ESPN+]
Georgia State Panthers at Marshall Thundering Herd (-6, O/U 45) [11am, ESPN+]
Elon Phoenix at Furman Paladins [11am, ESPN+ — FCS Playoffs first round]
East Carolina Pirates (-10.5, O/U 50) at Temple Owls [12pm, ESPN+]
Kent State Golden Flashes at Buffalo Bulls (-4, O/U 53) [12pm, ESPN+]
Akron Zips at Northern Illinois Huskies (-10, O/U 53) [12:30pm, ESPN3]

{FA Cup} Dagenham & Redbridge vs. Gillingham [11am, ESPN+]

Watch That

West Virginia Mountaineers at Oklahoma State Cowboys

11am | ESPN2 | OKSt -8.5 | O/U 63

Western Kentucky Hilltoppers at Florida Atlantic Owls

11am | CBSSN | WKU -7.5 | O/U 61

{World Cup} France vs. Denmark

10am | FS1 | FR -125/EC +360/Draw +250 | O/U 2.5

I didn't realize how exhausting it'd be to have a whole extra day of "Morning/Afternoon/Evening" games to do. Every year I do this, every year I forget.

I'll be up at the cabin for this one, but the real bummer is that the wifi at the cabin necessitates just watching the football we get on the antenna. That's a bummer because it's time for my Yearly Hot Take: I do not care about The Game. No amount of hype or "1 vs. 2" rankings or Gus Johnson screaming can convince me to care about two odious fanbases and schools. This is basically Maryland-Rutgers on my radar, but with higher stakes.

Saturday Afternoon

Don’t Watch This

Rice Owls at North Texas Mean Green (-14, O/U 59) [1pm, ESPN+]
Grambling Tigers at Southern Jaguars [1pm, NBC]
St. Francis (PA) Red Flash at Delaware Fightin’ Blue Hens [1pm, ESPN+]
Fordham Rams at New Hampshire Wildcats [1pm, ESPN+]
Davidson Wildcats at Richmond Spiders [1pm, ESPN+]
#25 Louisville Cardinals at Kentucky Wildcats (-3, O/U 43) [2pm, SECN]
Auburn Tigers at #7 Alabama Crimson Tide (-22, O/U 50.5) [2:30pm, CBS]
Illinois Fighting Illini (-14.5, O/U 38) at Northwestern Wildcats [2:30pm, BTN] HAT HAT HAT HAT HAT
Minnesota Golden Gophers at wisconsin badgers (-3, O/U 36) [2:30pm, ESPN]
Purdue Boilermakers (-10.5, O/U 54) at Indiana Hoosiers [2:30pm, BTN]
Wake Forest Demon Deacons (-3.5, O/U 66.5) at Duke Blue Devils [2:30pm, ACCN]
Hawai’i Rainbow Warriors at San Jose State Spartans (-15, O/U 57.5) [2:30pm, TheMW]
Troy Trojans (-13.5, O/U 46) at Arkansas State Red Wolves [2:30pm, ESPNU]
UTEP Miners at UTSA Roadrunners (-17, O/U 56.5) [2:30pm, Stadium]
Iowa State Cyclones at #4 TCU Horned Frogs (-10, O/U 47.5) [3pm, FOX]
Michigan State Spartans at #11 Penn State Nittany Lions (-18.5, O/U 53) [3pm, FS1]
#14 Utah Utes (-29.5, O/U 52) at Colorado Buffaloes [3pm, Pac-12]
North Dakota Fighting Hawks at Weber State Wildcats [3pm, ESPN+]
Southern Miss Golden Iggles (-3, O/U 50.5) at UL Monroe Warhawks [4pm, ESPN+]
Louisiana Ragin’ Cajuns (-5, O/U 45) at Texas State Bobcats [4pm, ESPN+]
Gardner-Webb Runnin’ Bulldogs at Eastern Kentucky Colonels [4pm, ESPN+]

Watch That

#9 Oregon Ducks at #21 Oregon State Beavers

2:30pm | ABC | UO -3 | O/U 58.5

Memphis Tigers at SMU Cocaine Ponies

2:30pm | ESPN2 | SMU -4.5 | O/U 69

{World Cup} Argentina vs. Mexico

2pm | FS1 | AR -175/MX +533/Draw +291 | O/U 2.5

Are you tired of the World Cup info yet? Not sure what's happening? Here's your guide:

Otherwise I dunno, just take the points and an extra slice of pumpkin pie. You've earned it.

Saturday Evening

Don’t Watch This

Appalachian State Mountaineers (-4.5, O/U 63) at Georgia Southern Eagles [5pm, ESPN+]
Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders (-19.5, O/U 55) at FIU Sunblazers [5pm, ESPN3]
#5 LSU Tigers (-10, O/U 47.5) at Texas A&M Aggies [6pm, ESPN]
#22 UCF Citronauts (-19.5, O/U 68) at South Florida Brahman Bulls [6pm, ESPN2]
Idaho Vandals at SE Louisiana Lions [6pm, ESPN+]
#15 Notre Dame Fighting Irish at #6 USC Trojans (-5.5, O/U 64.5) [6:30pm, ABC]
#10 Tennessee Volunteers (-14, O/U 64) at Vanderbilt Commodores [6:30pm, SECN]
Oklahoma Sooners (-2, O/U 64) at Texas Tech Red Raiders [6:30pm, FS1]
Syracuse Orange (-10.5, O/U 47) at Boston College Eagles [6:30pm, ESPN3]
Tulsa Golden Hurricane at Houston Cougars (-12, O/U 67) [6:30pm, ESPNU]
Pittsburgh Panthers (-6.5, O/U 43.5) at Miami Fluoride Hurricanes [7pm, ACCN]

Watch That

Nevada Wolf Pack at UNLV Rebels

5pm | TheMW | UNLV -12.5 | O/U 49
THE BATTLE FOR THE FREMONT CANNON

Kansas Jayhawks at #12 Kansas State Wildcats

7pm | FOX | K-State -11.5 | O/U 62.5
THE BATTLE FOR THE SUNFLOWER CUP

Look, maybe Notre Dame and USC getting a tongue-bath while playing for a bedazzled stick is your thing. But outside their fame and fortune, that game doesn’t mean shit. When in doubt, you go with the in-state rivalries. On an evening where there’s a lot of doubt and mediocrity swirling, let’s see if bowl-bound Kansas can topple its more successful purple rival or if Nevada-UNLV—the rivalry that once featured a brawl and/or a team dissembling the rivalry trophy to get it through security at Las Vegas Airport—descends into madness.

It’s late (Saturday) and I’m drunk...

Go ahead. You earned it.

Don’t Watch This

SEMO State Redhawks at Montana Grizzles [9pm, ESPN2]
BYU Cougars (-6.5, O/U 57.5) at Stanford Cardinal [10pm, FS1]

Watch That

Air Force Falcons at San Diego State Aztecs

8pm | CBSSN | AFA -1.5 | O/U 43.5

#13 Washington Huskies at Washington State Cougars

9:30pm | ESPN | UW -2 | O/U 60

Any of these four games could be nice and dumb. I say you've earned it:

Enjoy the games, everyone. And thank you for reading OTE. Amid all the closures and bullshit from Corporate in 2022, I'm truly baffled and grateful that we're still here and to all of you for reading.

Travel safely, tolerate your family, enjoy the green bean casserole, and have a great Thanksgiving.

MNW’s Not-At-All Plagiarized Trivia Because He Didn’t Host Last Night Because Some Apparently Prefer Bands to Good Trivia on Drunksgiving

1. Utah Tech (from Dixie State) and Houston Christian (from Houston Baptist)
2. “ejaculate” (or “ejaculation”)
3. The Mole
4. Mississippi River (at Lake Itasca)
5. Namibia