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The Philadelphia Potatoes: Your Week 10 Guide to the College Football Schedule—Don’t Watch This; Watch That

We drunkely watch the World Series and learn a little about ourselves in the process.

By MNWildcat
/ new
Wing Bowl 25 Photo by Mitchell Leff/Getty Images

Note: This article is purely to inform you of the time, TV, odds, line, spread, betting, and general vibe of the college football schedule. Any learning you do, entertainment you draw, or commentary you glean from the words that follow is purely coincidental and not the intent of sports blog nation dot com.

It’s late already, so here’s a brief journey through watching the World Series the other night. It was about 11pm, I’d been up grading for a bit, and I wasn’t expecting to be interrupted. But my wife comes out of the bedroom and decides she’s going to pump right there on the couch, because the kid’s not waking to feed.

Wife, sitting down: “Philadelphia...Phils?”

Me: “No, but you’re close.”

Wife: ”Philadelphia...Pilots?”

“Philadelphia...pirates?”

It took her four guesses until she saw a graphic on the screen.

She then just started suggesting alternate names for the Phillies and making herself laugh: “The Pilots!”

“The Pornstars!”

”The Potatoes!” And at that point, it wasn’t enough to just think of teams—she needed to start giving them slogans: “Dunk me in ketchup, put me in your mouth.”

With two minutes a World Cup ad had come on, and she pivoted talking about “Hot Santa” — Jon Hamm. But she doesn’t know his name. I inform her.

Wife: ”Is that Mia Hamm’s husband?”

Me: “That’s Nomar Garciaparra.”

Wife: “Who’s that?”

MNW’s Lightly Plagiarized Trivia:

  1. In honor of MACtion beginning on Tuesday and our farm-themed Power Poll: Ball State and Northern Illinois compete for what rivalry trophy?
  2. On November 2, 1948, the Chicago Tribune famously ran a headline incorrectly claiming that which candidate had won the previous day’s presidential election?
  3. In 1925, Cecilia Payne discovered that the sun and stars are composed primarily of what two elements—something fans of They Might Be Giants might know?
  4. The ironically-named Frank Beard played drums on hits like “Legs” and “Tush” for what rock band?
  5. Two animals hold up the coat of arms of the United Kingdom. One is a lion. The other, a fictional creature, is the national animal of Scotland. What is it?

Thursday Evening

Don’t Watch This

Alabama A&M Bulldogs at Mississippi Valley Delta Devils [6:30pm, ESPNU]
{NFL} Philadelphia Eagles at Houston Texans [7:15pm, bezoscast]

{MLB} Houston Astros at Philadelphia Phillies [7:03pm, FOX]
{NBA} Denver Nuggets at Oklahoma City Thunder [7pm, NBAtv]

Watch That

UTEP Miners at Rice Owls

6pm | CBSSN | Rice -3.5 | O/U 48

Appalachian State Mountaineers at Coastal Carolina Chanticleers

6:30pm | ESPN | App -3 | O/U 64

{B1GVB} #3 wisconsin at Illinois

7pm | BTN

I do try to make the hard choices and recommend just one game you should watch, so consider Rice being here mostly because I’m curious—is Mike Bloomgren finally getting his rebuild in Houston off the ground? Rice is 4-4 (2-2) and looking to go bowling for the first time since David Bailiff led them to the Hawai’i Bowl in 2014.

But Appalachian State-Coastal is, of course, the headliner here. The ‘Neers have disappeared from the national radar after setbacks to James Madison (understandable) and Texas State (wut), but they’re still 5-3 (2-2). Coastal took a 49-21 pounding at Old Dominion a couple weeks back, but they’re 7-1 (4-1) and still angling for another East Division title. App State can peg them back—truth be told, though, I don’t know why the ‘Neers are 3-point favorites. Should be fun!

Poll

Thursday night. What’s on?

This poll is closed

  • 10%
    App State-Coastal
    (9 votes)
  • 5%
    UTEP-Rice
    (5 votes)
  • 1%
    Alabama A&M-Mississippi Valley?! You beauty.
    (1 vote)
  • 32%
    uh there is the ritual disembowelment of houston on, sir
    (28 votes)
  • 19%
    B1G Volleyball, thanks
    (17 votes)
  • 30%
    something else?
    (26 votes)
86 votes total Vote Now

Friday Evening

Don’t Watch This

Duke Blue Devils (-9.5, O/U 47) at Boston College Eagles [6pm, ESPN2]
Alcorn State Braves at Prairie View A&M Panthers [6:30pm, ESPNU]

{NBA} Chicago Bulls at Boston Celtics [6:30pm, ESPN]
{NBA} Milwaukee Bucks at Minnesota Timberwolves [9pm, ESPN]

Watch That

Massachusetts Minutemen at UConn Huskies

6pm | CBSSN | UConn -15.5 | O/U 40

#23 Oregon State Beavers at Washington Huskies

9:30pm | ESPN2 | UW -3.5 | O/U 54.5

OH. YES.

It is astonishing the turnaround Jim Mora, Jr., has engineered in just a few months in Storrs/East Hartford: UConn is 4-5, having strangled Boston College 13-3 last weekend. The Huskies have work to do—they’ll need wins over UMass and likely Army in their season finale, assuming they lose to the Fucking Falwells—but they’ve beaten the teams in front of them, secured a P5 win for the first time since a 13-10 win over Virginia in September 2016.

Poll

Happy Friday: you’ve got a real smorgasbord here!

This poll is closed

  • 20%
    UMass-UConn AND Husky-Beav
    (18 votes)
  • 9%
    Just UMass-UConn
    (8 votes)
  • 30%
    Just Husky-Beav
    (27 votes)
  • 3%
    Duke-Boston College
    (3 votes)
  • 1%
    Alcorn-Prairie View
    (1 vote)
  • 12%
    Basketball?
    (11 votes)
  • 22%
    Hockey?
    (20 votes)
88 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Morning

Don’t Watch This

#2 Ohio State Buckeyes (-38, O/U 60.5) at Northwestern Wildcats [11am, ABC]
Air Force Falcons (-7, O/U 40) at Army Black Knights [10:30am, CBS]
#17 North Carolina Tar Heels (-7.5 O/U 59) at Virginia Cavaliers [11am, ACCN]
Kentucky Wildcats (-2, O/U 41) at Missouri Tigers [11am, SECN]
Florida Gators at Texas A&M Aggies (-3.5, O/U 54) [11am, ESPN]
Minnesota Golden Gophers (-16, O/U 46.5) at Nebraska Cornhuskers [11am, ESPN2]
Iowa Hawkeyes at Purdue Boilermakers (-4.5, O/U 42) [11am, FS1]
Maryland Terrapins at wisconsin badgers (-5, O/U 50.5) [11am, BTN]
Western Kentucky Hilltoppers (-16.5, O/U 72) at Charlotte 49ers [11am, CBSSN]
Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets at Virginia Tech Hokies (-3, O/U 40.5) [11:30am, ESPN3]

{EPL} Leeds United vs. AFC Bournemouth [10am, Peacock]
{EPL} Manchester City vs. Fulham [10am, USA]
{EPL} Nottingham Forest vs. Brentford [10am, Peacock]
{EPL} Wolverhampton Wanderers vs. Brighton & Hove Albion [10am, Peacock]
{EFL} Swansea City vs. Wigan Athletic [10am, ESPN+]
{FA Cup} Charlton Athletic vs. Coalville Town [10am, ESPN+]
{EPL} Everton vs. Leicester City [12:30pm, NBC]
{La Liga} Celta de Vigo vs. Osasuna [12:30pm, ESPN+]
{Bundesliga} Werder Bremen vs. Schalke 04 [12:30pm, ESPN+]

Watch That

Texas Tech Red Raiders at #7 TCU Horned Frogs

11am | FOX | TCU -9.5 | O/U 69.5

#19 Tulane Green Wave at Tulsa Golden Hurricane

11am | ESPNU | Tulane -7.5 | O/U 58

Twelve games this morning, only five home favorites. Should be fun, right?

Anyway, Tulane is living their best life right now:

I have no idea how Willie Fritz does it, but it’s fun football and, even against a defensive-minded team like Tulsa, it should be a good watch. Roll Wave, baby.

Poll

Good morning! Wake and watch...

This poll is closed

  • 12%
    ...Tech-TCU, the two best teams in Texas
    (13 votes)
  • 4%
    Tulane-Tulsa
    (5 votes)
  • 74%
    My Big Ten team is playing at this time
    (75 votes)
  • 7%
    /twirls mustache, watches soccer
    (8 votes)
101 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Afternoon

Don’t Watch This

South Florida Brahman Bulls (-3.5, O/U 51) at Temple Owls [1pm, ESPN+]
Marshall Thundering Herd (-3, O/U 47) at Old Dominion Monarchs [1pm, ESPN+]
Baylor Bears at Oklahoma Sooners (-3.5, O/U 57.5) [2pm, ESPN+]
Georgia State Panthers at Southern Miss Golden Eagles (-2, O/U 48) [2pm, ESPN+]
Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders (-2.5, O/U 63) at Louisiana Tech Bulldogs [2pm, ESPN+]
#1 Tennessee Volunteers at #3 Georgia Bulldogs (-8.5, O/U 66) [2:30pm, CBS]
#8 Oregon Ducks (-31.5, O/U 61.5) at Colorado Buffaloes [2:30pm, ESPN]
#15 Penn State Nittany Lions (-14, O/U 50.5) at Indiana Hoosiers [2:30pm, ABC]
Michigan State Spartans at #16 Illinois Fighting Illini (-16, O/U 41.5) [2:30pm, BTN]
#20 Syracuse Orange at Pittsburgh Panthers (-3, O/U 48) [2:30pm, ACCN]
#25 UCF Citronauts (-3.5, O/U 58.5) at Memphis Tigers [2:30pm, ESPN2]
Washington State Cougars (-5, O/U 49.5) at Stanford Cardinal [2:30pm, Pac-12]
West Virginia Mountaineers at Iowa State Cyclones (-7, O/U 50.5) [2:30pm, ESPN+]
New Mexico Lobos at Utah State Aggies (-16.5, O/U 43.5) [2:30pm, CBSSN]
Sportswashing, American-Style at Arkansas Razorbacks (-13.5, O/U 63) [3pm, SECN]
Navy Midshipmen at Cincinnati Bearcats (-19.5, O/U 46.5) [3pm, ESPNU]
South Alabama Jaguars (-4, O/U 60.5) at Georgia Southern Eagles [3pm, ESPN+]
FIU Sunblazers at North Texas Mean Green (-21, O/U 62) [3pm, ESPN+]
Troy Trojans (-5.5, O/U 43.5) at Louisiana Ragin’ Cajuns [4pm, ESPN+]
Texas State Bobcats at Louisiana Monroe Warhawks (-1.5, O/U 52) [4pm, ESPN3]
#1 South Dakota State Jackrabbits at [RV] Northern Iowa Panthers [4pm, ESPN+]

{MLS} Los Angeles FC vs. Philadelphia Union [3pm, FOX]

Watch That

#18 Oklahoma State Cowboys at Kansas Jayhawks

2:30pm | FS1 | OKSt -2 | O/U 63.5

UTSA Roadrunners at UAB Blazers

2:30pm | Stadium | UTSA -1 | O/U 52

Just a quick shoutout to the MLS, hosting its championship on Saturday afternoon in Los Angeles, where it is being a Very Serious League:

LOT of trash on this afternoon—but two games with conference race implications in OSU-KSU and UTSA-UAB. I wouldn’t kick UCF-Memphis out of bed, either.

Poll

As I suit up to have 6 blessed hours with no parental responsibility, you flip on...

This poll is closed

  • 20%
    Okie Lite/K-State
    (20 votes)
  • 5%
    Birds-Dragons
    (5 votes)
  • 36%
    My Big Ten team is playing at this time
    (35 votes)
  • 6%
    The joke of an MLS Championship
    (6 votes)
  • 31%
    Something else!
    (31 votes)
97 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Evening

Don’t Watch This

#6 Alabama Crimson Tide (-13.5, O/U 58) at #10 LSU Tigers [6pm, ESPN]
#24 Texas Longhorns (-2.5, O/U 54.5) at #13 Kansas State Wildcats [6pm, FS1]
BYU Cougars at Boise State Broncos (-7.5, O/U 55.5) [6pm, FS2]
UNLV Rebels at San Diego State Aztecs (-6.5, O/U 48.5) [6pm, CBSSN]
#4 Clemson Tigers (-3.5, O/U 44.5) at Notre Dame Fighting Irish [6:30pm, NBC]
#5 Michigan Wolverines (-26, O/U 45.5) at Rutgers Scarlet Knights [6:30pm, BTN]
Arizona Wildcats at #14 Utah Utes (-17.5, O/U 67) [6:30pm, Pac-12]
South Carolina Gamecocks (-7, O/U 48) at Vanderbilt Commodores [6:30pm, SECN]
James Madison Dukes at Louisville Cardinals (-7.5, O/U 52.5) [6:30pm, ESPNU]
Florida State Seminoles (-7.5, O/U 53) at Miami Hurricanes [6:30pm, ABC]
#21 Wake Forest Demon Deacons (-4.5, O/U 54) at #22 NC State Wolfpack [7pm, ACCN]

{MLB} World Series, probably

Watch That

Houston Cougars at SMU Cocaine Ponies

6pm | NFL Network | SMU -3 | O/U 66.5

Auburn Tigers at Mississippi State Bulldogs

6:30pm | ESPN2 | CLANGA -13 | O/U 52

I did not know LSU was remotely good. I just have the image of Brian Kelly dancing in my head. But good for them, I guess!

No, instead, either give me Texas’s two forgotten-about teams OR the shitshow that will be Auburn-Clanga. To wit:

  • Auburn fired Bryan Harsin
  • Auburn then poached Mississippi State’s athletics director

Add to that (1) a team in Auburn that loves to do dumb shit, and (B) Mike Leach, and...uh...

Poll

Saturday night! I survive cringey speeches and, as I hit the dance floor, you turn to...

This poll is closed

  • 19%
    COOGS-COCAINE PONIES
    (17 votes)
  • 14%
    AUBURN-CLANGA
    (13 votes)
  • 12%
    My Big Ten team is playing at this time
    (11 votes)
  • 22%
    uh alabama-lsu will be so great, mnw
    (20 votes)
  • 18%
    sticky bats
    (16 votes)
  • 12%
    something else i’ll tell you about in the comments
    (11 votes)
88 votes total Vote Now

It’s late and I’m drunk...

Don’t Watch This

California Golden Bears at #9 USC Trojans (-21.5, O/U 60) [9:30pm, ESPN]
Colorado State Rams at San Jose State Spartans (-24, O/U 45) [9:30pm, TheMW]
Hawai’i Rainbow Warriors at Fresno State Bulldogs (-24.5, O/U 62) [9:30pm, FS2]

Watch That

#12 UCLA Bruins at Arizona State Sun Devils

8:30pm | FS1 | UCLA -10.5 | O/U 66

This is about as bleak as it gets. But, thankfully, San Jose State aren’t world-beaters, Hawai’i can get frisky at the right time, and the two ranked Pac-12 teams can put up points. Maybe there’s soccer on, too. Let’s get dumb.

Poll

I roll in, my mother-in-law tries to make conversation as my wife takes the screaming child off to feed, and I flip on...

This poll is closed

  • 20%
    UCLA-ASU
    (17 votes)
  • 4%
    Cal-USC
    (4 votes)
  • 5%
    Colorado State-San Jose State
    (5 votes)
  • 5%
    Hawai’i-Fresno
    (5 votes)
  • 15%
    The dregs of bad baseball
    (13 votes)
  • 2%
    There’s still soccer on! How could you forget?
    (2 votes)
  • 8%
    Whatever the bar has on
    (7 votes)
  • 37%
    lol i passed out hours ago
    (32 votes)
85 votes total Vote Now

Enjoy the games, everybody.

MNW’s Lightly Plagiarized Trivia:

  1. The Bronze Stalk
  2. Thomas Dewey
  3. hydrogen and helium
  4. ZZ Top (Frank Beard did not have a beard; all the other band members did)
  5. A unicorn

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