The Weekly Mailbag waves goodbye to divisions, eats wild game, and prepares for LA schools.

Howdy. I don’t know if any of you knew, but it’s time for another weekend of B1G football. And this weekend...yeah, it’s not a good slate of games. If I’m a TV network employee that had to spend the last week hyping up these matchups, I’m probably checking myself into rehab. And while the B1G loves to serve up stupidity when we least expect it, I’m not exactly holding my breath.

That’s why I’ve got my backup plans in place. I’ve already taken MiddleSchoolSpeedReceiver to watch the Minnesota big school girls’ soccer title game this morning (The good gals from Rosemount defeated Edina 1-0, much to the joy of the kid), we’ve been to the always-magnificent Blue Door for lunch, stopped at Guitar Center (she now wants a bright glitter pink Ibanez guitar. It may be purchased for Christmas), and are going to a HS football game tonight against another suburb full of cake eaters. Hopefully this will satisfy my football fix for the weekend and I can get through tomorrow with just the radio call, because nobody should have to sit through Minnesota-Nebraska. Just send your donation to my friends running the Chair-ity and find a way to get through the day. And if you’re not a fan of either of these teams, I’m sure your donation to either Team Jack or the University of Minnesota Children’s hospital will be graciously accepted. And you won’t have to watch your team play tomorrow either.

Have a great weekend, and Godspeed.

B1G West (and East) was confirmed for next season, but will likely be gone for 2024. Any positive memories of the division? Anything you would like to see happen before it dies? - DtownK

misdreavus79: No and no.

BoilerUp89: I would like to see Purdue and Illinois both represent the West in Indianapolis before the death of the beloved West division.

RockyMtnBlue: Unlike Legends and Leaders, we didn’t have a protected crossover. This is great since we’re not at a competitive disadvantage to win the division (except, you know, being a considerably lesser program than OSU). I suspect that starting in ‘24, we’ll be playing OSU every year while everyone else plays them about half the time. This will go back to pissing me off.

Thumpasaurus: You’re gonna have to wait til I finish the music video for my Big Ten West anthem.

HWAHSQB: I will miss everything about the west. It is perfect.

MNW: Yeah, I miss winning it two more times than Minnesota ever did.

And now, magnanimously, I will let WSR have the last word:

WSR: I’d really like to see Minnesota win a division. It’d be kinda cool.

What’s your favorite type of wild game to eat? Got any good recipes? - Free Beer Tomorrow

misdreavus79: Uh, ostrich? I don’t know I don’t hunt.

RockyMtnBlue: What misdreavus said. A friend used to make pretty good venison jerky. Let’s go with that.

HWAHSQB: I love rabbit. If they sold rabbit at Aldi or Hy-Vee, I would definitely buy it. Stuffed with sage and garlic and smoked is pretty good as is cooked on the grill with BBQ sauce.

MNW: A grad school friend once, while we were over and playing Risk at his apartment, pulled an elk steak out of the freezer, thawed it, fried it, and ate it without ever asking any of us if we wanted any. It was the most brazen move I’ve ever seen.

My South Dakota friends tell me venison chislic is the delicacy I’ve never had that I need to. And I would love to try some.

WSR: Venison jerky. It’s so damn good.

Does anybody have suggestions on how to lure Jim O’Neil into my basement? - HistoryCat

misdreavus79: Well he’s retired so unless you’re looking to avenge past trauma he can’t hurt you anymore.

BoilerUp89: What is in your basement that requires Jim O’Neil to be lured there? Wait - I don’t want to know. I feel like that would make me an accessory.

RockyMtnBlue: You don’t want him in your basement, HistoryCat. You want him working for Illinois. Think bigger!

MNW: A sign that I know I need to hang it up for the season is how irrationally angry I get when I just read his name.

There’s no point. I’ll repeat what I said last weekend: if he had a shred of dignity, he would quit. But he doesn’t, and he’s getting paid, so fuck me. Maybe put out a sign for free birdseed or something.

WSR: I am so ashamed of the Northwestern people for not know this. It’s so goddamn simple.

Tell him you have a cask of amontillado.

Which of the following is going to be more confusing for fans of USC and UCLA when they join the B1G in 2025: Getting used to officiating that is significantly less shitty than what they’re used to in the PAC-12, or trying to acclimate themselves to the environment here at OTE? - Transient Buckeye

misdreavus79: Wow that’s a good question. I’m going to go with the latter, since Nebraska, Maryland, and Rutgers fans seem to have acclimated pretty well since their joining.

BoilerUp89: Being ranked in the top 5, going into West Lafayette against an underperforming Purdue team, and taking their loss.

RockyMtnBlue: They will melt down over officiating that doesn’t call holding in football and doesn’t call fouls in basketball.

MNW: There are no USC basketball fans, so that’s a moot point. I would imagine acclimatizing to the cold will be fun, and we’ll see some retaliatory peak-sun kickoffs in Los Angeles if the conference lets them get away with it.

I’m excited and curious to see what kind of USC/UCLA engagement we get, if any. Unfortunately since SBNation hollowed out its California coverage [/voltage increased] I mean after the dastardly state of California forced them to [/nipple clamps disengage] I don’t know how much there is just within this network alone.

Plus, I’m sure they can get on board with “fuck Michigan”.

WSR: They’re going to be amazed to discover that we don’t have blatantly incompetent refs in the B1G. We just have bad refs. It’ll be a fun culture shock. I’m so excited for the first time they play a Quadrangle team and don’t get a holding call despite getting ran through for about 400 yards. Look, I know you saw the hand pulling the back of the DE’s shoulder pad so hard that he spun him. And the ref saw it too. But that’s just not holding...for reasons.