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Big Ten Bowl Game Word Association Time!

OK, “rapid reactions” was a bit misleading. But also, try this on for size: I don’t care.

Syndication: USA TODAY Bryon Houlgrave / USA TODAY NETWORK

Some blogs give you hard-hitting deep-dives on all the bowl games—their rankings, their matchups, which coach is most attractive...NOT AT OTE.

...wait, check that, that last one might be in the works at OTE. But never mind that!

We bring you...

Word Association!

Guaranteed Rate Bowl: Wisconsin Badgers (6-6) vs. Oklahoma State Cowboys (7-5)

MNW: Guaranteed I’ll fall asleep midway through the third quarter.

Boilerman: If you’d like an argument there are too many bowl games, this is it.

BRT: A “guaranteed rate” sounds like a charming anachronism in this age of inflation.

misdreavus79: Jesus Oklahoma State finished 7-5?

Dead Read: Okie Lite vs. Minny Lite. They deserve one another.

Jesse: Wouldn’t have guessed what stadium this was in in a million years

Kind of…: I’m a UW fan and will probably be asleep before MNW

Townie: Zzzzz

WSR: This game will get a huge amount of coverage on OANN.

Pinstripe Bowl: Syracuse Orange (7-5) vs. Minnesota Golden Gophers (8-4)

MNW: please let it snow

Boilerman: I’m so glad Purdue won the West and didn’t end up here.

BRT: Both of these teams could be Crayola crayon colors!

misdreavus79: Jesus Syracuse finished 7-5?

Dead Read: Oneida Lake vs. Lake Woebegone. This game will be below average.

Jesse: What’s with baseball stadium bowl games?

Kind of…: I hate Minnesota, but I hate Jim Boeheim more

Townie: I’m a Gopher for that game.

WSR: Not even I can get excited about this stupid game. Everything about it, except Minnesota, is trash.

Duke’s Mayo Bowl: Maryland Terrapins (7-5) vs. #23 NC State Wolfpack (8-4)

MNW: Crab salad can go to hell.

Boilerman: Seems fitting warm mayo is going to be dumped on someone at the end of this old ACC rematch.

BRT: I just love that there is a “mayo-themed” bowl game, but it seems a waste that this doesn’t involve a single Midwestern team, since putting mayo in bowls is kind of our thing.

misdreavus79: Oh look it’s an ACC matchu–wait.

Dead Read: I have no response to this.

Jesse: If forced to choose, I’m guessing a wolfpack could tear up some turtles in combat

Kind of…: Anybody remember Chuck Amato?

Townie: Ooh, Maryland is finally playing for the ACC championship!

Music City Bowl: Iowa Hawkeyes (7-5) vs. Kentucky Wildcats (7-5)

MNW: Appropriate venue for a repeat matchup, as Nashville hasn’t had an original idea in about 20 years.

Boilerman: Complete opposite of last year’s classic.

BRT: Just pictured Brian giving up everything and becoming a country music singer in the Big City, complete with giant belt buckle, causing Kirk endless shame and grief, which is funny, because BF’s coaching performance is what should be causing him endless shame and grief, but it isn’t.

misdreavus79: 9-3 final, winning team gets three safeties and a field goal.

Dead Read: Sugar Bowl in the Superdome, or whatever this is at Nissan Stadium? Those two games are on at the same time. Dozens will watch this epic. Dozens.

Jesse: This might be the only bowl game I watch

Dead Read: Oh, I’ll be one of the dozens. Make no mistake.

Kind of…: Very nice for UK fans nervous about Stoops’ contract extension to be able to look across the field and see the Ferentzi. Wait, did Hayden Fry used to give a secret seminar or something on how to bilk the AD when it came to contracts?

Townie: Rumor has it the Kentucky QB is something special. Iowa will make him pedestrian. And I’m not watching it.

WSR: I feel so bad for the bachelorettes that accidentally watch this.

Artist Formerly Known as the Outback Bowl: #22 Mississippi State Bulldogs (8-4) vs. Illinois Fighting Illini (8-4)

MNW:

Boilerman:

BRT:

misdreavus79:

Dead Read:

Jesse: Honestly, the bloomin’ onion sucks…

MNW: JESSE YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH

BRT: Wow.

Kind of…:

Townie:

(WSR Editorial Note: Everything except Jesse’s blasphemy about the Bloomin’ onion has been struck because of the passing of Coach Leach.)

Citrus Bowl: #17 LSU Tigers (9-4) vs. Purdue Boilermakers (8-5)

MNW: Tough with an interim ceauxch.

Boilerman: Fuck Brian Kelly.

BRT: You know, Purdue, Harboring Brian Kelly could be really fun–please consider doing this.

misdreavus79: LSU is favored by how much?

Dead Read: I want Kelly to lose so badly. Choo choo, please.

Jesse: I dunno… I think Purdue can win this

Kind of…: @brt has the best comment. No, wait, @Dead Read does. Nevermind, @Boilerman does. With a rake.

Townie: CHOO CHOO BITCHES! God I hate Brian Kelly.

BoilerUp89: Hopefully we’ve made a hire by then…

WSR: It would be really funny if a coachless Purdue beat that asshole.

Rose Bowl: #11 Penn State Nittany Lions (10-2) vs. #8 Utah Utes (10-3)

MNW: Low-key excited for this one.

Boilerman: This should be a fantastic matchup. Sorry Penn State fans.

BRT: Utes and Nits - catchy.

misdreavus79: YAY HOOPS!

Dead Read: This will round out the bowl season, and it could be a great one. Utah doesn’t quit.

Jesse: Yeah, honestly, this is probably the most fun B1G-related bowl

Kind of…: Lotta Utah love, but I’m thinking Singleton (and/or Lee) pull a rushing version of the Jaxon Smith-Njigba on the Utes

Townie: We Are and You Are Not.

WSR: Oh man. There’s gonna be a lot of violence. Hang in there PSU.

Fiesta Bowl: #3 TCU Horned Frogs (12-1) vs. #2 Michigan Wolverines (13-0)

MNW: Come on, TCU.

Boilerman: An actual decent national semi-final matchup? Mistakes were made.

BRT: Isn’t it funny that Alabama isn’t in here?

misdreavus79: Somehow Michigan will finish with the No. 55 recruiting class after a second consecutive playoff appearance.

Dead Read: Rootin’ for Duggan.

Jesse: TCU is a good bullshit team and Michigan is a good second half team which makes this fun

Kind of…: TCU had a fun season, but Duggan might get turned into paste in this game.

Townie: Lol, Meteor.

WSR: Send Harbaugh off to the Colts in style, please, Frogs.

Peach Bowl: #4 Ohio State Buckeyes (11-1) vs. #1 Georgia Bulldogs (13-0)

MNW: Hard pass.

Boilerman: One of these teams is tough. Ohio State is not.

BRT: I mean, Godspeed, Buckeyes– but Georgia’s got a stronger resume here than Herschel Walker, and in football, that might actually matter.

misdreavus79: We’re all going to laughcry when it ends up being Michigan/Ohio State for the title.

Dead Read: Makes me want to root for the SEC. Well, almost.

Jesse: Ohio State really hates getting tackled hard and uh, Georgia is going to do that a lot

Kind of…: Fortunately I’ll be drunk or asleep before this one ends. Maybe both.

Townie: RIP Ryan Day. Your moment is over.

WSR: Oh man. Please don’t get hurt Buckeyes.

MNW: Wait, please don’t get hurt? I didn’t agree to this.