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Penn State Football Disrespected By National Media Yet Again, Not Included In Nuclear Target Map

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What’s it going to take for everyone to understand that WE ARE?

NCAA Football: Illinois at Penn State
It wouldn’t be the last time these fans were disappointed
Rich Barnes-USA TODAY Sports

Look, I don’t know if you’ve kept up with current events, but apparently everyone’s worried about nuclear war again. It feels like the 80s, except that people don’t realize that Penn State is a national powerhouse.

But any fear I had of nuclear annihilation quickly faded to anger when I saw this map of potential nuclear strike targets that’s been going around.

Naturally, the Big Ten institutions are among the targets. Columbus, Ann Arbor, even Madison.

But there’s a glaring exception. You see that big wide open spot in the middle of Pennsylvania?

Yep. Despite being a top 25 public university in the country, apparently the NRDC and FEMA either don’t think Penn State is a valuable target or don’t believe that Russia thinks Penn State is a valuable target.

This is outrageous. State College might not be the heart of central Pennsylvania but it’s certainly the brains. I’m sick of this perception that it’s just a football factory. There’s a top-40 engineering school there, which is to say nothing of its cultural importance to every Pennsylvanian! Lansing made the cut and State College didn’t? Clearly this map was made by people who haven’t actually tried both creameries.

Don’t try to tell me it’s because of its remote location. I don’t have to bring up Champaign and West Lafayette to make this point. Lubbock, TX is a target. What, because Michael Crabtree made that catch to beat Texas the one time? Penn State’s had forgettable seasons as good as Texas Tech’s best.

Penn State has more national titles than Ohio State since the Brezhnev years, but I guess they only want to focus on the post-Soviet era. Not that Penn State didn’t deserve a shot in 2005 or anything.

This is just the 2016 College Football Playoff selection fiasco all over again where Ohio State gets in despite not even winning the Big Ten as Penn State is left out in the cold. We are DESERVING OF RESPECT, we are UNRIVALED, we are PENN STATE and we are OUTRAGED that Nebraska’s history gets to matter more than ours in this context even though we’re still great.

Oh well, at least we can play Indiana in the afteryears.