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I’m sure you’re all set to enjoy the rest of the Big Ten Tournament, but we have other business to settle here.
Namely, it’s time to decide the Big Ten Name of the Year.
Only players who logged minutes are eligible. If you checked the open thread last night, you got to see the voting for the 15 and 16 seed. Well, there’s 16 entries left now, so let’s get down to business (to defeat the Huns)
What’s your favorite name? All of these made me giggle at some point during the season.
Match 1: (1) Fatts Russell vs (16) Zed Key
This matchup pits an absolutely marvelous nickname, complete with two T’s for extra weight, against the Canadian version of the ‘Z’ key on your keyboard
Poll
Match 1
This poll is closed
-
78%
(1) Fatts Russell
(123 votes) -
21%
(16) Zed Key
(34 votes)
Match 2: (9) Sam Sessoms vs (8) Wilhelm Breidenbach
The poster child for OTE ASMR, Sam Sessoms and his 5 S’s in a 10 letter name will take on Nebraska’s resident kaizer.
Poll
Match 2
This poll is closed
-
18%
(9) Sam Sessoms
(29 votes) -
81%
(8) Wilhelm Breidenbach
(125 votes)
Match 3: (5) Boo Buie vs (12) Aidan McCool
Northwestern’s lead guard, who was also once Howard Stern’s prank guy, matches up against a Maryland reserve that starred in a direct-to-video reboot of Back to the Future
Poll
Match 3
This poll is closed
-
64%
(5) Boo Buie
(102 votes) -
35%
(12) Aidan McCool
(56 votes)
Match 4: (13) Jamison Battle vs (4) Benjamin Bosmans-Verdonk
It’s almost St. Patrick’s Day, so we’re all about to have a little Jamison Battle of our own. But will we get Verdunked on by the Bossmans?
Poll
Match 4
This poll is closed
-
17%
(13) Jamison Battle
(27 votes) -
82%
(4) Benjamin Bosmans-Verdonk
(129 votes)
Match 5: (3) Justice Sueing vs (14) Carter Higginbottom
The 3 seed’s first and last names are both related to the practice of law. I’ll miss his matchups with Foster Loyer. The 14 seed has the bottom of a Higgin.
Poll
Match 5
This poll is closed
-
47%
(3) Justice Sueing
(78 votes) -
52%
(14) Carter Higginbottom
(86 votes)
Match 6: (11) Jordan Geronimo vs (6) Meechie Johnson, Jr.
A basketball god meets an Apache leader, and both of them meet the second in a line of Meechies Johnson.
Poll
Match 6
This poll is closed
-
57%
(11) Jordan Geronimo
(91 votes) -
42%
(6) Meechie Johnson, Jr.
(66 votes)
Match 7: (7) Qudus Wahab vs (10) Kobe Bufkin
The Maryland forward’s name rolls off the tongue so nicely. Bufkin is what you call your swole family.
Poll
Match 7
This poll is closed
-
66%
(7) Qudus Wahab
(105 votes) -
33%
(10) Kobe Bufkin
(52 votes)
Match 8: (15) Myles Dread vs (2) Kofi Cockburn
The Dread Pirate of State College, fresh off of dispatching Alfonso Plummer, seeks to eliminate his teammate. Will Dread stick around long enough for a cup of Kofi, or will his cock (pronounced “coe”) get burned?
Poll
Match 8
This poll is closed
-
40%
(15) Myles Dread
(64 votes) -
59%
(2) Kofi Cockburn
(94 votes)
Voting will be open until around the time the last BTT game ends tonight*. Share this with anyone who likes whimsical names!
*This was supposed to be published Thursday morning lol