Welcome, dear reader, to a dingy bar with no name that only has an Old Style sign on it on Chicago’s North Side. Northwestern’s offense (and the team in general) was so bad last year that I don’t feel like cracking the usual butler serving wine and cheese jokes.
Feel free to crack the empty seat jokes.
After reading this article and digesting the subject matter, you might be compelled to consume the nectar of the Gods, Jeppeson’s Malört. Trust MNW and I, it’s good stuff. How else do we survive being fans of this team?
I’m LincolnParkWildcat, longtime Northwestern season ticket holder, non alum, and someone who got a hold of a microphone on this fine site. Let’s do this.
Staff
Mike Bajakian returns as offensive coordinator for his third season. What I saw from him was as bad as Gary Barnett’s last team, and also the Mike Dunbar era offenses of the middle Randy Walker era.
Quarterback
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Hunter Johnson went back to Clemson. Hope that works out for you, and at least you got a degree from NU....
Whatever...
So that leaves us with Ryan Hillinski, who threw for 978 yards and just a handful of touchdowns. Yay.
According to commenter phatcat, Brendan Sullivan is pushing Hillinski hard
Hillinksi and Sullivan be backed up by Carl Richardson and a few guys i’ve never heard of before. Hope they’re good, we might need them.
Offensive Line.
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Thank god for Peter Skoronski. Hopefully after another season of weightlifting in the Fitz-Mahal on the lake, our big uglies can do better.
Running Backs
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Cam Porter, Evan Hull, Anthony Tyus and Andrew Clair are coming back. Maybe they’ll get more yardage with better playcalling and blocking?
Wide Receivers
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Malik Washington, Genson Hooper-Price, and Bryce Kirtz are back. Hopefully those three and the rest of the WR room can get some receptions this year if they can actually get the ball passed to them? WHAT A CONCEPT!
Tight Ends
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Charlie Mangieri is still here as a graduate student, along with Marshall Lang and Thomas Gordon. Same thing with the WRs, they need the ball.
In summation
It’s so much more fun to write this in August than in May. I miss going to games, and I look forward to seeing this team in person this fall. I’ll just have to have to take a shot of Malört in order to watch this offense.
Poll
How’s Northwestern’s offense gonna be?
This poll is closed
-
11%
Shitty
-
14%
Putrid
-
8%
Awful
-
9%
Foul
-
9%
Pete Mote
-
19%
Better
-
2%
I’d rather watch Air Willie
-
25%
More Malört please
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