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COLLEGE FOOTBALL: NOV 20 Purdue at Northwestern

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B1G 2022 // Northwestern defense preview

UGHHHHHHHH. This is not what we had in mind last season! Pass the Malört and get the catapult ready.

Yeah, this works, failing to tackle...
| Photo by Robin Alam/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Last year Northwestern welcomed Jim O’Neil as a replacement for longtime DC Mike Hankwitz...

How’d it go?

Former Tampa Bay Buccaneers and University of Spoiled Children coach John McCay basically sums up how I think about last season’s defense in an apocryphal quote that’s stuck in my mind forever....

“What do you think of your team’s execution coach?” To which McKay replied, “I’m in favor of it.”

I have no idea what was going through Fitzy’s head when he hired this guy. They were colleagues during the Randy Walker era? Golf buddies? I miss Hank......

Well, we’re stuck with him this season. Let’s review who’s coming back and hope we’re not too shitty this season.

Defensive Backs

Northwestern v Wisconsin Photo by Patrick McDermott/Getty Images

Brandon Joseph, our All-American DB, decided to transfer to that hive of scum and villainy in South Bend.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN, WHY??????? THAT SCHOOL?!! FUCK!

Poll

Fuck Notre Dame?

This poll is closed

  • 100%
    Get Fucked, ND
    (62 votes)
62 votes total Vote Now

I really hope that Fitzy’s boss really tore him a new one over this. We don’t always get All-Americans on defense, and this really fucking stings....

Ok, picking up the pieces here.

We’ve got Jaheem Joseph, Cameron Mitchell, and Coco Azema returning along with a few other guys.

Linebackers

Northwestern v Wisconsin Photo by Patrick McDermott/Getty Images

We still have some remnants of the Irish Law firm here in Evanston. Bryce Gallagher had 90 tackles! He’ll be joined by Xander Mueller, Troy Hudetz, Khalid Jones, and maybe Owen Bergin, brother of Chris Bergin, will make an appearance.

Defensive Line

NCAA Football: Northwestern at Wisconsin Jeff Hanisch-USA TODAY Sports

Fan favorite Joe Spivak has left the building, along with Samdup Miller and Jeremy Meiser, so the stud of our D-Line will most likely be Adetomiwa Adebawore.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: SEP 11 Indiana State at Northwestern Photo by Daniel Bartel/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

Last season Adebawore had 32 tackles and 4 and a half sacks. We look forward to good production from him this fall.

Adebawore will be joined on the line by Sean McLaughlin and Jason Gold. I’m not exactly confident we’re gonna have anything but a swiss cheese line as people run away from Adebawore.

In summation:

Unless this gets any better, Fitzy and his boss Derrick Gragg should get the catapult ready to get J.O.N out of here.

The Catapult? I took this photo on my honeymoon in Italy back in 2019 at Castel Sant’Angelo in Rome and thought it would be the perfect way to get Mick McCall out of Evanston. It may still be the right way to eject failed position coaches and coordinators from Evanston.

Anyway….

We need a stifling defense! It’s part of our identity, since our offense is anemic without a good passing threat. This shit better change, or else it’s gonna be a long season in mudville.

Poll

How’s the defense gonna be?

This poll is closed

  • 0%
    Hideous
    (0 votes)
  • 18%
    Unspeakably bad
    (12 votes)
  • 16%
    There aren’t enough words in the dictionary, LPW
    (11 votes)
  • 27%
    Maybe betterHAHAHA nope
    (18 votes)
  • 10%
    ::sobs::
    (7 votes)
  • 27%
    Pass the booze
    (18 votes)
66 votes total Vote Now