The Indiana Hoosiers (3-0) are undefeated and play the University of Cincinnati this weekend.

Look at it. Isn’t it glorious?

Indiana, yes that Indiana, is undefeated. 3-0. Haven’t lost. Dear Lord it’s not from a lack of trying though.

Indiana comes out against Illinois and looks like garbage until late. Pulls off a miraculous win. Indiana comes out against Idaho and looks like complete dogshit until the second half and even most of the second half. Pulls out a double digit win. Indiana plays not that great against Western Kentucky and gets carved up by the Hilltoppers. Forced overtime and wins despite a net negative overtime possession.

Do you see the pattern? Indiana is not a very good football team. That or they simply haven’t played up to their potential.

The problem this week is that this isn’t a Mid-Major opponent, a bottom half B1G opponent, or an FCS opponent. This week, Indiana gets a team that if they come out flat against will chop them in half in a heartbeat. Even playing their best game, I don’t know if Indiana is capable of winning this but even putting a scare into UC would do wonders for this season’s redemption tour.

Let’s see what we’re looking at this week.

History

• Yes folks, Indiana does hold the lead in this series at 9-4-2.
• Last year, Indiana pissed away a halftime lead and a late 4^th quarter drive that could have upset the eventual CFP Bearcats. The score was 38-24.
• We won’t mention targeting in this article Those offenders will be sent to the gulag.

Fun Facts

• UC IS A P5 SCHOOL NOW! CONGRATS! (RECYLCED FUN FACT)
• Benadryl was invented at UC. (RECYLCED FUN FACT)
• UC has more NCAA basketball championships than Ohio State. Suck it. (RECYLCED FUN FACT)
• The UC campus is statistically safer than Compton. (RECYLCED FUN FACT)
• The UC campus is .6 miles away from the Cincinnati Zoo. The Cincinnati Zoo is where our sweet prince Harambe was killed. RIP big guy. (RECYLCED FUN FACT)

What I’m Watching For

1) Can Indiana hold serve through the first half?

This is perhaps the biggest question mark. Indiana has shown a lot of guts in the second half of each of their games. Unfortunately, their guts get ripped out in the first half. If that happens this week, it’ll be every bit of the 22-point spread they’re getting in a lot of sports books. And if they get down double digits this week, forget about coming back. Just keep drinking. That’s what I’ll be watching for.

2) Can the Offensive Line give the Hoosiers a fighting chance?

I think it’s best to abandon hope the offensive line ever becomes good or even average. We need to shoot for operational. There were plenty of times against WKU and Illinois that the line managed to stay between all incoming defenders and Connor Bazelak which gave him time to throw. Any hope of getting this team to gain 50+ yards on the ground consistently is foolish. Just keep chucking around, keep the blitzers at bay, and let’s see if the Hoosiers can hang around. Can the offensive line do that? I’ll be watching.

3) For the love of all things Nick Sheridan, can you throw the f***ing ball down the field and quit obviously running on 2^nd and long?

That bullet could have been “Can Walt Bell get creative enough to bring the offense to life,” but I don’t think that sums up my distaste for the job he did on Saturday. While he’s been an instant improvement over Sheridan, he still has galaxy brain ideas that simply do not work. He also hasn’t allowed Bazelak to uncork the cannon very often though to be fair, that could be on the receivers for not getting open down field or the o-line for not giving enough time. What gets me is the airheaded, monumentally stupid play calls on 2^nd and 9 where we run RIGHT UP THE FUCKING MIDDLE FOR NO GAIN and then have a 3^rd and long. Spoiler alert, Indiana ain’t running all over Cincinnati. It’s not happening even if you have <insert age appropriate NFL legendary running back here>. So will Sheridan-lite Walt Bell decide to uncork the cannon more? I’ll be watching for that.

Oh No! We Suck Again!

I will be in attendance at the lovely Nippert Stadium this weekend. I plan on wearing my Indiana shirt and Indiana hat at my first Indiana Hoosier away game. Seriously, never been to a college football game not in Bloomington. Send tickets to my PO Box if you’re willing to donate some to underprivileged football fans.

I’m under no disillusions that Indiana will win. I asked my Magic 8 ball if the Hoosiers would upset the Bearcats and it replied “hahahahahahahahahahaha.” My only ask is for this to not be a Waterboy-esk, WE SUCK AGAIN meme. I hate moral victories but this team has 4 more winnable games on the schedule in Nebraska, Maryland, Rutgers, and Purdue and to be honest Michigan State’s defense looks suspect. I wouldn’t bet they win any combination of those games, but the outcomes in this game could directly affect the team’s attitude or even provide an unwanted injury that could jeopardize competing in those games. Can Indiana hang around? I don’t know. At least it’s not supposed to rain on Saturday.

Game Time 9/24 – 3:30 PM EST – ESPN2