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Military, Mayo, Holiday, and Texas Bowl Games: Time, TV, How to Watch, Open Thread

Why isn’t THIS GUY the Military Bowl spokesman?

https://www.leighbureau.com/speakers/rputnam

It is time to talk about college football even though no Big Ten teams play today.

Virginia Tech Hokies vs. Tulane Green Wave

Military Bowl presented by GoBowling.com:

Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium (Annapolis, MD)

1pm | ESPN | VaTech -10.5 | O/U 43.5

Michael Pratt skipping this game and Willie Fritz taking the Houston job sure swung this line in a hurry, huh?

More importantly, we need to talk about how GoBowling.com is the sponsor for this game despite basically just being a website designed to help you find a bowling alley? Like...it’s not even an industrial park masquerading as a suburb of Chicago trying to attract business to itself—it’s literally just a website that claims bowling is the “original social network” and tries to hook you up with an alley nearby!

Eat your heart out, Robert Putnam.

In fact, I want him to be the honorary captain for this game—I don’t care if it’s the Military Bowl, if it’s going to be sponsored by GoBowling.com then the world’s foremost bowling expert should be the one to welcome you all to gray-skied Annapolis!

Poll

Can you SPARE a vote in this poll ha ha ha ha ha

This poll is closed

  • 50%
    hokie
    (6 votes)
  • 50%
    angrywave
    (6 votes)
12 votes total Vote Now

North Carolina Tar Heels vs. West Virginia Mountaineers

Duke’s Egg Jizz Bowl: Bank of America Stadium (Charlotte, NC)
4:30pm | ESPN | WVU -6 | O/U 60.5

I have very little to say here other than that these feel like two perfect teams to play in the Egg Jizz Bowl. Sure the textile mills are closing and the coal mine is dangerous and run by a 400-pound plutocrat who’s also your governor, but you got that SIZZLY little tang in a creamy white substance you eat straight out of the jar.

Drake Maye is not playing for the Heels to prepare for the NFL Draft, while the Mountaineers’ leading rusher, CJ Donaldson will miss due to injury. I’m sure this will be fun! After all, an account that watches—gasp—ACC Football—and declares itself to be into just disgusting college football will gleefully retweet a mayonnaise mixture being dumped over a middle-aged man likely wearing some kind of protective gear.

Hooray.

Poll

Pick your body part:

This poll is closed

  • 54%
    Heels
    (13 votes)
  • 45%
    ‘Eers
    (11 votes)
24 votes total Vote Now

#15 Lhvl Cardinals vs. USC Trojans

Holiday Bowl: Petco Park (San Diego, CA)
7pm | FOX | Lhvl -6 | O/U 58.5

Regarding USC, please never forget the greatest website in the history of college football:

Four and a half years ago, I graded AP US History exams in Louisville. It was a dull but straightfoward experience of watching high school teachers go out with their little cliques of folks, meeting a dude from Bemidji State who awkwardly stared at me through an entire conversation at a Panera and later straight-up rejected me for a job, and walking myself to breweries and distilleries after grading was done for the day at 5pm.

After one night of going out and drinking/working on my dissertation, though, I lost a flash drive that had about 2 years’ worth of research notes on it. Poof. Gone. Not backed up. The hotel, the breweries...no one ever copped to having it.

So if someone at Falls City Brewery picked up a little black flashdrive with some notes on it about Walter Mondale or Bill Janklow, please gimme a shout.

Poll

Holiday Bowl?

This poll is closed

  • 50%
    Lhvl
    (28 votes)
  • 49%
    usc
    (27 votes)
55 votes total Vote Now

Texas A&M Aggies vs. #20 Oklahoma State Cowboys

Texas Bowl: NRG Stadium (Houston, TX)
8pm | ESPN | OKSt -3 | O/U 54.5

This, for the Aggies, seems...uh...

Well, taking the Iowa approach to your offense in a bowl game is sure a choice.

That said...uh...are we taking Oklahoma State here? I have no idea what to make of the ‘Pokes in Year 18 of the Mike Gundy Experience—a 9-4 (7-2) regular season with a Bedlam win isn’t too shabby, but the pasting at the hands of Texas in the Big XII Championship left a sour taste in my mouth and the bizarre non-conference of struggling with Central Arkansas and Arizona State before losing by 26 at home to South Alabama...well, that was sure a choice. As was losing 45-3 at UCF after climbing to #15 in the country.

Former Texas Tech QB Alan Bowman has just kinda...been...for the Cowboys, and they don’t have much of a running game to speak of. Maybe I should be looking past that and just taking the over and the cover here with a bad Texas A&M team, but this smells like a disgusting dick-tripping strugglefest in the Artist Formerly Known as Reliant.

Poll

Pick’em:

This poll is closed

  • 21%
    Ag
    (7 votes)
  • 78%
    Poke
    (26 votes)
33 votes total Vote Now

Other Sports on Today:

College Basketball

  • Bethesda University at Grand Canyon [2pm, no TV]: This wasn’t listed on ESPN as of yesterday—turns out that seven days ago, GCU announced it would be playing a local whatever university on the Luke Air Force Base in Glendale, playing in a gym seating 800 people and giving free admission to the local military community. An interesting idea.
  • Morgan State Bears at Virginia Cavaliers (-26.5, O/U 131.5) [6pm, ACCN]: Just seems cruel to poor Morgan State to rouse them from Christmas so soon to go play horrible basketball against bad people.
  • Chicago State Cougars at Cal Baptist Lancers (-10.5, O/U 134.5) [9pm, ESPN+]: Ditto for Chicago State, who has it even worse by shipping across the country—despite not being in the WAC with Cal Baptist anymore—to play a rough post-Christmas roadie. (But I can’t wait to watch this at halftime of the Texas Bowl...)

Soccer

English Premier League

  • Brentford vs. Wolverhampton Wanderers [1:30pm, Peacock]
  • Chelsea vs. Crystal Palace [1:30pm, Peacock]
  • Everton vs. Manchester City [2:15pm, USA]

Belgium Pro League

  • Anderlecht vs. Cercle Brugge [1:45pm, ESPN+]

Scottish Premiership

  • Hibernian vs. Hearts [2pm, Paramount+]

NBA Basketball

NHL Hockey

  • Boston Bruins (-145) at Buffalo Sabres [6:30pm, TNT]
  • Lots of games on ESPN+ with NHL Power Play

Lots to talk about today, and RUReady4Brazil has gotten us all in the mood for some sexy-hot Pinstripe Bowl action with his great preview of Rutgers-Miami. Check that out, and come back here at 1pm to start talking all sorts of college and pro sports on what is, here in northwestern Wisconsin, FINALLY a snowy December day.