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“Sunday Morning Coming Down”, Stand-In Style

Because who wants to talk about it? Not me.

NCAA Football: Illinois at Iowa Jeffrey Becker-USA TODAY Sports

Good morning.

Ten B1G Things

  1. No sense belaboring it: it was exactly what we thought it’d be.
  2. I’m not sure whether to gulp following the Pac-12 Championship Game or to laugh, thinking “they have no idea what they’re getting into.”
  3. You’re gonna have to learn how to tackle, Oregon and Washington.
  4. Most upsetting about Tulane’s loss in the AAC championship is who it’s going to elevate as the G5 nominee. Rank the Cocaineponies, you cowards.
  5. Congratulations to Miami-Ohio for winning MACtion and joining the Illinois Fighting Illini as the only team to beat Toledo in 2023.
  6. It’s impressive that the SEC managed to have the fourth-, fifth-, and sixth-best teams in the country. Congratulations to Texas, Alabama, and Georgia, respectively, for giving the committee a lot to think about.
  7. They can’t keep letting Boise State get away with this!
  8. You can take Jeff Brohm out of the Big Ten West, but you can’t take the Big Ten West out of Jeff Brohm.
  9. I hope Paul Finebaum chokes on a boiled peanut while screaming “THE FOUR BEST TEAMS”
  10. While the elitist good ol’ boys of the SEC refused to serve beer to the general public at their championship game...

11. ...the Troy Trojans remain men of the people:

12. Not quite that bar in Cedar Rapids, though. Always a good reminder to top off that liability insurance.

13. Two crazy FCS finishes you missed yesterday: NDSU blocked a PAT to beat Montana State in overtime, and Idaho tipping a field goal to force an extra frame, where they won with an INT and walk-off FG.

14. Seriously, it was 26-0. They are who we thought they were. Move on.

B1G Championship Game // Michigan 26, Iowa Pointless

Brian went out with the tantrum of an angry, mediocre failson, and America’s Martyrdom Complex reigns again. Hooray.

stewmonkey13: Iowa was never winning this game. Iowa just plain isn’t good enough. Turns out eschewing one side of the game, completely, isn’t conducive to winning against great teams.

Just want to point out that Michigan can get all the way fucked. Michigan vs everyone?!? Fuck you. Maybe don’t cheat. Play gets blown dead? Fuck it, just give the ball to Michigan. Michigan fumbles? No, you see that time the play was blown dead, and it’s different, because Michigan has the ball now. Don’t you see? Happened twice? Whatever, still Michigan’s ball. 3 times, though? Fuck you, Michigan.

Fuck Michigan.

Am I bitter?

Yes! Of fucking course I’m bitter.

Iowa’s defense giving their all, being the best unit on the field.

The Iowa offense shitting down its leg, looking dumbfounded that the shit that hasn’t worked in 20 years failed to work again today.

And then Michigan just getting handed unnecessary extra chances and withholding more punts from Tory Taylor.

You’re goddamn right I’m bitter.

thumpasaurus: Michigan Vs Everyone is the biggest load of horseshit I’ve ever heard in my life.

Dan Reese: Three in a row. Four years ago I couldn’t Imagine winning one. And this was the final three real seasons of college football.

We’re not going to win a natty. We probably won’t win the first playoff game. It’s a bowl game. That’s not what we do around here. But this is pretty sweet. I’m an old man and still value the Big10 title over anything else. Three straight and 45 total.

Brian Gillis: What more is there to say? What more is there to prove? Big Ten Champs. Three years running.

Actually, there is more to say. I’d like to give a quick shout out to the quarterback of the year in the Big Ten, J.J. McCarthy. After three months of SCMD telling its readers how significantly better Ohio State’s Kyle McCord and Penn State’s Drew Allar are than McCarthy, I’d like to pay tribute to the first-team all-conference quarterback (as voted by both coaches and media) who finished the season with 2,630 yards and 19 touchdowns against only four interceptions - while leading his team to the Big Ten championship (again).

misdreavus79: Your rivals did it four times in a row.

Go talk about bowl games or something.