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Oops, sorry, forgot this was a college football blog.
In the interest of Very Serious Sports Content, if you would like to see how your young men Look In Shorts (copyright pat fitzgerald), did you know teams in the Big Ten play SPRING football games?!
It’s true!
Only slightly less serious than the XFL or USFL or Fan Football League or The Masters, Big Ten spring football is a rite of passage in which sports journalists who spend the rest of their time telling you This Doesn’t Matter temporarily remember they need to Get Clicks irrationally lose their minds and tweet incessantly that JJ McDougal is going to be a Heisman-winning quarterback for Michigan or that Don Brown’s defense looks Stout As Ever.
Both of those may or may not be takeaways from last week’s Michigan Wolverines spring game, which we at Off Tackle Empire definitely care about covering.
Since you are telling asking, Corporate fair reader of this web log, for MORE red-hot Big Ten football content that definitely vaults this website to the Top of the Pops, here is the full Big Ten Spring Game schedule, which you definitely couldn’t google and get from CBS Sports or ESPN or places that actually commit real money and budgets to newspeople:
2023 Big Ten Football Spring Game TV Schedule, Chronologically
2023 Big Ten Football Spring Games TV Schedule
Team | Day | Date | Time (CT) | TV |
---|---|---|---|---|
Team | Day | Date | Time (CT) | TV |
Michigan | Saturday | April 1 | 2:00 PM | BTN |
Indiana | Saturday | April 15 | 11:00 AM | BTN |
Ohio State | Saturday | April 15 | 11:00 AM | BTN |
Michigan State | Saturday | April 15 | 1:00 PM | BTN |
Penn State | Saturday | April 15 | 1:00 PM | BTN |
Illinois | Thursday | April 20 | 7:30 PM | BTN |
Minnesota | Saturday | April 22 | 11:00 AM | BTN |
Nebraska | Saturday | April 22 | 1:00 PM | BTN |
wisconsin | Saturday | April 22 | 1:00 PM | BTN |
Iowa | Saturday | April 22 | TBA | BTN |
Northwestern | Saturday | April 22 | TBA | BTN |
Purdue | Saturday | April 22 | TBA | BTN |
Maryland | Saturday | April 29 | 11:00 AM | BTN |
Rutgers | Saturday | April 29 | 2:00 PM | BTN |
Would you like to read those alphabetically so I can include all the teams’ links here for SEO purposes? SURE YOU WOULD!
2023 Big Ten Football Spring Game TV Schedule, Alphabetically
Illinois Fighting Illini
- Date: April 20 (a Thursday?!?!?!)
- Time: 7:30pm
- TV: BTN
- What to Watch for: Thump’s outraged reaction to something the Illinois fanbase says and or does in the aftermath of this performative nonsense
Indiana Hoosiers
- Date: April 15
- Time: 11am
- TV: BTN
- What to Watch for: Whether Tom Allen’s sunglasses have become permanently fused to his face
Iowa Hawkeyes
- Date: April 22
- Time: fuck you, only Kirk Ferentz need to know what time this is at
- TV: BTN
- What to Watch for: does breaking 25 points in its spring game count toward Iowa’s season-long points average? Asking for a Brian Ferentz.
Maryland Terrapins
- Date: April 29
- Time: 11am
- TV: BTN
- What to Watch for: I dunno. Proof that Maryland football exists.
Michigan Wolverines
- Date: April 1
- Time: 2pm
- TV: BTN
- What to Watch for: signs that you are living in a time loop
Michigan State Spartans
- Date: April 15
- Time: 1pm
- TV: BTN
- What to Watch for: proof that Mel Tucker can, as one idiot on this site suggested, eat a whole frozen pizza faster than me
Minnesota Gophers
- Date: April 22
- Time: 11am
- TV: BTN
- What to Watch for: the emergence of a playmaker to lead Minnesota back to second in the West
Nebraska Cornhuskers
- Date: April 22
- Time: 1pm
- TV: BTN
- What to Watch for: a calm, rational acceptance of whatever happens at this game while acknowledging that Matt Rhule might need a couple years to rebuild the progra—just kidding, it’s how many plays in an Omaha World-Herald writer has an actual orgasm in the press box
Northwestern Wildcats
- Date: April 22
- Time: lol fuck you, pat fitzgerald will start practice whenever he’s ready
- TV: BTN
- What to Watch for: a calm breeze on the lake, students strolling by the field without a care in the world as to what’s happening on it, maybe a dude getting a handy down in the rocks of the lakefill, who’s to say what goes on there
Ohio State Buckeyes
- Date: April 15
- Time: 11am
- TV: BTN
- What to Watch for: IF THE OFFENSE DOESN’T PUT UP 45 POINTS IT’S TIME TO START ASKING SOME GODDAMN QUESTIONS ABOUT RYAN DAY’S COMMITMENT TO THIS PROGRAM
Penn State Nittany Lions
- Date: April 15
- Time: 1pm
- TV: BTN
- What to Watch for: signs that you may have left a Reese’s egg between the cushions of your couch
Purdue Boilermakers
- Date: April 22
- Time: TBA
- TV: BTN
- What to Watch for: trains, probably
Rutgers Scarlet Knights
- Date: April 29
- Time: 2pm
- TV: BTN
- What to Watch for: whether the program finally answers Zuzu’s letters and paints the entire team blue to fight against a set of Marine-style invaders
Wisconsin Badgers
- Date: April 22
- Time: 1pm
- TV: BTN
- What to Watch for: whether Luke Fickell engages in the two pastimes most common to wisconsin football coaches: (1) the “bounce here and there” tradition and (2) a hilarious weight gain
Feel free to add your questions for Dave, Gerry, Howard, and the whole Big Ten Network crew in the comments, and we’ll put them in the suggestion box at the Chili’s down the road.
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