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Big Ten Football Week 3 Picks, Predictions, Previews: Cupcakes galore?

We’re all just waiting to see who screws it up.

NCAA Football: Northern Illinois at Nebraska Bruce Thorson-USA TODAY Sports

I dunno, RockyMtnBlue, I don’t have a ton interesting to say, and your comment that I should “dazzle them with my humor and bitterness” doesn’t seem like it’ll happen today.

RMB: Suggestion: You might point out that 9 of the 13 games have unanimous winner picks, another is 14-1, and another is 13-2. This week SUCKS for big10 footba—

MNW: The year was 2017, and I was staying at an Airbnb just outside Winnipeg...

About Last Week

*Must have picked 50% of games to date to qualify


  • Thumpasaurus 80% against the spread (ATS) last week? 75% ATS overall? Holy hell, man!
  • HWAHSQB right there with Thump at 23-2 on the year straight up.
  • AlmaOtter, MNWildcat, HWAHSQB, and Jesse Collins for joining Thump at 12-2 straight up last week.

Points and Laughs:

  • BoilerUp89, Dead Read, and Jesse Collins going 3-7 ATS last week. Ouch.
  • That was improvement for Jesse. He’s batting .250 ATS on the year.
  • beezer was all alone in the cellar this week at 9-5 straight up.
  • Anyone who finishes lower than me.

The Picks

(all times CT)

Friday, September 15

Virginia Cavaliers @ Maryland Terrapins

6:00pm | FS1 | Maryland -14.5 | O/U 49

Straight-Up: Maryland 15-0
Against the Spread: Maryland 13-2

13-2 against the spread? The OTE writers room believes in September Maryland.

Thumpasaurus: It’s September and Virginia’s bad.

Larry31: What Thump said. Plus, Virginia has a poor rushing defense. If Virginia compensates by putting 8 in the box, Taulia will make them pay.

BoilerUp89: Taulia cleans up the mistakes from last week and the turtles roll. Can turtles roll?

misdreavus79: Sadly enough, if you subscribe to the Power 5 doctrine, Virginia is a worse team than Charlotte. Maryland 38, Virginia 14

Buffkomodo: Virginia sucks and Maryland sucks a whole lot less. Maryland rolls at home.

HWAHSQB: Thump nailed it.

Kind of...: How empty is the Virginia emotional tank after last week? I don’t know. Should we expect Maryland to play better than last week? Probably. Never mess with a streak. All hail September Maryland!

WSR: Virginia is very not good, but I do want to watch this to see what Anthony Colandrea does for the Hoos.

AlmaOtter: September Maryland covered the spread in 75% of their games last year. Taulia and the Turtles thrash an erstwhile rival while I actively avoid local Northern Virginia bars for fear of both fanbases.

RUReady4Brazil: Glad this was scheduled, but shouldn’t be close.

MaximumSam: There’s no part of me that has faith in Maryland, even in September. Virginia 21, Maryland 20.

RockyMtnBlue: I know it’s cliche, but cliches become cliches for a reason. Trust September Maryland. Maryland 35-14

MNW: What I think the big test here is how Maryland fares against a quasi-real (or at least replacement-level) offense: WSR rightfully notes that Anthony Colandrea is going to be fun to watch. If you’ve enjoyed any sub-6’ QB with “moxie” in the last 10 years, here’s another one for you. The Hoos hit a couple deep shots and I ride that hook on the 14 to a W. Maryland, 35-21.


Do you believe in September Turtles?

This poll is closed

  • 77%
    You bet I do. Maryland rolls.
    (121 votes)
  • 20%
    No. But Virginia sucks so Maryland still wins a close one.
    (32 votes)
  • 1%
    Maryland without the flag helmets is like RMB without MNW to be funny for him. Virginia gets the upset.
    (3 votes)
156 votes total Vote Now

Saturday, September 16

Georgia Southern Eagles @ Wisconsin Badgers

11:00am | BTN | Wisconsin -19 | O/U 64.5

Straight-Up: Wisconsin 15-0
Against the Spread: Georgia Southern 8-7

Thumpasaurus: Georgia Southern doesn’t have the horses unfortunately.

BoilerUp89: Georgia Southern has a passing game that should let them score some points. That’s not going to be enough to win, but I think they can just barely keep it within the spread.

misdreavus79: Georgia Southern, however, is not a better team than Washington State —who, may I remind you, will not be a Power 5 team starting in 2024. Wisconsin 35, Georgia Southern 10

Buffkomodo: Wisconsin rolls in this one.

Kind of...: Clay Helton has Georgia Southern humming on offense, and, while UW will probably tighten things up as the season goes on, the lack of depth in the secondary isn’t that easy of a fix. The will be similar to the Buffalo game, but a touch closer, allowing Georgia Southern to cover.

WSR: Don’t be surprised if something that feels unexpected here happens. Georgia Southern fans are awesome and I want nothing but good things for the folks that brought GATA into my life, but the badgers will probably find a way to get the upset here.

AlmaOtter: I’ve watched far too many Fickell-led Cincinnati Bearcats games to trust him to win by 20 or more.

RUReady4Brazil: Don’t sleep on Georgia Southern, although I do think it will click for Wisconsin soon.

RockyMtnBlue: Look, I know it’s a new coaching staff. I know it’s new systems on offense and defense. But this is wiscy at home against a team with a direction in their name. These games only go one way. Wisconsin 38-7

MNW: I get RMB’s point, but this just isn’t the wisconsin teams of yore. The badgers are still figuring shit out, and their ambiguous-at-best commitment to defense has me wondering if the Eagles won’t stretch this one into the second half. badgers, 31-14.


How do you feel about new-look Wisconsin?

This poll is closed

  • 15%
    They look amazing. Wiscy by many.
    (27 votes)
  • 74%
    Meh. Maybe later, but they aren’t there yet. Wiscy by a few.
    (133 votes)
  • 10%
    They are a black hole of suckitude. Even Georgia Southern will beat them.
    (18 votes)
178 votes total Vote Now

(7) Penn State Nittany Lions @ Illinois Fighting Illini

11:00am | FOX | Penn State -14.5 | O/U 48.5

Straight-Up: Penn State 15-0
Against the Spread: Penn State 10-5

Thumpasaurus: I know what you’re thinking. They’re just gonna blow us away. Well, by all means they should, but between an early kickoff, more to play for for Penn State, a poor performance last week by the Illini, a return home for the Orange and Blue and what I expect will be some changes on the offensive line, Illinois will instead hang within two scores all day and break my heart at the end.

If Illinois wins this game, they’re gonna finish 11-1.

BoilerUp89: Penn State starts to look like a team that can win the East this week.

misdreavus79: Before the season began, this was, by just about any measure, one of the most popular “not Michigan, not Ohio State” losses on the schedule. Part of it was due to people seemingly forgetting Drew Allar was both the No. 1 quarterback in the 2022 class and put in games pretty much all season long last year. Part of it was how good Illinois looked last season. Through the first two games, one team looks better than anticipated, the other looks worse.

Buffkomodo: Penn state wins, but I’m going to go ahead and say Illinois gets a backdoor cover late.

Thumpasaurus: I changed my mind. All week on the Illinois internet I’ve been seeing people going “yknow, call me crazy but...i wouldn’t be surprised if illinois won. in fact, i’m just gonna come out and say it. call it a vibe. call it whatever, but...”

Not even using the logic I used to justify a cover (much-needed adjustments after the OL was exposed, playing up for the first conference game against an overconfident favorite), just saying “idk i got illini win vibes.”

There’s been this collective effort to manifest this win through sheer willpower. That’s not how this works and I’ve now seen enough of it to declare that Penn State is going to blow our fucking doors off.

What happened to you? Did an 8 win season really make you forget how often the team on the wrong side of history wins decisively, especially in 2023, especially in this sport?

I bet Penn State wins by at least 28, but it takes them a while to score and their fans come away from this game pissing and moaning about how they just didn’t look sharp and need to get that fixed.

HWAHSQB: First road game for a young QB and Illinois looked sharp in the second half against KU......just kidding. The Nittany Lions are pissed off about the 9OT embarrassment and take their frustrations out on the hapless Illini. Illinois just manages to B1G west the game up enough that PSU fails to cover though.

Kind of...: Bert’s a good coach, but go ahead and look up his third year at UW (2008). PSU has too many horses.

WSR: Styles make fights and whatnot, but PSU’s offense is terrifying. Bert will do everything in his power to sit on this game and bounce the life out of it, it just won’t be anywhere near enough.

Everything to date makes this look like a blowout, which makes me think chaos will ensue with Illinois losing a close one. Not gonna bet on it, but I wouldn’t be surprised.

AlmaOtter: Penn State has looked better than Michigan and Ohio State so far this season. Meanwhile, Illinois got wrecked by Kansas and needed a miracle 4th and 4 conversion to beat Toledo. While I want to believe that Bert can turn this into a rock fight, this isn’t going to play out like the 9OT game in 2021.

RUReady4Brazil: That 9OT game was insane, this won’t be.

RockyMtnBlue: Like many other writers, I’ll reference the Big10 lore that is the 2021 PSU/Illinois 9OT game. Both of these programs sucked a little in 2021. But if you read this week’s power poll, you know one of these programs emphatically does not suck now. If you haven’t read it, you should go do that. Penn State 35-13

MNW: Man, really? I chose Illinois to cover here?

For the life of me I have no idea why. Wednesday MNW is really an asshole. I guess rules are rules, though: Penn State, 31-17.


The one big10 matchup of the week

This poll is closed

  • 61%
    Penn State is the only blueblood in this conference that looks like a blueblood. PSU by all the points.
    (146 votes)
  • 23%
    Illinois figures some shit out and keeps it close, but it’s not enough for the upset.
    (57 votes)
  • 5%
    Everyone point and laugh at the last-place-in-the-east nits!
    (13 votes)
  • 9%
    It’s going to be ANOTHER nine-overtime affair. PSU will continue to deny they have a rivalry with Illinois.
    (22 votes)
238 votes total Vote Now

Louisville Cardinals @ Indiana Hoosiers

11:00am | BTN | Louisville -10 | O/U 52

Straight-Up: Louisville 14-1
Against the Spread: Indiana 11-4

Through 4 games this brings us up to ONE predicted upset.

Thumpasaurus: I don’t believe in the Hoosiers yet and Louisville has looked like a machine.

BoilerUp89: Based on OTE’s research, no head coach has ever lost to Indiana at three different schools. Brohm doesn’t become the first this weekend, but his defense let’s the Hoosiers hang around.

misdreavus79: We saw how these things played out when Jeff Brohm was at Purdue. Louisville 39, Indiana 13

Buffkomodo: I homered this pick and took Indiana to win and cover. I think at minimum they cover the spread. Jeff Brohm is a good coach but Louisville was also down 16 to Georgia Tech earlier in the year. Indiana has a better defense than Georgia Tech does and I’m comfortable saying that. The question mark is going to be, “can the Hoosiers score enough to win.” I think they get it done...however I won’t be putting actual money on this.

Kind of...: Forgive me for not viewing a detonation of Murray State as sufficient proof the Louisville is unstoppable. Georgia Tech put up almost 500 yards of offense, so Indiana’s deficiencies on that side might not get exposed. Like the cover, will be weighing an outright bet for the Hoosiers late Sat morning.

WSR: Is this the game where everybody proclaims Brohm at Louisville the next big thing?

Larry31: I like Brohm. But I haven’t seen anything that tells me Indiana can’t win this one. I like Indiana at home and already being more battle tested.

AlmaOtter: Jack Plummer is on his third school? I completely missed that he had a Brohm-less gap year in California. Anyways, Indiana’s defense might be decent. Louisville wins, Indiana keeps it close.

RUReady4Brazil: Indiana is not as bad as people think. Maybe as the season goes on, depth issues will be a factor but this could be a dogfight.

RockyMtnBlue: Indinia is in full Tom Allen mode. The defense is better than you’d think it could possibly be, but the offense is objectively awful. I’ve got Louisville covering, but that’s a wild guess. Take the under. That’s advice. Louisville 20-9

MNW: If Indiana does not cover this, I want every one of you Hoosier bobos clamoring in our comment sections for respect after the Ohio State game to show up in the SMCD comments and admit you were wrong. I took your word for it. [/stuffs socks in mouth] Lhvl, tnntyeht-tnnty.


Red on red violence

This poll is closed

  • 42%
    Louisville wins and covers. Brohm > Allen
    (69 votes)
  • 38%
    Louisville wins. Indiana covers. Brohm == Allen
    (63 votes)
  • 19%
    Indinia uses winnings to buy new jerseys. Allen > Brohm
    (31 votes)
163 votes total Vote Now

Minnesota Golden Gophers @ (20) North Carolina Tar Heels

2:30pm | ESPN | North Carolina -7.5 | O/U 50

Straight-Up: North Carolina 13-2
Against the Spread: Minnesota 8-7

Thumpasaurus: UNC has the better quarterback by miles. I think we’ll see a blueprint for cracking this defense.

BoilerUp89: UNC gave up a million yards on the ground to App State, but they also held South Carolina to -2 yards on 31 carries. I don’t think the UNC defense is quite as terrible as Gophers fans are making it out to be, and I definitely don’t believe in Minnesota’s offense.

misdreavus79: I think this will be your shocker of the week. North Carolina can and should win running away, especially at home, but they simply won’t have the possession to do so. Minnesota will use the new clock rules to perfection, in a game reminiscent of that one time Navy held Notre Dame to one possession in the second half. Minnesota 24, North Carolina 20

Buffkomodo: Minnesota is not App State. Therefore UNC rolls similarly to how they would in basketball.

Kind of...: Would pick Minnesota outright except it’s Minnesota and I don’t want to taste vomit. But, yeah, love the cover. Mack Brown’s natty would be a senior in high school this year, and I fully expect the Gophers to have a far better game plan.

WSR: Darius Taylor got 1 carry for 3 yards against Nebraska in spite of the run game just being atrocious partially due to Nebraska’s defense being salty and partially due to us feeling things out and also partially due to PJ being nervous about freshman RB because they need to learn to pass block better. He then got 193 yards and a TD (should have been 2) on 33 carries against Eastern Michigan, and also had a few incredible pickup blocks in the passing game. Is that going to be enough to beat UNC?

Sure. Let’s go full Homersota and enjoy the fact that the offense has plenty of weapons, Carolina is the worst defense we’ve seen all year, and I’m excited to see what Rossi has cooked up for dealing with Drake Maye. Giddyup.

Larry31: I dunno. So far, I have not been impressed by the Gophers. But, an ACC school getting lots of pre-season hype and getting ranked early? Sounds familiar. Does UNC get exposed like Miami last year?

AlmaOtter: I feel like UNC is getting way too much hype, but I don’t know what to take from the Minnesota-Nebraska game except that Nebraska remains cursed. UNC’s at home, that might be enough to win by more than a score.

RUReady4Brazil: The Cocks couldn’t block at all against UNC and I don’t think the Gopher line is what it has been the last few years but their defense will keep it close.

RockyMtnBlue: I like the Gopher D. I’m not crazy about the O, but I think Kodiacmaniac keeps it close enough for a backdoor cover. North Carolina 24-17

MNW: See my comments for Lhvl-IU above, but about Joe Rossi and Athan Papadapoulous. Anyway, I look forward to seeing Future Viking QB* Drake Maye. North Carolina, 31-24.
* CC to Vikings: taaaaaaaank. taaaaaaaank. it’s over. taaaaaank.


Tar Heels vs Golden Gophers. Have there ever been two more "only in college" nicknames?

This poll is closed

  • 33%
    UNC by lots
    (69 votes)
  • 27%
    UNC by little
    (57 votes)
  • 39%
    Peej gets a road upset!
    (82 votes)
208 votes total Vote Now

Northwestern Wildcats @ (21) Duke Blue Devils

2:30pm | ACCN | Duke -18.5 | O/U 48.5

Straight-Up: Duke 15-0
Against the Spread: Duke 12-3

So 3/15 writers expect NW to stay within 19 of Duke? Ouchie.

Thumpasaurus: In any normal year, I’d say Duke beats the ever-loving shit out of Northwestern. Of all the years for that narrative to finally end, this year is by far the least likely.

BoilerUp89: Duke by a million

misdreavus79: As hilarious as “Northwestern is better than Clemson” would be, if it were to happen, there’s no way Northwestern wins this game. Duke 31, Northwestern 13

Buffkomodo: Well, I hope Northwestern liked their only win of the year. Duke rolls.

Kind of...: This might be the biggest QB mismatch of the week in B1G play. And Duke is actually a well-rounded team to boot. If Northwestern makes this a game, David Braun’s phone will be ringing off the hook. They won’t. And Mike Elko’s will, soon enough.

WSR: For the good of the people, all participants and fans at this game should be rounded up and sent to a gulag. It doesn’t matter if it’s before or after Duke wins by about 4 TD.

Larry31: Mack Brown, like Texas, gets a lot of early-season hype that is not deserved. Duke, on the other hand, and unlike in basketball, does not get the benefit of the doubt by AP voters. I will no doubt be rooting for the Cats, but I don’t see Duke losing this one.

AlmaOtter: I have no logic or analysis to base this on, but for some reason, I think Northwestern doesn’t get completely blown out here. And hey, that’s not nothing for the ‘Cats this season.

RUReady4Brazil: Like I wrote with Indiana, Northwestern is better than people think. Unfortunately, Duke might be legit good.

RockyMtnBlue: RUR4B would have us believe NW is better at footballing than people think. To that, I can only respond “Sure. But so is yeast.” Duke 31-7

MNW: Mr. Komodo, Northwestern still has Howard on the schedule. The dream of 2-10 is STILL ALIVE.

The part of this game that’s going to be really disheartening: when Duke’s running backs aren’t finding holes in the Northwestern defensive line, Riley Leonard is going to pick up first downs with his legs. The future Minnesota Vikings quarterback* makes a few big plays and the Blue Devils ease right on by. See you all for this bullshit next year. Duke, 28-7.
* A Kirk Cousins-led team is too proud to tank on the way to 7-10.


Nerd bowl

This poll is closed

  • 67%
    Duke covers 18.5. Northwestern, what is you doing, baby?
    (115 votes)
  • 25%
    The kittens are game, but Duke wins anyway because they’re playing Northwestern and of course they do.
    (44 votes)
  • 7%
    Northwestern’s got this. Also, I’ve never paid attention to this rivalry before.
    (12 votes)
171 votes total Vote Now

Virginia Tech Hokies @ Rutgers Scarlet Knights

2:30pm | BTN | Rutgers -6.5 | O/U 39.5

Straight-Up: Rutgers 11-4
Against the Spread: Rutgers 8-7

Thumpasaurus: It would make me mad if Virginia Tech lost because Purdue is good, so Purdue is good and VT wins going away.

BoilerUp89: VTech isn’t great. Purdue handled them outside of the all important scoreboard. This game is a toss-up, but I’ll take the Hokies who’ve played a team with a pulse already.

misdreavus79: I want to pick Rutgers to win. I want to believe this is the year (that they make a bowl game by winning six games). But Brent Pry is at Virginia Tech. Virginia Tech 20, Rutgers 17

Buffkomodo: Guys, after this game, the mighty ‘Gers is halfway to bowl eligibility. Rutgers wins and covers. Take a spread up to 10 if you can.

Kind of...: Greg Schiano is undefeated in (regular season) non-conference games in his second go ‘round. It’s like September Maryland, but less fun. Rutgers going to just grind down VT.

WSR: Rutgers will win and should cover, but do not watch VT-Rutgers if you are pregnant or may become pregnant. VT-Rutgers is not recommended for children, the elderly, people with a history of respiratory issues, or have a family history of high blood pressure or cancer. Do not operate heavy machinery after watching VT-Rutgers, as it may cause drowsiness.

Larry31: So far, Rutgers has looked respectable. Va Tech has not.

RUReady4Brazil: This game doesn’t make me as nervous as Northwestern now that some tape is out there. Also Virginia Tech might be using their towel boy at wide receiver ... since they may be missing their top 2 WR and their top TE is already list for the year, on a team that cannot run the ball at all yet. Their defense should be the best Rutgers has faced all year, but I just think Rutgers has the edge at home when Tech may still be exhausted after a marathon last week in the elements.

RockyMtnBlue: Have the Hokies prepared? I would feel more confident predicting this game if someone would answer that question for me. Well, not knowing, I’ll just assume they haven’t. The Gers is at home and I think their defense is kinda salty. Sure their offense sucks oversized, Canadian moose testicles, but VT kinda sucks too. Rutgers 17-10

MNW: This will be Rutgers’s first test against an actual P5 defense. I think there’s just a little bit of a hump to get over. It’s not as close as it looks. Rutgers, 21-17.


Wait. Is Rutgers favored against a P5 opponent?

This poll is closed

  • 45%
    Rutgers wins and covers. They’d probably finish top 2 in the west.
    (86 votes)
  • 37%
    It’s close, but Rutgers is 3-0, baby!
    (71 votes)
  • 17%
    Don’t be silly. It’s Rutgers. VaTech will PREPAIR (and win)
    (34 votes)
191 votes total Vote Now

Western Michigan Broncos @ (25) Iowa Hawkeyes

2:30pm | BTN | Iowa - 28.5 | 43

Straight-Up: Iowa 15-0
Against the Spread: Western Michigan 13-2

Thumpasaurus: How the fuck did all you assholes generate such easy non-conference schedules?

BoilerUp89: The secret is to not schedule Toledo. Iowa wins. But the spread is 28.5 which requires the Hawkeyes to score at least 29 points which is above the Ferentz line.

misdreavus79: Vegas, I don’t care how bad Western Michigan is. I’m not picking Iowa to cover a 28.5-point spread. Iowa 24, Western Michigan 3

Larry31: What misdevereaus79 said. I have nothing else to add.

Buffkomodo: Iowa wins but stays below the Ferentz line. The lolz increase.

Kind of...: Fine, I’ll bite. Iowa covers because of TD from the defense and special teams.

WSR: Iowa wins, doesn’t cover, and doesn’t get to 25 points.

AlmaOtter: Unless Iowa has several special teams or defensive TDs, there is no way in hell that they score more than 28.5 pts, let alone cover. Iowa moves to 3-0 and Ferentz moves to 0-3 against the Ferentz Line.

RUReady4Brazil: How can Iowa be favored by more points than anyone thinks they can score?

RockyMtnBlue: I’m with RUR4B on this one. When I saw that line my first question was “How does WMU score negative 8?” Like damned near everyone else I know for a damned fact Iowa’s gonna win this game, but I’ll be shocked if they cover that line. Iowa 24-3

MNW: TWENTY-EIGHT AND A HALF. But I bet this is the week they finally get over the 25-point hump. Iowa, 28-0.


Iowa is favored by more points than they’ve scored in any game this year.

This poll is closed

  • 10%
    Iowa covers. (I’m #2. I like to live dangerously)
    (22 votes)
  • 83%
    Iowa wins because obvi. Iowa fails to cover a 4TD spread because obvi.
    (173 votes)
  • 6%
    Western Michigan gets a huge upset, employing the daring strategy of "don’t let the Iowa defense score"
    (13 votes)
208 votes total Vote Now

Western Kentucky Hilltoppers @ (6) Ohio State Buckeyes

3:00pm | FOX | Ohio State -28 | O/U 64

Straight-Up: Death Star 15-0
Against the Spread: Death Star 8-7

Thumpasaurus: Could be funny, but there’s only room for so much joy in the world and that capacity decreases with every second of every minute of every hour.

BoilerUp89: There is an argument to be made that WKU is the best team tOSU has played so far this season. The Buckeyes didn’t blow out either Youngstown State or Indiana by 28+. I’ll pick the Hilltoppers to beat the spread.

misdreavus79: I would pick Western Kentucky in this one, but they also love to pass the ball, so there won’t be any “taking the air out of the ball” shenanigans happening here. Ohio State 45, Western Kentucky 7

Buffkomodo: This is not your father’s WKU team. Ohio State successfully covers the spread.

Kind of...: This is pure respect for what OSU has been most of the time under Day. Buckeyes have settled on a QB. They cover.

WSR: Just pick a random score that’s got a tOSU win between 35-56 points, with the Buckeyes failing to get a shutout again.

Larry31: This is a dumb game. Especially after playing Youngstown State last week. But, I can’t blame OSU with ND coming up next week.

AlmaOtter: This will be the first game that McCord doesn’t have to awkwardly split posessions with his doppelganger Devin Brown. The Buckeyes offense will look more coherent with that change alone. Expect a classic Ohio State blowout win ahead of Notre Dame.

RUReady4Brazil: Western is a classic spoiler pick against most P5, but this is OSU we are talking about. And even without elite QB play for the first time in what, 15 years? OSU will win comfortably. The question is whether they call off the dogs or try to build confidence prior to their huge matchup next week.

MaximumSam: All eyes on the Buckeye defense, who play a team with a pulse, at least offensively. On the other side, WKU gave up 374 rushing yards to South Florida, so let’s hope OSU can run and play defense like a normal team. OSU 39, WKU 14.

RockyMtnBlue: The buckeyes have been playing with their food. This is a vain attempt to convince us they aren’t really a death star anymore. I’m on to you Senator Palpatine. Ohio State 52-7

MNW: If Western Kentucky hits a few passes early, Ohio State twitter might melt down. And I am all for that kind of stupidity. Buckeyes, 45-21.


I mean, you COULD watch this game. If you’re a sadist.

This poll is closed

  • 55%
    Death Star does what they do. OSU by a billion give or take.
    (89 votes)
  • 40%
    OSU’s been playing with their food all year. The trend continues.
    (64 votes)
  • 4%
    Western Kentucky does what Michigan couldn’t do for most of this century.
    (7 votes)
160 votes total Vote Now

(8)Washington Huskies @ Michigan State Spartans

4:00pm | Peacock | Washington -16 | O/U 57.5

Straight-Up: Washington 15-0
Against the Spread: Washington 9-6

Thumpasaurus: They can rally all they want, it won’t do them any good. They’ll need to score at least 42 to keep up with Penix.

BoilerUp89: Penix for Heisman!

misdreavus79: Washington wins. Washington 49, Michigan State 21

Buffkomodo: Too bad this is streaming on the cock. Washing machine rolls by however much DeBoer and Penix want to win by.

Kind of...: Hmm, the scandal-besieged team that has underachieved since Kenneth Walker left town, or the best team in the Pac-12? Washington, making a statement.

WSR: Most gratuitous slaughter of Spartans coming up since 480 BC coming up.

Larry31: Noah Kim and Nathan Carter have looked really good. However, their performances have been against light competition. I am very interested to see how they do against significantly tougher competition, especially with Maryland playing MSU next week.

RockyMtnBlue: I’ll watch this game in hopes of seeing the biggest Spartan massacre since Thermopylae. But I’ll probably be disappointed by an irritatingly competent MSU squad who’s just out to ruin my good time. Washington 38-28

MNW: There are one of two ways this game can go—the Spartans rally around some “‘Cats against the World” bullshit and make a game of it, or they get punched in the mouth once and say “Fuck it.”

Penix is good enough that I think the former is much more likely. Puppies, 35-21.


A future conference matchup (and if that doesn’t feel weird, I don’t want to know you)

This poll is closed

  • 70%
    Fully weaponized Penix vs the MSU secondary. SO MUCH BLOOD
    (123 votes)
  • 22%
    Sparty’s better than you think and this is a close game, but an upset is just asking too much.
    (40 votes)
  • 6%
    MSU wins one for their embattled head coach. The rest of the country says "um, why?"
    (11 votes)
174 votes total Vote Now

Northern Illinois Huskies @ Nebraska Cornhuskers

4:00pm | FS1 | Nebraska -11 | O/U 43

Straight-Up: Nebraska 15-0
Against the Spread: Nebraska 8-7

Thumpasaurus: We’re a long way from Jordan Lynch’s heyday. The once-proud Huskies have crumbled into an absolute joke that got dominated by Southern Illinois last week. What kind of FBS team from Illinois lets that happen in the 2020’s?

MNW: Hey, wai— Huskers, 27-17.

BoilerUp89: NIU is bad. Rhule picks himself off the mat this week. Since Nebraska isn’t allowed to win close games, they also cover.

misdreavus79: Northern Illinois beat Boston College on the road, came back to lose to Southern Illinois at home, and now get to face a team that is allergic to keeping the ball to themselves. What could go wrong? Nebraska 27, Northern Illinois 7

Buffkomodo: Nebraska is too good for NIU this year. Nebraska covers.

Kind of...: Nebraska hung with Colorado for a while. The improvement is coming in increments, but it’s there. Huskers with the cover.

WSR: Congratulations on getting Matt Rhule’s first win! Between this and having Louisiana Tech next week, we’re in a golden age for Nebraska football that won’t be repeated until...**pops open** ummmm...Oh God. What the hell are you doing with your non-conference schedule?!

Larry31: C’mon Matt Rhule. I believe. But, then again, I also believe


Is this article done yet? no? Dammit!

This poll is closed

  • 43%
    Huskers roll the Huskies.
    (72 votes)
  • 35%
    jNebby really TRIES to do their last-minute loss thing, but they accidentally pull out the close win.
    (59 votes)
  • 20%
    NIU by one score. Seriously? AGAIN?!? The rest of us move from hilarity to just plain awe at this point.
    (34 votes)
165 votes total Vote Now

in Frank Solich’s voodoo curse. Don’t mess this up, Huskers.

BRT: Pros: Might be one of our only wins of the season! Cons: It’s actually conceivable that we f*ck this up and lose to NIU? Good lord, why am I still following this sport?

RockyMtnBlue: Nebraska’s defense looks legit through two games. Nobody saw this coming. Their QB is a turnover machine that would make 2008 Rich Rodriguez blush, but you can do a lot with a good defense. Nebraska 24-10

Bowling Green Falcons @ (2) Michigan Wolverines

6:30pm | BTN | Michigan -39.5 | O/U 53.5

Straight-Up: Michigan 15-0
Against the Spread: Bowling Green 11-4

Thumpasaurus: so fucking sick of this michigan program man, it’s so easy to picture an alternate universe where they totally lose all their juice because sydney brown housed one for 6 last year on michigan’s game-winning drive.

nope, instead we have to live in this world, which by the way is on fire.

BoilerUp89: Wolverines maul falcons.

misdreavus79: “You know what would be awesome? If we make the line bigger against the best team in Michigan’s non-conference, especially since they didn’t cover the previous two, smaller lines, against worse teams. That’ll get everyone to bet on Michigan!” ~Vegas. Michigan 42, Bowling Green 10

Buffkomodo: CONNOR BAZELAK STRIKES AGAIN BEATING THIS MASSIVE SPREAD. Michigan wins but doesn’t cover.

Kind of...: Last week of Harbz’s suspension, which means last week for my totally plausible theory that Michigan acting coaches are under orders not to cover in any of these games.

WSR: You know, you really should be careful scheduling Bowling Green. You never know what might happen there.

Larry31: Whatever.

RockyMtnBlue: How the hell is this spread almost 40? (it’s actually over now). Has nobody been watching Michigan? The offense is pretty efficient, but in no hurry so there aren’t a lot of possessions in games. Plus once the backups come in in the 4th quarter it all goes to hell in a speedboat. Michigan 42-7

MNW: Just can’t cover 40. Michigan, 42-3.


Oh FFS, how many games are there this weekend?!?

This poll is closed

  • 19%
    Michigan covers. Someone tell RMB to quit bitching.
    (34 votes)
  • 47%
    Michigan wins, Bowling Green covers. Someone tell RMB to quit bitching.
    (83 votes)
  • 4%
    2007 App State is no longer the biggest upset in college football history! (also I’d like someone to tell RMB to quit bitching)
    (8 votes)
  • 27%
    I give precisely zero fucks about this game, but I do want someone to tell RMB to quit bitching.
    (48 votes)
173 votes total Vote Now

Syracuse Orange @ Purdue Boilermakers

6:30pm | NBC | Syracuse -2.5 | O/U 58.5

Straight-Up: Purdue 11-4
Against the Spread: Purdue 11-4

Thumpasaurus: I would like to see Purdue get ripped apart at home by orange and blue teams this year, but I’d like a lot of things out of this year that I’m still waiting on.

BoilerUp89: Really don’t know what to make of this one. Purdue appears to be an okay, but flawed team. Syracuse has played nobody (and I mean nobody) so its hard to get a read on them. Between the revenge factor from last year and the fact that Purdue has already played two teams with a pulse compared to Syracuse’s none, I like Purdue to win a close one. But nothing would surprise me.

misdreavus79: If the Purdue that showed up at Virginia Tech shows up to this game, they’ll win running away. If the Purdue from last year shows up, well, we saw the Fresno State game.

Buffkomodo: Another game on ‘The Cock.’ Neat. Originally I took Syracuse out of spite, but I’ll admit that Purdue offense is good at home under the lights. Give me Purdue to win and cover.

Kind of...: Syracuse has outscored their opponents 113-7 and is only favored by 2.5. If it’s that close, I’ll take Purdue, at home, at night.

WSR: Are we really supposed to believe in Purdue? Why? I’ll believe whatever the narrative is after reading a recap, since I’m not springing for Peacock right now.

Larry31: C’mon Purdue! I think a mediocre Big Ten team is better than a mediocre ACC team. Please prove me right.

AlmaOtter: This was an absurdly fun game last year. 42 points scored in the 4th quarter alone! But Brohm’s offense is gone and I don’t think we can take anything from last week’s 6 hour rain delayed win. Syracuse to win and cover.

RUReady4Brazil: Nothing on silly-cuse. Come on Purdue!

RockyMtnBlue: Who the hell knows? Home field in college football is usually worth around 3 points, right? Give me Purdue 21-20

MNW: I must’ve flipped a coin for this one. I have no idea. Choo choo, 31-29.


Yup. Another game. The list never ends.

This poll is closed

  • 36%
    Syracuse covers a tiny spread. The OTE commentariat fear for Thump’s liver.
    (58 votes)
  • 23%
    I’m middling a tiny spread. I’m Austin Powers. I also like to live dangerously.
    (38 votes)
  • 40%
    Illinois got this.
    (64 votes)
160 votes total Vote Now